[communicare]

I have been married for 21 yrs. To a verbally abusive alcoholic. He has also been verbally abusive to our children when drinking. I want him to leave the house, but he refuses. I have filed for an epo in the past, but allowed him to come back. The mortgage is in both our names. What steps do I need to take. Oh, he has had three dui's. Just waiting for another one, was told he would serve time for a fourth dui.

[joypulv]

Your option is divorce, unless he actually hurts someone physically, which is when you would try to get a restraining order. Depending on the court and your lawyers, he may or may not be allowed to live there while it's pending. Either party on a mortgage is liable for the entire amount; lenders don't differentiate and accept half from each if you split up. That all becomes part of the divorce too. Maybe if you have any grown children living with you, you can talk about them working and contributing if this happens, and you get to keep the house and have to pay some or all of the mortgage.

[dontknownothin]

See a divorce attorney. Much depends on where you live and the laws there.

If your husband is abusive, a restraining order is an option but they are normally pretty short term.

If you file for divorce, given his substance problems you can likely get physical custody of the children and can ask for exclusive possession of the marital residence, in which case he would have to move out.

Your other option is to move out of the house, see an attorney and begin efforts to get a divorce and get him out of the house so you and the children can move back in. This may be your safest option. Do you have a place you can go with the kids? There may be a shelter or program that provides short term housing to women in your situation - have you looked into or considered such options?

[ScottGem]

The names on the mortgage don't matter, it's the names on the deed that matters.

If he is a part owner, then the only way to get him out is with a restraining order or divorce action.

[Fr_Chuck]

I am sorry this has happened. In what ways were you able to get him out before ( but then followed the pattern of letting him back) Could this be done again ?

But normally filing for divorce and often you may have to even move out temp while you fight over who will get the house. ** there is no for sure that you will.

[twinkiedooter]

File for divorce and ask the judge for exclusive use of the home during the divorce proceedings. You can have your attorney incorporate this into the divorce action and have the judge decide at a hearing that you need the exclusive use of the home for you and your children to live in.