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Stormcrow88 · Sep 2, 2011, 11:36 PM

Yah, so I'm about to be 23. I am also a united states marine. I have never done anything with a girl, period. The biggest thing I've done is getting a girls number, and she kind of broke me down. But that was only once... I am pretty smart and average to look at... Obviously I'm in shape cause I'm a marine. On top of that I have a great personality. I'm not being egotistical, but I know that everyone I meet likes to be around me. I'm funny and weird and straight forward. I am a well rounded individual. I like sports, I like reading, I like video games and love movies and music. But at the same time I like fishing, camping, and nature in general. Here comes the question:

Why haven't I met a girl that wants to spend more than even a minute with me?

Is it that I am more hideous then I think I am? Or is it that I'm not out going enough? Perhaps I just don't measure up to other guys?

I realize without having met me its hard to answer this question, but I am being completely truthful in every thing I have said. Thanks in advance for any input. Ive been battling with this question since I was 17ish. So any input would be appreciated.

BK201 · Sep 3, 2011, 03:25 AM

If girls started to measure up the guys to other guys, only a handful will be occupied. So, that question can be eliminated. Perhaps not going out enough would be a reason. Guess you should start to talk your mind out and loosen up a lott when you meet with girls. Take it easy and slow, you sound like a nice person, give the girls a chance to see it by loosening yourself a bit. Offer pure friendship, you will harvest the same.

Cat1864 · Sep 3, 2011, 06:14 AM

I realize being a Marine means your time isn't always yours and where you are stationed can greatly affect the dating pool. It can also make you feel like you have limited time and a lot of competition possibly causing you to maybe come on a bit stronger than you realize.

How do you pursue your interests? Other than sports (and it depends on the sport) most of your interests can be done solo or in very small groups.

Getting involved in your hobbies can be a good way to meet people and get to know them over time instead of trying to have a relationship in a night which doesn't sound like what you really want. If you have the ability and time, taking classes in subjects that enhance your interests like Photography, Western Literature or Music Appreciation can give you a chance to meet people on an even footing. There are all kinds of clubs where you can get to know people with interests close to your own. Getting involved in church or community related events can give you other ways to meet people.

The point is to take the pressure off yourself in a social situation. Take your time to get to know people and for them to know you.

You seem like a confident person. Let that confidence shine through.

talaniman · Sep 3, 2011, 03:00 PM

Ask someone for a date, if she says NO, ask someone else. Don't be discouraged by NO, just keep asking.

And have a great time. Looks got nothing to do with it.

smoothy · Sep 6, 2011, 04:49 PM

You have to cast a fishing rod more than a few times if you want to catch a fish...

You are going to have to ask a few girls out before one might say yes.

Also keep in mind... as great as you might be... you aren't going to appeal to just every female out there... as is the case for every other guy.

Perhaps its as simple as being overly focused on what type you are after (which may be the exact type that's NOT interested in someone who's going to move around a lot.

Remember even a butt ugly troll is going to find a match if he keeps trying and looks for the right types. And there all types out there... most of them aren't right for any one person.

#1 Keep looking and trying

#2 Don't take it personal if they aren't interested.

The moral being... you aren't going to find your sole mate if you give up after a few Miss Wrongs.

Just Looking · Sep 6, 2011, 05:21 PM

A couple more suggestions:

What type of girl are you asking out? Try asking the girl that every other guy isn't interested in. I can't tell you how many nice girls I know that are maybe a little quieter or a little more conservative who are also wondering why no guy asks them out. It's sad because they are attractive, intelligent, and fun. I've also seen these girls totally blossom when they do meet someone that shows an interest in them.

You might also start with a more casual relationship with a girl. It could build to something more romantic, but at least you'll get some experience and confidence.

I also think that the traits girls are looking for in a guy change as they get older and become more mature. They start looking for a nice, well-rounded man, which is how you come across in your post. You might look at the 23-25 year olds if you aren't already.

As Cat mentioned, finding someone while pursuing your interests will already give you something in common and something to talk about. Use all your resources, friends and families included, to increase your chances of meeting someone you might like.

twinkiedooter · Sep 10, 2011, 09:42 PM

My son is currently 28 and he's had an impossible time trying to find a date or a girlfriend. He did have several girlfriends but they moved away to different states. We even live in a college town to no avail. Girls tell him they are the other way or they are between people right now (whatever that means) or they are not interested but thanks anyway or flat out get lost. My son can comiserate with you. My son suggests that you keep trying. My son says that you have a lot going for you being fit and a marine. Do not despair, Miss Right will come along when you least expect it. Stay out of bars my son says as all you will find is trouble there with those type of party girls. You may find someone who has your same interests through an online dating site. Not too many hothouse flowers like camping and fishing, but there is probably ONE or TWO girls out there that do and you two would certainly hit it off having a love of nature.

Now my son doesn't feel so bad knowing he's not alone with this same problem.

TurningPages · Sep 11, 2011, 09:26 PM

I am a 22 year old girl and here is IMO the secret for being successful with women, CONFIDENCE! I've seen really good looking guys not being able to get a girlfriend because they're insecure and on the other hand, very unattractive boys walking around with really hot girls because they were confident.

So, each time you approach a girl, be confident about yourself, stand straight, look in her eyes (not around or on the floor), have a steady tone in your voice, a confident smile and other than that be yourself. Don't look like you're trying too hard. Women don't like desperate men who act like their life depends on their acceptance. Just be cool, relax, enjoy yourself wherever you are and approach a girl you like when you feel like it. And so what if a couple of them reject you? Even the most attractive men get rejected from time to time. Think positive and move on. Good luck!

Synnen · Sep 12, 2011, 03:53 AM

The one thing you don't mention in your post is how many girls you ASK OUT.

If you never ask anyone out--well, that's why they're not interested.

If you ARE asking them out--well, are you only going for the "hot" girls, with the great bodies and perfect looks? If so, you're probably asking the WRONG girls out. Try asking out a 6 instead of a 10.

Finally--get to know women as FRIENDS. If a guy is looking at me as a sex object, I don't want to even date him. If he looks at me as someone interesting to add to his pool of interesting people he knows--I'm much more likely to be interested.

Aurora_Bell · Sep 13, 2011, 06:27 AM

I also wonder how he responds to girls who initiate coversations with him. If he is giving off the "friends only" vibe, maybe the girls are looking else where. Do you think that your opinion of yourself with girls puts up a shield that may block girls from wanting to get to know you a bit better or on a more than friends basis?