[lisab2000]

HI
I'm writing about my son, his name is Bradley
Ever since brad turned 14 he was distant and sometimes he would talk back to me, his mother, Not often, mainly brad kept to himself, he stayed in his room when he was home.
I also found out that Bradley was stealing large amounts of money from me, the last amount was 2 hundred dollars, I didn't notice because my mother had just passed away and I was going through a very difficult time, he also had party's in the house when we weren't home and lied about it, I found out that he was lying about a lot of things. It was a shock to me, he never apologized. We were always generous with money with brad, we got him a used car and paid for insurance and everything else even though my husband was out of work, we did this because he was in college, so we would support him, I later found out that he was not attending all his classes.
Most days brad did not speak to my husband and I. unless asked a question, I thought that it was a bit rude, and we had a new rule, it was when you leave the house say good by and when you come home you should at least say hello.
We also had another rule, in order to live home, he would either have to go to school or work.
So brad moved out.
This was 8 months ago, we still took care of him to some degree, rides to doctors appointments and help with paper work and stuff like that.
But he only called when he needed something, other then that we didn't hear from him, now he's stopped calling all together, he does not return our calls so we stopped calling him. I wanted to email him and he told me he didn't have access to a computer.
Let me such say, brad was a great kid growing up, we love him very much and showed, we always remarked about what a great kid he was, always, I don't know why he wants nothing to do with us, it was just his birthday, I sent him a card with some money, I never heard anything back, he didn't call on mother's day, fathers day and my husbands birthday.
He knows me well, and he also know that what he is doing is hurting me, a lot.
What I want to know is why he dislike us so much. Or why is he so indifferent.
This is all I can figure, we had money problems, I suffer from a chronic illness, and his father and I sometimes argued over money, not a lot.
In the last year and a half, I lost both my parents and my son, I wish I knew what he has against us, that's all. We ask, he just makes up excuses, one other thing, he's changed his appearance quite a bit, his whole face is pierced now, lips nose and tongue, he' was goth looking when he lived home, now he's more goth then ever. And I wouldn't mind if he was kinder like he use be. I miss him horribly, but I'm frigging angry and I'd like to go to were he's living and tell him off, we don't even know the kids he's living with. I packed up all his stuff and put it in the basement, I don't even want to see it. Sorry for such a long question/letter any info would be appreciated,
p.s. he is not in contact with any family members, his brother or his cousins, he has a very bad grudge against them, he told me that much.

[Homegirl 50]

What a sad story.
I wish I had answers for you.
Perhaps he is on drugs, perhaps there is a psychosis.
When you have done all you can do sometimes you have to just let him go.
He knows where you are and if and when he is ready to come back he will.

I wish all of you well.

[mmresd]

He seems to have a personal issue, and personal issues are fixed personally. I had a grudge against my parents for a while, moved in with an older girlfriend of mine for a while and forgot I had parents, the same situation, not even to ask them for help. However time went by and I fixed my mistakes and recognized where I was wrong to myself, not that I ever told my parents sorry, but now I talked to them on a regular basis and before I couldn't even stand looking at them, but now, I sometimes even miss them and go visit them to tell them how much they actually mean to me and ask for their forgiveness in how much time I lost with them. Things will be OK, let him sort his issues on his own, a son that leave will always come back, remember that that kid is still your baby and that will be in need of something sooner than you think.

Good Luck,
Javi

[phillysteakandcheese]

Your son is an adult now and is making his own decisions, and he has decided for whatever reason he doesn't want contact with you right now.

All you can really do is let him know you are open to hearing from him whenever, if ever, he is ready to do so.

[Alty]

I'm so sorry that you're going through this.

I don't think anyone on this site can tell you why he's doing this. He has his own reasons, and he's the only one that knows them.

I can however give you some advice. If he wants to be left alone, then let him be alone. Hopefully he'll come around. Don't send him money, don't call him, let him come to you. If he does call asking for money, the answer should be no. If you're not good enough for him to have a relationship with, then you're not good enough to take money from.

Hopefully he'll work out whatever it is that's bothering him. Until then, concentrate on healing yourself. Counseling would be a great idea, not only to deal with this, but to deal with the loss of your parents as well.

I wish you all the best.