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BOOM87 · Feb 5, 2007, 03:12 AM

Hey, I'm 19 years old male and I'm a virgin. I'm not ashamed or anything but I believe that you must stay a virgin until you get married. I have recently broken up with my g/f after dating her for 7 month! I found out from her that she wasn't a virgin. BTW I asked her the same question on the second day when we met and many more times. She lied to me but after 7 month she finally told me the truth. I broke up with her but I still have feelings for her. She loves to me to death and she has done a lot of good things for me. But she's not a virgin and I don't know what to do now?:confused:

Capuchin · Feb 5, 2007, 03:35 AM

What's more important to you, her or your beliefs? You have to make a choice.

I personally don't believe in remaining a virgin until you are married, as I believe it's an important part of any relationship, so I can't comment on your situation.

Can you accept that part of her? It will always be there. As I think you realise there's no point in a relationship if you can't accept it.

laylow80 · Feb 5, 2007, 08:55 AM

You need to stay true to what you believe. You honestly shouldn't have broken up with her over a lie, if you truly loved her you could get over it(no matter how big). It's obviously a huge thing to you to stay abstinent and if she respects that, for God's sake, get her back! You've been together with her long enough and you shouldn't let one little lie ruin the whole relationship. Did you ever stop to think about her side of her decision? She could've kept it a secret from you because she didn't want to hurt you or pressure you into something. She could be ashamed of her past, and doesn't want that to affect your present relationship.
It's fine if you're a virgin and you're dating someone who isn't. If anything, the experience might make things a little more exciting in your relationship, she could turn you on in ways you never would've thought possible. Get back together with her, you took this too far, and you should be glad she is willing to respect your wishes and not have sex. This girl sounds like someone who really treats you well, despite her past. Forgiveness is the key. If at first she didn't want to tell you, you should realize she eventually told you because she felt very comfortable around you, and thought you should know, since things were getting serious.
Tell her you did what you did because staying a virgin is a really important principle in your life and you thought maybe you would get pushed into something since she isn't a virgin. You really love her, and want her back. Tell her you appreciate the fact that she respects what you feel is right. When you get married, if it is to her, or to someone else, the gift of being a virgin should really be special to who you get married to. You've waited and saved your virginity for someone you've decided to spend the rest of your life with. Not many guys can do this, and I'm sure your girlfriend was probably proud of you and didn't want to change anything by telling you her past.

It's awesome that you want to wait until you get married. :-)

kp2171 · Feb 5, 2007, 09:12 AM

I'm not going to tell you what is right for you.

She lied to about something she had the chance to be truthful about. OK. Not great.

You keep asking her and asking her about it. Not great.

If you decide to be with her you have no right to hold it over her head. You know the truth. To be with her and to punish her with the idea that she isn't "ok" is wrong... so chances are you need to go your separate ways and be done.

phoenix1664 · Feb 5, 2007, 09:37 AM

I am not an expert,

But in my opinion I am not a person who believes that you must stay a virgin until marriage I personally believe that losing it to the person who you love and you think you are meant to be with if she loves you then, well yes she lied which is wrong but you never know she might have done it for the right reasons if you love her and she loves you why not try and work past it not everything works on the first try just talk with her.

I hope it works out for you.

Tuscany · Feb 5, 2007, 09:46 AM

If you broke up with her because she lied to you that is one thing. But if you broke up with her because she is a virgin that is another. Losing your virginity before marriage is a personal choice that each person makes. If she decided that she loved a person enough to have sex with them, that is her choice, just as it is your choice to remain a virgin. We cannot control what others do with their lives.

I think communication is the key in any successful relationship. Obviously she was nervous about the virginity issue otherwise she would not have lied. Perhaps you need to sit down with her and have a heart to heart discussion (if you would like to get back together). That way as your relationship continues to evolve you both know where you stand on sex.

But can a virgin and a non virgin have a relationship that is lasting and loving... I believe yes they can

ap6589 · Feb 5, 2007, 11:30 AM

Dude my last girl friend had had sex with three other guys before me. I didn't like it but I deal with it. She says she regrets it but I don't know that for sure. But I didn't let it get between me and her. But on the other hand that's hypocritical of me because I've been with 7 girls. I made that mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. Maybe she is just ashamed and didn't want to hurt you. If I were you just talk to her. But you shouldn't let something like that get between you to.