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Confusedone79 · Aug 20, 2011, 10:50 AM

I am a 32 year old male who was recently told that my father may not be my biological father. This only came about after the person who believes is my real father began to look for me. My mother decided to break this news to me thinking she was protecting me and didn't want me to be blindsided by it all. Although I feel that defeated the purpose because I felt as if I was blindsided by a semi truck regardless. So after 6 months of asking for a paternity test I am still getting the run around and they continue to beat around the bush and push it to the wayside.I will always look at the man who raised me as my true father but in recent months I have had a series of serious health issues that are not common in my immediate family and feel it is important for me to know my genetic origins for medical reasons more than anyting. My question is, do I have any rights as a resident of California to obtain a court order for a paternity test at this age? This has also caused an extreme amount of emotional and mental distress in my life. Any legal advice or opinions would be greatly appreciated.

twinkiedooter · Aug 20, 2011, 10:57 AM

Have you asked the bio father about your medical problems? If your real father came looking for you maybe he wants to have a relationship with you now, many years too late.

As for the court ordered DNA testing, may I suggest you contact an attorney about this and see what can be done as you won't be able to accomplish this yourself.

AK lawyer · Aug 20, 2011, 10:58 AM

Originally Posted by Confusedone79

... So after 6 months of asking for a paternity test I am still getting the run around and they continue to beat around the bush and push it to the wayside. ...

Who are "they"?

Which paternal candidate isn't cooperating?

Fr_Chuck · Aug 20, 2011, 10:58 AM

no you have no rights to a paternity test.

How do you know that the possible bio father is looking for you ? If he is, someone knows him or knew he was looking, why not ask him for the DNA test if he is looking.

Or to be honest, while not 100 percent and no value in court, get a hair sample from dad, perhaps his comb or bush in bath and send it off for a mail order dna test

Confusedone79 · Aug 20, 2011, 11:14 AM

Both my mother and father are refusing to do a dna test. This isn't about anything more than knowing the truth. I would love to be wrong, don't get me wrong but there are to many question marks that raise too many questions in regard to my genetic origins. This has taken a huge toll on me and I have been in and out of my doctors office for treatment regarding my severe depession and anxiety not to mention that I have recently started having seizures on a fairly regular basis. Since these conditions are not common in my family it is enough to raise a fair amount of questions.

excon · Aug 20, 2011, 11:47 AM

Hello C:

Then STEAL a piece of his DNA, and have it tested.. I'm talking about a hair or a cigarette.. Be careful NOT to contaminate it yourself.

excon

Fr_Chuck · Aug 20, 2011, 12:19 PM

And you mom is not a issue, unless you think you were adopted. So there is no need for her DNA test.

But you seriously need counseling if this is causing serious stress, so what, and knowing who your dad is, will not give you medical info, not unless he wants to give it. So you go in and have a complete physcial done.

And what type of Questions can put you under medical care. I am sorry, stop being a drama queen and step into real life.

You are exactly who you were the day before this was told to you.
100's of thousands of adopted kids and adults have nothing about their real bio parents, they are who they are raised to be.

Confusedone79 · Aug 20, 2011, 07:10 PM

In regards to speaking with my biological father regarding medical history and so on, that information is being with held from me. I have asked several times for his name and number but my mother refuses to give me that information. Therefore, I am unable to contact him at all in regards to that or anything else for that matter. I fel that it should be my choice to know this person or not. I have and always will look at the man who raised me as my father but I also feel strongly that I have the right to know the truth. I am being denied that and all it does is raise more questions than answers at this point. To those who have responded with sincerity ans logical thoughts I thank you. Cheers and God Bless!

lilpoppa · Aug 20, 2011, 09:16 PM

I more or less have to agree with Fr_Chuck, knowing who your bio father is won't give you access to his medical history. The only way you are likely to accomplish what you want is to convince your mother to tell you, If she won't tell you its something you will have to live with. I learned a long time ago that there are things that affect your life that you can't control, getting upset or stressed out over them is like walking in a circle, it'll give you something to do but it surely won't get you anywhere. And furthermore I believe that Fr_Chuck is one of the most sincere members of this forum, He's blunt and unsympathetic, but he tells the honest truth as he sees it. That may offend the sensibilities of people like yourself, but I admire a man who can give an honest answer.

GV70 · Aug 20, 2011, 10:29 PM

Originally Posted by Confusedone79

Both my mother and father are refusing to do a dna test. This isn't about anything more than knowing the truth.

I have to agree with Fr_Chuck.
You posted your thread on A LEGAL BOARD, and you got the answer-you have NO legal grounds to force them to DNA tests.

Fr_Chuck · Aug 21, 2011, 08:59 AM

If you want someone to feel all sorry for you, go to a prayer meeting or post on the relationship board.

I am adopted, I have adopted kids and basically you are making sorry excuses for feeling strange about this. You should really and honestly be pissed but get over it.

Knowing who your dad is, will not change one single thing. Nothing, you are getting worked up and you are getting upset with no possible result other than heartache. You have to learn to be happy with who you are, happy with the parents you have.

This silly medical excuse to be honest sickens me, OK so you find out your real dad had all of these issues, you know it does not mean you will, and if he did not, does not mean you won't.

If you get a complete medical exam and if you have regular check ups, you have just as good chance of catching things as any of us.

You are acting like you are the only person who has ever had this happen, it is far from the case. And to be honest 99 pecent learn to deal with it, and it has no effect. You have seriously over acted, have seemed to make it a main focus that has been allowed to harm your relationships