Soul2squeeze, you sound like a smart woman. We all question whether we are going to see loved ones again when we die. The problem here is nobody really knows the answers until we are gone.
I, for one, would like to think that if we are that connected to someone in life, then we will be reconnected to that person when we die. If you feel strongly that your son will be reconnected to his father, who he is related to by blood, but didn't have the benefit of knowing his father, then it stands to reason that you will be too, because you did have that benefit.
Marriage is a contract that is made between two people to enable them to be recognized as one unit in the eyes of the law, so that they may have whatever benefits the law will allow. A marriage contract and laws are both man made. A connection as you describe is an emotional bond between two people. That connection is a lot more solid and stronger than any man made contract.
Give this situation some thought:
A man and woman decide to get married. By law, they are husband and wife. They realize in a few years that they have made a serious error in judgement and really do not love each other. As a matter of fact, they can't stand to be around each other. But in the space of those few years, they have had two children together. They decide that for the sake of the children, they will stay together. Ten years later, the husband dies of a heart attack. The wife, although sad for her two children and sad for her husband, feels nothing but relief because they did not love each, she couldn't stand to be around him, and there was not an emotional connection.
Now, the question becomes this, do you believe that, because they were married, they will reconnect after the wife dies? If there wasn't any emotional bond between them, why would they have a reason to? Because they had two children together? Maybe. But, I would think that you, in the relationship that you had, would be more likely to reconnect to your boyfriend, than this couple will, because of the love you had for each other. Emotional connections hold far more importance than any man made legal connection.
I hope this helps ease your mind a bit.
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