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Mommi · Oct 13, 2011, 07:05 AM

Go sit in their office until they help you. Had to do that with Jag here to get some paper work done. Squeaky wheel gets the grease. Good luck!

AK lawyer · Oct 13, 2011, 07:38 AM

Originally Posted by califdadof3

No, because he is military he has a home state. And according to what the OP has stated the home state is CT. That is the state that the OP would file in based on the home state rule.

"(7) "Home State" means the State in which a child lived with a parent or a person acting as a parent for at least six consecutive months immediately before the commencement of a child-custody proceeding. In the case of a child less than six months of age, the term means the State in which the child lived from birth with any of the persons mentioned. A period of temporary absence of any of the mentioned persons is part of the period."

The place where the child lives is what matters, not the child's father.

I don't see any exception to this for servicemen.

New York is clearly the child's "Home State".

christinades · Oct 13, 2011, 07:55 AM

Just sat at jag, they can't help me because its not an "emergency". The "emergency" would be if he's trying to come on base. Which I have no clue what his next move is if he can find my husbands 1st sgts number. I guess ill have to keep calling. I just need to know what my next step as to trying to keep him away from my family will be. I'm going now to change my sons last name since I gave him that name at birth thinking he was going to sign the birth certificate. Do I need his consent?

AK lawyer · Oct 13, 2011, 08:16 AM

Originally Posted by christinades

Just sat at jag, they can't help me because its not an "emergency". ...

I'd have to agree. His calling the 1st Sergeant, without more, doesn't seem like an emergency.

Originally Posted by christinades

...I'm going now to change my sons last name ... Do I need his consent?
...

Yes, You probably have to tell the court that you think he's the father, and then will need his consent.

Mommi · Oct 13, 2011, 08:22 AM

I was always told if the child is over 1 year old then yes, you need the bio daddys consent.

AK lawyer · Oct 13, 2011, 08:30 AM

Originally Posted by Mommi

I was always told if the child is over 1 year old then yes, you need the bio daddys consent.

I don't think you can do it (for a child) without his consent (or dispensing with consent) no matter what the age.

christinades · Oct 13, 2011, 09:23 AM

Then my hands are tied, basically?

AK lawyer · Oct 13, 2011, 09:56 AM

Originally Posted by christinades

Then my hands are tied, basically?

No, not at all.

You can sue him for child support and, at the same time, for an order giving you sole custody rights. He might, in response, ask for visitation.

You can try to get the child's name changed, although this wouldn't necessarily be a complete solution.

Or your husband can file a petition to adopt the child. If this is granted, the name change, including a change to the birth certificate, would be incidental. It would let the biological father off the hook, as far as child support is concerned, and at the same time remove any possibility that he could ask for visitation or other rights regarding the child.

You really need to hire an attorney, in either case.

ScottGem · Oct 13, 2011, 11:39 AM

Originally Posted by AK lawyer

"(7) "Home State" means the State in which a child lived with a parent or a person acting as a parent for at least six consecutive months immediately before the commencement of a child-custody proceeding. In the case of a child less than six months of age, the term means the State in which the child lived from birth with any of the persons mentioned. A period of temporary absence of any of the mentioned persons is part of the period."

The place where the child lives is what matters, not the child's father.

I don't see any exception to this for servicemen.

New York is clearly the child's "Home State".

As I understand it, since a person in the military can be assigned to a variety of locations, when they join, they are assigned a Home State. This is used for taxation and jurisdictional issues. So CT would, therefore, have jurisdiction.

cdad · Oct 13, 2011, 02:05 PM

Scott is exactly right.

Because military members may have "legal residence" in one state, but be stationed in a different state, the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act, allows military members to pay taxes, register vehicles, vote, etc., in their "state of legal residence," rather than the state they are stationed in. This can sometimes result in a tax advantage because several states exempt military pay from state taxes.

Ref:

Military Legal Residence and Home of Record

christinades · Oct 17, 2011, 08:37 AM

I'm petitioning for Child support, Sole and physical custody and also a restraining order against my sons biological father who is not on the birth certificate and lives in a different state. The hearing will be here where I live and I was wondering if my son's father could be at the hearing while a restraining order is in place. I know for sure that he will show up, but I need to know if he's allowed.

JudyKayTee · Oct 17, 2011, 09:06 AM

He COULD appear in a telephone/video conference. At the time the restraining order is issued this would be addressed in NY. I don't know where you are.

If the restraining order keeps him from defending or representing himself the Court MIGHT (again, in NY) make Court appearances a specific exclusion.

EDIT: I now see that you are in NY. If the restraining order is a ploy to keep him from attending the Court appearance(s) and the Court realizes it you will not look good in the eyes of the Judge. This is something people attempt all the time - I'm not saying it's your intention but I do see it. So does the Court.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...-603235-2.html

christinades · Oct 17, 2011, 09:08 AM

I am stationed at Fort Drum, NY, he resides in CT.

cdad · Oct 17, 2011, 12:34 PM

What is the restraining order for as this seems to be something new ?

JudyKayTee · Oct 17, 2011, 01:03 PM

My impression was that the restraining order may very well be a ploy to bar the father from Court OR make things more difficult for him. Subject came up very late in the game, following other advice. That's why I requested that the threads be combined.

I wasn't being unnecessarily harsh. Seemed to be going in that direction - "what if ..."

christinades · Oct 17, 2011, 01:48 PM

I talked to an attorney and he said I can get a restraining order against him to not contact my husbands 1st sgt and to keep him away from my property. Its not to make it harder for him because he can call in for the hearing I just don't trust that he won't ca again. My husband doesn't need to lose rank over this.

cdad · Oct 17, 2011, 05:51 PM

Originally Posted by christinades

I talked to an attorney and he said i can get a restraining order against him to not contact my husbands 1st sgt and to keep him away from my property. Its not to make it harder for him because he can call in for the hearing i just dont trust that he wont ca again. My husband doesnt need to lose rank over this.

The lawyer lied. You can't get a restraining order because he called your husbands sargent. Your husband would be the one to get one if there is grounds for it. Is this same lawyer the one that told you to file for custody there too with the restraining order ?

christinades · Oct 17, 2011, 05:56 PM

What did the lawyer lie about? I'm getting a restraining order in place for my husband and I so he can't contact my lawyer and he can't come near us when we go back to visit our family in CT through the holidays. He's definitely a threat to me and my husbands marriage and he's threatened my husband many times with his life. The lawyer at JAG told me to file for sole and physical custody, child support and a restraining order.

christinades · Oct 17, 2011, 06:02 PM

I meant so he can't contact my husbands SGT*** (not lawyer)

cdad · Oct 17, 2011, 06:12 PM

Originally Posted by christinades

What did the lawyer lie about? I'm getting a restraining order in place for my husband and I so he can't contact my lawyer and he can't come near us when we go back to visit our family in CT through the holidays. He's definitely a threat to me and my husbands marriage and he's threatened my husband many times with his life. The lawyer at JAG told me to file for sole and physical custody, child support and a restraining order.

You can file for yourself and you can file for your child. But your husband is a separate entity and you can not file on his behalf. He is the only one that can do that. Also for your custody issues you should be filing in your home state which you have said is Ct. If you file outside of there it can be rejected. Also anything filed in NY with the home state being Ct will only be temporary until a court in Ct can hear it.