[reoreo]

When I first went out with this guy, I forced myself to accept that we have to pay 50/50 each time we have a meal. One day, I could not take it anymore so I told him that we take turns to pay meals, regardless of the amount, so that will look as though we are not so "calculative" with each other. Though this system seems fair, in reality I am paying for him because he eats double my portion and orders extra dishes when it is my turn to pay.

In the past, my ex - boyfriends have always paid for me, I really can't accept this system. Once when we went for holiday together, everything was split 50/50 including the room that we stayed up to cents. Despite being 6 years older than I am, he earns the same amount as I do. And at the rate that both of us are going, it is likely that I will overtake him anytime soon. It does not mean that I am richer than him, I have a lot of other commitments and in nett effect, I actually have less to spend on than him. He is very thrifty with his money, he doesn't even contribute to his family even though he is staying with them. He has 60k in savings but why is he behaving like that? He refuses to invest in properties.. All his money is in fixed deposit. I believe he is doing so because he is afraid of losing his money and hence only put in his money where it is safe even though it doesn't grow. He drives a 22 years old car and I am embarrassed to be seen in it and when I try to talk to him about it, there is no indication that he will change his car any time soon. He is always seen in just a few shirts, just about 5 shirts. He doesn't care about his fashion and I don't even want to be acknowledged as his girlfriend.

Because of all these, I am getting bored of him. He talks about marriage whereas I try to avoid the topic. I feel that he is behaving like that because he is hoarder and also he had been cheated before in the past. If there is no trust in relationship, I find that there is no point that we carry on. I don't see myself marrying a man who can't even pay for my meal. What about diapers, baby expenses when the baby comes along? I can be independent but if I have to live a life like that, I rather be alone. I don't know why we got together in the first place.

Should I ditch him?

[talaniman]

Of course you should ditch him, since you don't like him or his ways. Hey you tried, hope it was fun, but stick a fork in this relationship... its done.

[BK201]

Even with different ideologies, people have successful relationships and marriages. The reason is acceptance and tolerance. But when there is something that neither of you can tolerate, its better to quit. The only thing that bothered me was, the 50/50 deal (yukk what is that! ). But, Just seen is 5 shirts, I think its his prerogative, as long as they fit him.

[mmresd]

Why would you continue a relationship with someone whose style you don't like. I personally don't see anything wrong with spliting things 50/50 since men and women are equal right? Why do you expect your boyfriend to pay for everything or for most of things, you guys make the same amount of money, and your expenses are controlled by what you choose to expend your money on. As far as his savings, that is none of your business, you are not married an that is HIS money. To finalize, if there is no trust in the relationship regardless of what the reason is, then there is no relationship.

[reoreo]

Dear all, thanks for your replies. mmresd, it's not my expectation that he pays for EVERYTHING. I never expected that when he can't even pay for 1 meal. I think it is a nice gesture for at least trying to pull the wallet out and pretending to want to pay. In my case, he counts up to CENTS. I'm sure you wouldn't like that too.

When I talked about about his money, I think you have missed the point. The point is not that I want to control where he spends his money or wishing that he could spend it on me. The main gist is about TRUST issue.

Anyway all of you are right. I should not continue with this since there are things I can't accept.