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    lisa1471's Avatar
    lisa1471 Posts: 181, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Oct 4, 2011, 05:35 PM
    Should I tell my pregnant friend her hubby is cheating?
    My girlfriend is pregnant due soon and her hubby is cheating on her with his co-worker. Everyone knows it but her. Me and other friends want to tell her but he's going to stop after the baby is born. We want to give him a chance to make sure he do so. The baby was planned and he's very happy so we know that he will be a better person. Other than that he's a nice person, and we don't want to tell her and it mess things up but we want him to stop.They planned baby to be closer and I know they will be but he's been dealing with this same woman for some time now. That's the thing that bothers us.

    I'm friends with one of his buddies and these guys carrying on bragging she's bit older. About 10yrs older, and they are wasting their time. If she found out it's with the same person she will be hurt. That's my question though should I tell my friend what he's doing or wait because he will stop anyway once their first child is born. He loves children he stares at other babies he gets so tickled so it's a matter of time.

    Can someone please help. Do I stay out of it or what?
    mmresd's Avatar
    mmresd Posts: 2,002, Reputation: 553
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    #2

    Oct 4, 2011, 06:23 PM
    Yes, it is none of your business. Stay out of their lives.
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #3

    Oct 4, 2011, 11:15 PM
    Not for you to tell her.

    Have you heard the term "kill the messenger"

    Let them sort it.

    At the end of the day its not your relationship. Its there's. No matter how much you care.

    Who knows what goes on? Don't butt in here.

    Be there as a friend like always, but don't plan, & gang up to drop a bomb.

    Im sure you want the best for her, but, there is time for stepping away & discretion. As a friend.

    She may find out soon enough. If not, its not your prob.

    "he's been dealing with this same woman for sometime now"

    Karma has its way.






    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Oct 5, 2011, 02:01 PM
    No I would not tell her, but I would tell him that everyone else knows and he better do the right thing now, or somebody will blow his cover. I would probably put a bug in her ear also, but NO, I would not hit her with this news while she is vulnerable, but act in her behalf, behind the scene.

    At some point she will find out and wonder who knew what and when so give it some thought, as this is a tough decision to make for sure.

    What do you think the right thing is? Is she a great friend, or just a friend?
    lisa1471's Avatar
    lisa1471 Posts: 181, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Oct 5, 2011, 02:20 PM
    She is a great friend that's why I want her to find out.He's having an affair and it's been a yr now .Not sure what kind of woman this is but she should know it's over once their baby is born.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    Oct 5, 2011, 02:34 PM
    I doubt she does, and that doesn't make it right does it.

    As a guy, I have told my friends to not include me in their infidelity, because if the fool is stupid enough to flaunt it in front of others he deserves to be caught.

    He doesn't sound like a very nice guy to me, but selfish, and foolish often go hand in hand. I would tell a great friend, but that's just me, but I advise you warn him that everybody knows what a lying, cheating boob he is, and he better get his sh1t together like yesterday.
    phillysteakandcheese's Avatar
    phillysteakandcheese Posts: 973, Reputation: 356
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    #7

    Oct 5, 2011, 02:58 PM
    I disagree with the others. If you are good friends with this person, you should tell her what you know - Don’t give her speculation or interpretation about what “might” be happening, just give her the facts as you directly know them.

    I really doubt the cheating will end after the baby is born. More likely he’ll stop for a little while, and then somehow rationalize that it’s okay to start cheating once again.

    When she finds out about the cheating and how long he’s been doing it, she’s going to wonder why her “friends” left her hanging while “everyone knew” except her.
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #8

    Oct 6, 2011, 07:45 PM
    If you were in her situation, what would you want her to do?
    And her friends?

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