[EddyGirl]

So... my boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months, we have our ups and downs but I'd say we are both committed, and honest with each other.
But a few months ago my boyfriend told me he watched porn quite regularly, and asked what I thought of it, I told him what I though; which is that it objectifies women and I don't like it. He then promised/said (voluntarily) that he would stop it and never watch it again, that he didn't need to watch it etc.. stupidly I believed him.
Well since then I basically didn't think of it or of him watching it. Then the other day he admitted he did stop watching it for about 2 months, then went back to watching it every week, BUT he hasn't watched it for a month now.

Anyway I accept that guys watch it and all, even though I don't agree with it, but it's just the fact that he lied about it.. and we have great sex (or so I thought?) fairly regularly.. even though we don't live together. I just feel betrayed for him lying to me, I thought all these months that he wasn't watching it then BAM I hear the truth.
Has anyone had the same experience or any thoughts? Would be really appreciated. :)

[JoeCanada76]

My only thought is that he is with you. You both have a good sex life.

Pictures on the internet are just that pictures. There is no relationship, there is no sex.

He did not really lie to you. He said he would stop. He did, then he went back to watching it. He let you know about it but was not rubbing your face in it.

Your lucky, I guarantee a lot of men who watch porn do not divulge any of that info to their other half. Whether married or not.

Actually he was quite honest with you, you also said you do not think it is a big deal but at the same time it is?

Him watching porn has nothing to do with your sex life together. They are completely two separate things.

[talaniman]

He lied from guilt that he couldn't keep his word, but he doesn't get credit for trying, failing, and trying again? Keep this in perspective, when its just the lying that you judge.

You know what's missing from the equation though? Your permission, and lack of trust that he could handle this porn watching, and agreement of how within the boundaries of good behavior that you both agree on.

He tried to please you, and its harder than he thought, but give him his due for trying, and don't make this so personal, as clearly its more about him, than you.

The bigger the deal you make of this, the bigger the wedge between you.

[answerme_tender]

As you have stated you have had your ups and downs. Is this that big of a down to dwell on to break your trust for him or break the trust of his to be open with you.

Don't break the connect that you have with each other by playing the judge and jury in this relationship, no offense you may end up hanging yourself so to speak. No one wants to feel judge by their partner that creates hurt feelings and they usually get rid of that person from their life.

Take Care

[Fr_Chuck]

He told you he watched it, and he told you he would stop, it appears he tried, So where is the lie,

When he watched it for the first time, he was suppose to run go tell you, so you and he could fight about it,

I think he did not tell you he started watching it again, but I think you are making way too much out of this.

[JoeCanada76]

He told you he watched it, and he told you he would stop, it appears he tried,. So where is the lie,

When he watched it for the first time, he was suppose to run go tell you, so you and he could fight about it, ?

I think he did not tell you he started watching it again, but I think you are making way too much out of this.

Exactly, I could not see where the lie was either.

[EddyGirl]

Thanks so much for the different perspectives guys. It's really helped. I can see how I've been a bit one sided also, and probably haven't seen it as clearly from his side.

[dailymantra]

I think it's amazing that he came to you unprovoked and told you everything. You didn't have to ask, you didn't have to catch him. He respected you enough to tell you everything he's done all on his own accord, and that, my friend, screams love, commitment and maturity. If my boyfriend would have been that way about it I would be the happiest woman in the world. Unfortunately, he has lied and lied again and now I feel like garbage all the time, just trying to force myself to believe the answers, apologies and promises I squeezed out of him.

[krittz]

Try watching it with him. You may enjoy it. I do know my partner use to watch porn but honestly darl... he may just want to spice up your sex life and try new things. If u love him enuf and feel comfortable with him... maybe give it a go at talking to him about watching it with u. You will be surprised at what you can learn.