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talaniman · Dec 8, 2011, 04:05 PM

Sorry, but its obvious you will need more than one conversation about sex between you before he rethinks his own rather strict ideas about sex. He was probably raised that way, so it may take longer than you think.

This is where you think more in building understanding through communications. It's a huge challenge to get in some ones mind. Especially if he was raised that sex was dirty or evil, or even worse was taught nothing.

You better recognize these things and not be distracted by your needs. Obviously you cannot openly, and calmly discuss anything, and that's the real problem to solve.

Merrr1 · Dec 8, 2011, 05:18 PM

He doesn't see sex is evil or bad he is open mind really but he just see its strange to ask him to be strict and try a spanking

JudyKayTee · Jan 1, 2012, 09:41 AM

I dated a man who wanted to be spanked. I tried spanking him. It did nothing for me and, in fact, I didn't enjoy it at all. He kept asking and asking and asking - I got sick of hearing it and broke off the relationship.

My point? This was something he "needed" - which OP has stated - and not what I "wanted." In the long run one of us had to give. You can't force someone to do what makes that person uncomfortable.

Merrr1 · Jan 1, 2012, 01:44 PM

Exactly that's why I haven't told him about it to not embarrass him because I think he is not into it for sorry :(

JudyKayTee · Jan 1, 2012, 01:47 PM

If he is not and you need spanking then you need to move on.

In the long run you are going to be VERY unhappy.

Merrr1 · Jan 1, 2012, 06:27 PM

I love him so much and I know him for years love him for years I can't leave him just because of that reason but I need it badly too :(

JudyKayTee · Jan 2, 2012, 08:54 AM

Originally Posted by Merrr1

i love him so much and i know him for years love him for years i can't leave him just because of that reason but i need it badly too :(

Then decide which you need the most - someone else and spanking and him and not spanking.

I think it's all been said.

Merrr1 · Jan 2, 2012, 09:51 AM

Yes I know that's was all said but I were just looking for a way to convice him with that because I weren't know he doesn't into that lifestyle now I knew that so I'll be silent never try

I don't know if is it normal to feel that way but all here telling me yes its normal so I'm trying to see myself normal not asking for something strange

talaniman · Jan 2, 2012, 09:59 AM

Its not that YOU are strange at all, nor is he, its just you are into something he is not. Just as he is into something YOU are not. That for him being of the free spirit to explore other aspects of sexuality with you.

Both of you are normal, and as a couple have to make it work for you both.

JudyKayTee · Jan 2, 2012, 10:34 AM

Originally Posted by Merrr1

yes i know thats was all said but i were just looking for a way to convice him with that because i werent know he doesn't into that lifestyle now i knew that so i'll be silent never try

i dont know if is it normal to feel that way but all here telling me yes its normal so i'm trying to see myself normal not asking for something strange

Normal covers all sorts of things - what is normal and acceptable to you is obviously NOT normal and acceptable to him.

Some people like anal. Other people don't. There's no normal and not normal. There's "what can I live with? Or without?"

What difference does it make if you want something strange and he doesn't? You don't agree, period. I don't see the concern over whether what you want and expect is normal.

Merrr1 · Jan 2, 2012, 12:31 PM

Yes you right guys I do believe in that now we are both normal and I were thought I'm sicko thank you so much to feel me I'm okay

JudyKayTee · Jan 2, 2012, 12:38 PM

But what are you going to do? Stay in the relationship? Leave?

Merrr1 · Jan 3, 2012, 01:38 PM

Sure I'll stay in my relationship he is my soul mate nowway I would leave him even if I asked for somehting he isn't into it he could do that if he know he going to do it because I like but I don't want make him do something just because I like so I were just need him to do that because he like it too so if he isn't into it I'll try to accept his personality as he is , because I love him and he adore me too

JudyKayTee · Jan 3, 2012, 01:41 PM

What exactly is a soulmate? I see that posted a lot.

I have no idea what you are saying here: "nowway i would leave him even if i asked for somehting he isn't into it he could do that if he know he gonna do it because i like but i dont want make him do something just because i like so i were just need him to do that because he like it ..."

I thought he was very upset, made you cry, you backed down from requesting the spanking - yet he adores you?

What?

Aurora_Bell · Jan 3, 2012, 05:03 PM

I am also confused, not trying to be rude, but the English seems to be getting worse and worse... Not sure what the OP is trying to say here...

Merrr1 · Jan 4, 2012, 07:17 AM

SORRY for my english what I'm trying to say here I'll stay with him because I love him so so much . And I don't want make him spank me because I like it only I were wished that to find he is like it also . And when I have knew he doesn't like it or accept that idea it hurts me and I cried just it but I'm still love him he is much important than my wish to get spanking

Aurora_Bell · Jan 4, 2012, 07:39 AM

Well, you got to do what ever makes you happy. And if this is a compromise you are willing to make and you are still happy, then all the more power to you. Good luck!

Merrr1 · Apr 24, 2012, 02:24 AM

I know he going to ask to marry me those day and I'm so worry to not appear to him my desire to get spanked , I told him already about it but it doesn't something known much in our country when I told him I think it's good punish to me he told me it's now our culture even sure you have know about it from local website of sicko people he thought I want to try it not I like it > it hurted me so much when he couldn't understand me and I'm so shy to open the same article with him again because he thought I'm sicko I think I could live without it but from time to time I feel I need it badly I'm so afraid to marry like that he think I have bad fetish and I just want to try it as forgin country because we don't use it

Beside its turn me on allot to get order or to be forced to do something . Our country suffer from domination men that's why good men try to be nice to women my boyfriend so nice to me so I can't ask him to be dominate because its weird all women here ask for nice boyfriend not dominate one he would never understand me about that because he haven't met someone weird like me

JudyKayTee · Apr 24, 2012, 03:43 AM

You asked this and it was answered months ago. I don't know if you enjoy the topic of conversation or expect that anyone's views have changed.

You HAVE your answer. You may not like it, but you have it.

talaniman · Apr 24, 2012, 05:39 AM

After all this time you have not told him what you want in a way he can understand. That's not good and you just have to be honest and direct and see what becomes of it. Or spend your married life unfulfilled and frustrated.

Tell him you cannot marry him until he knows the truth of your nature.