[Samuels54]

So me and this girl have been talking for 5 months. Though we never established it officially, we were practically bf/gf. Recently, she asked me if she could go out to eat w/ a friend guy who was coming back to visit a neighboring college from us. I said I didn't mind, but really didn't feel that way inside. It was from this point that issues started occurring. I started to question a lot of things she did and said. I saw messages of her talking to guys she met going out. Though the messages didn't hint at anything bad in particular, I still felt it was wrong for her to talk to these guys (who she claimed were only going to be on "friend" terms) when 1) we are together and 2) the unlikelihood of those really being friendships (especially when she just met them). That didn't make sense.

I confronted her about it and she tried to explain how she didn't see it as a bad thing, because she was only being friendly. She eventually agreed that I was right, and that she could see how that wasn't good for us. I was still so upset that I told her we needed a break so I could sort things out in my head. I was pissed. She stayed at my place that night after the arguement; and because my questioning of what she was really doing, I sneaked and synced her txt message to my email (this is craaazy, I know). So during this "break" I was able to see who/what she was saying via text to people. I saw that she was still talking to some of these guys. So after 2 days I told her we should meet up and talk again about my thoughts. I indirectly provided her a way to tell me the truth of whether she was continuing to talk to these other guys during the time we were on a "break", but she lied and said she stopped. I told her that I knew she was BS'ing and got her to confess she did lie. She said she lied because she was scared I would get mad and us not be together. When I asked her why didn't she just stop talking to these guys, she said she did it subconsciously (she guesses) to protect herself from me because I didn't want to be in a relationship a while back, even though we've done everything as if we were a couple. I left her that night saying I'm done w/ her.

She ended up finding out about the messages being synced as called me. As she agreed maybe we shouldn't be together, I switched roles and said I wanted to make things work. I told her I THOUGHT about syncing the messages but I never went through w/ it. She still believes this , and doenst know I actually did. With that said she said she would have to think about us continuing anything because for me to think of something that crazy was a lot (I agree that was extreme). I complied and gave her space. Its been a week now, and we hardly ever communicated (texted a few times, but that's it). We were suppose to meet up today to talk, but she texted back say "aaah I've been super busy and forgot. Can we reschedule?". Since Fall Break starts today, she wanted to wait until after that to talk to me and say how she feels. I wrote her a letter last night explaining how I felt and pleaing to her. She texted this morning saying that she really does the sincere change in me and the letter meant a lot. But she still wanted to wait until after break.

This is the 2nd time she has postponed on me. The time before, was a few days ago. She already told me she has thought long enough to know how she feels before. So why is she continually postponing me on her thoughts? What's the point? Thoughts pleaseeeee!thanks

[Mona82811]

I Think She Needs Time To Think.. &About Goinq Throuqh Her Messaqes I Understand Why Yuuh Went Throuqh Them.. But Give Her Time To Think Maybe She Does Want to Be With Yuuh But She Wants To Fiqure Out A Way To Tell Yuuh Or Maybe She Doesn't.. If She Doesnt&Yuuh Really Lovee Her Stand By Her Throuqh Everythinq&Show Her Yuuh Really Do Care She Will Notice Somedaay(: Think On The Positive Side.. Those Other Guys Are Just Friends Don't Worry About Them She With YUUH Not Them.&If She Got To The Point Were She Lied About Not Talkinq To The Guys She Must Care&Still Want to Be With You.

[talaniman]

Since there is no relationship, there is no commitment, or agreement, so you are out of line snooping, and confronting her. You are both liars through your actions, for whatever reasons and this isn't a relationship, nor a proper friendship, without honesty from both sides, so forget this.

If you haven't gotten it together in 5 months, I fail to see how it will work out, and be a healthy, happy, relationship. You both have poisoned the possibility in my opinion.

Sorry, I don't see it.

[Samuels54]

@Talaniman, you're right that there was never any establishment and that I shouldn't have snooped any her busy. I was def wrong for that. But our "relationship" was not bad by any means initially. Everything has been great, until the period of week recently. Though we never termed ourselves as being bf/gf, we did everything as if we were on that level. There was just no label.

@Mona82811. Thank you. I've just had conflicting thoughts now as to if she really does want something from us. Though I need to be patient, this continuance in delays makes me think these possibilities of whether she trully wants to continue. I don't that at all that she cares about me. I just doubt that she wants to continue, and that's why this issue is still being post-poned. Maybe I'm over analyzing though, know clue lol.

[talaniman]

Maybe you don't know how to let go, and not be worried about keeping some one who ain't in it to win it with you.

When in doubt, step back, and let the facts of the matter emerge, but lack of honest communications, and deceit have poisoned whatever you thought was going on.