[PlainJane2]

Let's start this to say that me and the man that I am speaking of are both married, which is never a good sign to start with. Anyway, he had started to flirt and wanted to get together with me. I too was attracted to him. We have gotten together and now I am starting to have feelings for him. I told him about these feelings, and he said that he can't allow himself to get attached because he can't lose everything he's worked for. I am not wanting him to leave his family or anything like that for me, I just want my feelings reciprocated. Can he just be in denial about the way he feels about me, or should I just take it to mean that he has none?

[odinn7]

You're both married... no good can come from this at all. Am I understanding that you're having an affair with each other but now you love him and he doesn't want to say he loves you?

If that is the case, then he has already risked losing "everything he's worked for".

In reality, if you 2 are messing around, then your marriages don't mean anything to you and you should get divorced... that way you will be free to play.

[0rphan]

This man is saying,your OK for a bit on the side(an affair)but that's it.

He knows that given time you will be discovered.Both your marriages will be lost,if there are any children involved they will be the ones who suffer.

No... he doesn't love you.You need to wake up to reality,this is not a fairy story with a happy ending,you need to stop this now.

I am sure there were other affairs before you.No, he is not in denial,it was just sex, not love.

When you started to tell him how you felt,panic set in,that wasn't meant to happen the 2 of you were just having fun,with no harm done,no commitment,. just fun... That is all he sees it as,you must open your eyes,stop this right now,before someone tells your husband and his wife.

Could you live with yourself knowing that 2 marital homes have been wrecked? All because of a bit on the side that actually was worth nothing.

Concentrate on your husband,if you have a problem in your marriage,talk about it together, seek councilling,freshen things up that may have gone stale... do not look elsewhere,even though you say you don't want to take him away from his family... truth will always surface,it will happen without any doubt.

Don't imagine for one minute,that you would then be together,you won't.

Please stop and think.Both of you are Married... end of story

[talaniman]

I think he was quite clear that getting attached to you is not worth losing all he has worked for and to hell with what you are feeling, and suggesting he return your feelings.

He was nice about it this time, but I doubt he will be if you continue to cross the lines of acceptable good behavior, and you should drop this line of thinking.

Don't believe me? Just ask your husband how he feels about his wife confessing feelings to another guy, let alone a married one. You are correct in saying this is not a good thing. He is not in denial, he is smart, and you should take it as he doesn't have the same feelings that you do.

[vanheart]

Don't cheat.

Either work on your respective marriages or spilt. That's where the real reciprocation lies.

No one likes a cheater. Except maybe other cheaters.

Nothing good will come from this affair.

[UWillDK]

You're cheating. Of course he doesn't love you, he's USING you. You don't deserve to be married, and neither does he.