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penpony · Oct 23, 2011, 05:25 AM

We have been married for 6 yrs. When I got married to him I was unaware of anything regarding his niece who was 19 at that time.But slowly I started realizing that something is wrong or my mind is fooling around me. This girl would often come to our house, would stay here for days would sleep with us.But neither her parents nor her uncles' or aunts' would say anything.They would just tell me that she is the youngest and she has been pampered a lot.This girl would dress in a vulgar manner when my husband is around and on purposely she would feel sleepy and go to our bedroom and sleep on our bed with the door slightly ajar.My husband would go after her and would sit on her top and would trouble her.Not only this many a time I have seen him pinching her nipples her waist her thighs her back.This girl would just laugh.During night she would sleep near us and he sleeps next to me but puts one hand on her and another on me.Many a times while sleeping near this girl he would ask me to have sex with him.I am feeling restless.He would take this girl out without my knowledge.would stay in her house for long hours.please help, what you people say, is my husband and his niece interested in each other or is this a part of their love towards each other as uncle and niece?Now though the girl is married they contact each other when that girl's husband is not there.please help

joypulv · Oct 23, 2011, 05:29 AM

His and her behaviors are totally inappropriate. She was an adult when you married so there is no child molestation. It doesn't matter if they have actual intercourse or not - what you have actually seen is not acceptable. He and she either stop or you file for divorce. What country are you in?

penpony · Oct 23, 2011, 05:48 AM

Im from India
In Tamil Nadu it is acceptable to marry their uncle

joypulv · Oct 23, 2011, 05:58 AM

I would divorce him in a heartbeat. Let them get married. Do you have somewhere to go?

JudyKayTee · Oct 23, 2011, 06:24 AM

Fine, if he wants to divorce you and marry her there's little you can do to stop it. There is no way this woman would be sharing my bed in the meantime.

I realize I don't understand your culture BUT I can't believe this is acceptable behavior anywhere. It's called (loosely) a threesome.

aseika · Oct 23, 2011, 06:24 AM

Yeaah, divorce this guy. Whether they have slept together or not I think your gut is trying to tell you something. He took her out without you knowing! Pinching her nipples? You can do better than that!!

DoulaLC · Oct 23, 2011, 06:37 AM

He is not being respectful of you or your marriage. While they may marry in your culture, I doubt this is appropriate when you are already married to someone else. Regardless of the cultural differences, this is wrong if it causes you to feel this way.

Have you spoken to your husband about how you feel? If he doesn't think he needs to change, then you will have to decide what you are willing to live with.

Personally, I would not stay in a marriage with this sort of behaviour.

Jake2008 · Oct 23, 2011, 07:55 AM

You are wondering if what you are seeing, between your husband and his niece, has any meaningful interpretation, or whether you are imagining things.

What you see IS what is going on. You are not imagining anything.

The question I have for you is, why are you unable to do anything about this yourself. For example, why can't you tell her no more sleepovers when her husband is out of town (or at any time for that matter). Why wouldn't you be able to tell your husband that her in your bed is not acceptable to you, and why wouldn't you make it clear to both of them, that their provocative behaviour toward each other right under your nose has to stop!!

What makes this a situation you have no say over?

JudyKayTee · Oct 23, 2011, 08:30 AM

I wonder about the heading - "still" loves his niece?

How much of a surprise was this relationship?

penpony · Oct 23, 2011, 09:38 AM

WE had a lot of fight over this. But after this fight this girl hardly comes to our house. She got married only recently. She contacts him when her husband is not there. From her behaviour its very clear that she is interested in having sex with him. I don't know exactly whether they had sex together before but their coziness is veery clear. Whenever I think of this I feel sick in my stomach.

penpony · Oct 23, 2011, 09:56 AM

From his behaviour also its very clear that he needs her.

JudyKayTee · Oct 23, 2011, 10:00 AM

Originally Posted by penpony

From his behaviour also its very clear that he needs her.

Right, there appears to be some sort of fixation or compulsion.

Wonder if he WANTS his wife to throw him out so he doesn't have to leave her for the niece?

DoulaLC · Oct 23, 2011, 04:21 PM

Originally Posted by penpony

From his behaviour also its very clear that he needs her.

What do you want to have happen? Have you told both of them what you expect? Does her husband know about the situation?

If it were to continue, what options do you have? Are you in a position where divorce would be an option for you? Do you have family who could help you?