[notgotaclue]

Ok, so I'm having a problem. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 2 years. The last time we went out together for a night out was six months ago. The last time we had sex was ten months ago. He's very affectionate, cuddling, holding hands, but doesn't want to have sex with me. He never wants to go anywhere with me or have sex with me. If I suggest going anywhere he starts moaning at me that he doesn't have any money. I suggested the cinema mid week last week and he looked at me like I'd suggested pouring boiling oil on his privates.

He completely disregarded my birthday, but when I went to my party that night with my friends, he text me to say that he would be in my place when I got home. When I got home he told me he was too tired and stop bothering him! The next morning when I told him that it had upset me, he told me not to be so stupid, birthdays aren't important to him. Note: He told me before his own birthday two months before that he would be very upset if people close to him didn't acknowledge his birthday!

Then he shouted at me to grow up and stormed off! His new trick lately is to ring me and tell me he is coming over and then just not show up! His excuse is always either he has no phone credit or there's some emergency with his daughter, note: his daughter is an adult woman with kids of her own. He has three other kids but always uses the one daughter as an excuse for whenever he stands me up or lets me down.

At one stage, according to him, she would have run out of petrol about 6 times in a 2 week period. I hadn't heard from him in over a week, and then suddenly he's ringing me every day tells me he is coming over and then doesn't bother showing up! Does anyone have any idea what is going on here? Has anyone else experienced this kind of behavior? I guess its important to note that he is not a young guy in his twenties, but over 40!

In a very well paid, undemanding job! Am I just being stupid here! I'm getting so angry at being treated like this but when he's good he's really good and I don't want to end things if there is any hope that this is just some mad phase that men go through!

Sorry for the long question, just trying to give as much detail to try and get some kind of answer. Thanks

[talaniman]

I wouln'td say you are stupid or anything, but you sure take a lot of crap, and BS from a guy who should know better.

When a guy acts like that, no matter the age, it means you are an option, and very low on his lists of priorities.

He must really be good to be worth all that BS he puts you through. I think you deserve better. I think you can find better options yourself.

[TrueFaith]

He is acting like a kid

Question shouldn't be is he trying to break up with me

The question should be is.. Why the hell am I still with him?

Sit the guy down and talk with him let him know you should be treated with a lot more respect and your not some play thing to be on call when he wants

If he tells you to grow up or try and dismiss you then get rid of him
I. Mean he does not even sound like much of a boyfriend now so what are you losing?

Drop the dead weight
Find someone better

[mmresd]

He is keeping you on the back burner and sees you on HIS time, without any regard to YOUR feelings or YOUR time. Let this guy go, teach him that if he wants something he is going to have to do something more than help put as on his daughter's car.

[vanheart]

"I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 2 years. The last time we went out together for a night out was six months ago. The last time we had sex was ten months ago"

"He completely disregarded my birthday"

"His excuse is always either he has no phone credit or there's some emergency with his daughter"

"I hadn't heard from him in over a week"

Why are you with this guy? Love?

He is showing you nothing but disrespect.

Hes using you. And is good at it. You are letting him.

You got into this situation. Hopes. But you knew his drama. Right?
Are you down for the long haul?

I say run. Let him manipulate someone else.

Remember, you are always #1.

Hes not good. He just wants you when he wants you. Which doesn't sound often.

[Jake2008]

Who knows what is driving his behviour. An affair, inability to communicate, drinking, gambling, who knows.

The very bottom line is, it is you, and only you, who is charge of your own life. You either take what you've given, and wait for a miracle which likely won't ever happen, or you get him out of your life completely.

If he does have some sort of problem, and can't cope, or talk about it- what is the point in investing more time in a relationship that isn't going anywhere.

The only thing positive I can say to try, is to confront him, tell him (one more time) what your concerns are, and he has exactly one week to provide honest answers, or you're out. Be prepared that if he does actually answer for his behaviour, to say that if the relationship is going to work, he must agree to couples counselling.

[notgotaclue]

Thank you all so much for taking the time to try and help me. Its really helped having other people point out to me what I've known in my heart and head for so long. I've booked myself a nice 2 week holiday in the sun with some girlfriends... I know its childish but I've decided not to tell him... it will give me chance to detach myself a bit from the situation and when I come back it will just be time to say on your way friend and good luck to you! Again, thank you, you've given me back some self belief in myself :)