[TurningPages]

Well, I met my old girlfriends today after about a year (this last year I lived and studied in another country but I visited my homeland a few days back), and we started talking about our lives. They asked me if I met anyone there and I told them about my boyfriend, whom I'm seeing for the last 8 months.
As the conversation moved forward, we ended up talking about our sex lives. Well, long story short, when I started telling them a few things about my sex life, nothing with too many details, they looked at me in shock!
Well, the truth is that my boyfriend is really creative and has a lot of imagination when it comes to sex, something that for me is great as I'm one of those people who get bored very easily.
Personally, I don't consider my sex life, shockingly extreme but my friends told me that I need to take it easy and that they would never go that far.
So, in your opinion, how far is too far when it comes to sex?

[Fr_Chuck]

Not sure what you mean by too far, leather and chains, a whip for a good spanking. Making him wear a choke chain and collar.

One persons too far is just where another may start.

I prefer the word married in the sentence, but for at least a committed couple if they both agree on certain acts, and both enjoy, why not. In my counseling we often recommend role playing, sex is not just for the bedroom, and much more

[Horizons]

I have to agree with Chuck on the fact that everyone views "too far" as different things. Personally, as long as both parties are comfortable and consenting with what's going on, there's no risk of death or serious injury, and it doesn't directly affect someone who isn't consenting, then I don't see a problem with getting a little crazy.

In the long run, what your friends think is their opinion, and as human beings that's something we're entitled to, as long as we don't expect everyone to share our opinions. Life is harmonizing with the opinions of others and accepting that no two minds think completely alike.

-H-

[Fr_Chuck]

Some people feel some things are too private to discuss, and while they may be "wild" at home, they would not discuss this even with best friends, esp ones they have not seen for a while.

Today at work, three of my friends, were discussing levels of sexual activity, I do not and would never discuss what my wife and I may or may not do in private, They think I am a prude perhaps, ( which is far from the truth) but I am private. So that may also be your friends issues

[TurningPages]

@ Fr_Chuck

I wouldn't like to give too many details but yeah, one of the things they considered extreme is role playing for example, or blindfold etc.
My friends started the conversation, so I don't think they were shy about it. I think quite the opposite. They used really dirty language when they were talking about their sex lives while I was very discrete talking about mine. Actually, I am the one considered prude among the three of us, at least until today. Lol

Thank you both @ Horizons and @ Fr_Chuck for your kind responses!

[JoeCanada76]

It is up to each couple to decide amongst themselves what is acceptable and what is not as far as how far to go with sex and all the possibilities.

Also just because friends might be shocked or surprised or whatever their opinion may be does not nor should it matter any to you. They are not involved (;

They must be jealous. Lol

[TurningPages]

@ Jesushelper76

Lol! Maybe they are. Thanks so much for your response.

[Synnen]

As long as all parties involved are consenting adults, there really is no "too far".

I've done quite a few things that I've talked about on these boards to help people---but I am also very private, and do not talk about what happens in my bedroom with my friends.

[Cat1864]

'Too far' in sex for me is when a couple stops communicating about their likes, dislikes, needs, etc. A relationship should not get to the point where the couple takes for granted that what is happening is going to keep on happening or that either one of them are mind-readers.

Personal boundaries and needs are subject to change as health, environment, lifestyle, etc. affect the reality the couple lives in. Being aware of those changes, discussing them and adapting are, for me, part of being consenting adults. Saying 'yes' once doesn't mean you consent every time. Just like saying 'no' once doesn't mean you might not want to try something at another time.

As for talking to friends, I don't mind general discussions about sex, but I don't believe in giving details. There is enough erotica on the market to satisfy anyone's need for voyeuristic pleasure. It's one thing to discuss role-playing or sado-masochism in general terms. (It does help some people to feel more comfortable if they know they aren't alone in their 'desires'.) Quite another to talk about 'the other night in bed... '

As long as you and your boyfriend are happy, why worry about what others think? Frankly, people like your friends are the ones asking about 'spicing up' their sex life. Isn't it great to already know?

[smoothy]

One thing you may eventually learn... with friends... what they talk about doing and what they actually do, can be totally different.

Some of the women I have dated in the past were big talkers... but total bores in bed... and some of the quiet ones were the ones that actually taught me new things.

And as others have said... I don't talk with friends or people that know me in person about anything that may or may not take place with my wife. Except state that 20 years later, its not boring yet, and is still 5-7 times a week.

[QLP]

Strange phonomenon, often the people who watch the most cookery programmes are eating a microwave meal while doing so.

All good answers guys.

If you are both happy and it's not illegal then it's not too far in my opinion.

[TurningPages]

Strange phonomenon, often the people who watch the most cookery programmes are eating a microwave meal while doing so.

@ QLP

What do you mean by that?
Excuse my ignorance but I'm not a native speaker. :-)

[slapshot_oi]

We need some context here:

My boyfriend's family hates me because of my age. What should I do?

Assuming your friends know the age of your boyfriend, I'm inclined to believe that if he was your age, they would react differently. Or, the reactions were somewhat normal, and you're just being overly sensitive, which indicates insecurity.

Are you doubting your relationship? Sounds like it's worrying you.

[TurningPages]

@ slapshot_oi

They haven't met my boyfriend. And they don't know his exact age. The link you posted is a very serious problem I'm dealing with at the time and has nothing to do with this post.

Regarding this post, it's not like it's a serious issue that makes me lose my sleep. I wasn't hurt or anything because of my friends' reaction. It just surprised me and I was curious to read some other people's opinions on the matter.
The two issues shouldn't get confused. They have nothing to do with each other.

[QLP]

Strange phonomenon, often the people who watch the most cookery programmes are eating a microwave meal while doing so.

@ QLP

What do you mean by that?
Excuse my ignorance but i'm not a native speaker. :-)

I meant that your friends may do a lot of talking about sex, but that people who talk about it all the time, or are interested in what others are up to, may not have a very interesting sex life themselves. Just as people who watch a lot of cookery shows might not do much actual cooking.

[TurningPages]

@ QLP

Lol, thanks for explaining. I may live in England for the last one and a half years, but some of the metaphors and idioms are still tough for me to figure out.

Thanks for taking the time answering.

[QLP]

I must compliment you on your English. We have plenty of natives here in England who are less fluent.

[TurningPages]

@ QLP

Lol! Thank you so much!! You're very kind! :-)

[ITstudent2006]

There is nothing "too far" if both are coherent and agree.

[Stratmando]

You may be shocked if they told you what they really do?
They may be doing what you are doing, and not admit it?
Sounds like you are having fun.