[Cocobabyjune16]

Wondergirl please stop commenting. Your help is no longer needed on this thread.

[J_9]

Wondergirl please stop commenting. Your help is no longer needed on this thread.

When you post on a public site such as this, you have no right to dictate who or who will not respond to your posts. WG has given wonderful advice, it's just the advice you don't want to hear. We are not here to sugar coat, but to give the best honest advice we can. If you don't like it, well, then I'm sorry.

[Cocobabyjune16]

Those are statements not even advice.I don't need people sitting here just talking bad about me. I GET what I did was awful and I will have to pay the consequences. I really thought this was a good site... I came here for advice and only a few people have provided me with it. So I thank those people who actually GAVE me advice, and didn't just put down a statement. And WG gave no advice, besides telling me how to spell, which is off topic... So I mean you it's a public thread if people want to waste their time just posting stuff that's irrelevant or not helful to me w.e. But please I'm asking for people to take this serious and give advice I don't care of it's good or bad I just need the advice

[Wondergirl]

Those are statements not even advice.I don't need people sitting here just talking bad about me.

No one is talking bad about you.The advice from several of us is to be an adult and tell your parents, because they will eventually find out and be even angrier because you lied (yes, not telling is lying, lying by omission). I also advised you on how court might go. I've dealt with offenders and their POs and also supervised community service for over ten years.

[slapshot_oi]

The only reason you should tell your parents is just so you can eat and sleep again. Other than that it's your call. It's your right to remain silent, it's not lying in the eyes of the law. But realistically, if you still decide not to tell them, you need to prepare for when and if they find out.

I already told you what to expect in court, but I did forget to mention you should dress professional, be confident and offer concise answers. Don't apologize or volunteer an explanation because there's never a good reason to commit a crime, just answer his questions with brevity, which, most likely will only be "are you guilty? Yes? Okay, step aside. Next defendant please come forward". The whole ordeal, from the time you walk up to the table before the judge to the time you leave the courtroom, will be about 20 minutes, most of the time will be spent waiting.

Now on to my opinion: the fact you show remorse for your crime speaks for itself. Punk kids who get the book thrown at them are the ones that just don't care, clearly you're not one of these. There will be people who will try to convince you that this crime will follow you all your life as if you were a hardened criminal; it won't. And again, I repeat, the court will not send you anything in the mail, they will only hand you documents or speak to you in person, Macy's could send a letter, but that's it.

We all make mistakes and bad decisions, and if your parents were born with any shred of reason they'll understand that. And if they don't, well, it's time to move out and stay out.

[twinkiedooter]

I'm sorry to disillusion you slapshot but the Court DOES send paperwork to the home address given if the defendant does not have an attorney. How else would they be notified to come to court?

And you, OP are going to have to keep on edge until your folks get the notification in the mail to show up to court. Then the doodoo is going to hit the fan big time.

You obviously don't have much of a relationship with your folks if you are terrified of them cancelling out your college education. What makes you so special to think they would not hit the ceiling over this and "forgive" you for getting a criminal record? You now have a misdemeanor theft record that will come back to haunt you forever unless you have this expunged in about 10 years. No one wants to hire a known thief and you may just be completely barred from some jobs due to this. Some future to look forward to being young and dumb.

You did the crime, now man up and do the time or consequences.

We are all volunteers on his site and are free to answer ANY thread we wish with our advice or opinion.

Not to get us wrong, but we as a rule don't coddle criminals but give them a good dose of reality. I think we would have given you the same advice and moral lecture regardless if this was a shoplifting offense or a much more serious crime.

[slapshot_oi]

I'm sorry to disillusion you slapshot but the Court DOES send paperwork to the home address given if the defendant does not have an attorney. How else would they be notified to come to court?

Huh?

I already explained this, but I love reading my own posts, so I'll gladly oblige.

The summons for the preliminary hearing is provided to the suspect at the police station after the suspect has been booked (i.e. mugshot, fingerprints, police report written up, etc.). And then, at the preliminary hearing, if another court date is requested or needed, the suspect is handed another summons at the courthouse.

The OP isn't fighting a traffic violation where court is optional, she got arrested and is a criminal suspect, hence, court is mandatory. The court will make sure the suspect knows when to appear and gives the suspect enough time to make preparations for that appearance. There is no mail involved, ever.

I close my argument with a very simple question: what if the suspect doesn't have an address? Where would the courthouse send the summons to? Homeless people—who, most likely, can't afford an attorney so this fits in with your example—are also arrested and are afforded the same right to a fair and speedy trial because we live in a great nation.

I rest my case.

Slapshot Law 101.

[Wondergirl]

The court will make sure the suspect knows when to appear

How will the court do that?

[twinkiedooter]

Not all courts hand out summons at hearings or the police department. In Ohio and Florida the summons are mailed. It's up to the defendant to ensure the court has the right address to send this to. The defendants's appearance may be postponed and they notify by mail of the new dates.

I wouldn't be wrong to say that most defendants DO give wrong addresses for whatever reason but their attorneys get the SAME notification and the attorney notifies the defendant via phone. If you have no attorney and fail to give correct address then you will have a warrant out for your arrest if you don't show up.

I don't want to ding you slapshot but could you please give us a source as to where you are gleaning this misinformation from?

[slapshot_oi]

Well, twinkie is right. I did research for Florida, Ohio and Massachusetts and a summons can be handed in person, dropped off or sent to last known address in lieu of an arrest, and I believe that is what happened to the OP. Clearly, this only happens with misdemeanors or traffic violations, all felonies you're getting cuffed for.

[Cocobabyjune16]

Thank you slapshot, macyes is handled, and my parents won't understand they will just Beat me. Me going to school 3hrs away is my moving out.

[Cocobabyjune16]

I appreciate all advice, this is eating away at me and it sucks:( I messed up... please continue with advice

[Wondergirl]

I appreciate all advice, this is eating away at me and it sucks:( I messed up.....please continue with advice

What's eating away at you? You say you have all your ducks in a row. Advice for what?

[Fr_Chuck]

Slapshot, it is common in many places for shop lifting, which is not considered a major crime. For them at the time of being stopped to receive anything, if they do it will be a ticket. Normally they are not given a date and time to appear at the police station for photo and prints ( if done) They will be mailed a notice to appear or the officer takes it to their home. If a court date is set at that point they will be notified, but it may not be set yet. And of course if there is a change in the court date, ( very possible) they will also be notified by mail.

Also normally there are dozens of attorneys who watch arrest or court records and will start sending letters to your home wanting to represent you. So after getting about 3 letters from lawyer offices the parents may have a few questions

[Fr_Chuck]

The only real advice is that you stand up, be a grown up, stop acting like a 10 year old and tell them what happened.

[twinkiedooter]

Well, twinkie is right. I did research for Florida, Ohio and Massachusetts and a summons can be handed in person, dropped off or sent to last known address in lieu of an arrest, and I believe that is what happened to the OP. Clearly, this only happens with misdemeanors or traffic violations, all felonies you're getting cuffed for.

Slapshot I was a paralegal in South Florida and in Ohio so I think I'd know the drill. And Chuck is correct about the attorneys sending out letters prior to the hearing dates. They do this as their bread and butter.

My advice for OP - GROW UP, tell your folks and take your punishment. If they find out after you have left for college didn't it dawn on you they CAN cancel your college but they can't get a refund for whatever tuition that has been paid so far but they can refuse to pay for anything in the future.

You have to grow up sometime, why not NOW? And you need to start saving up for the possible expungement of your conviction. You need to stay arrest free for at least 10 years and then you can approach the court for the expungement which may take up to 9 months to go through. Judges are not in any huge hurry to grant expungements even if presented by an atttorney (which you will have to have). So start saving up while working any job you can get in the meantime.

[Cocobabyjune16]

I have had a job for a 2 years, and I save my money. So any fees wilm be on me. My parents reay don't need this, my dads going through radiation for his cancer. They need no more bills so I'm trying to handle this myself. I'm trying to be grown up about this. All fees I will handle. I was only asking what will happen when I walk in the court room:/.

[Wondergirl]

Your parents don't have health insurance? I went through radiation for cancer about a year ago and could never have paid for it out of my own pocket.

I'm a mom with two kids. Even if I were at death's door, I'd want to know what either of them did wrong. That would break my heart, if they would think they couldn't tell me something like this. I'd feel like a failure of a parent.

[Cocobabyjune16]

Well my parents are a bit different. If I knew the wouldn't completely kill me maybe theirs a slight chnace I would tell them. Just an example of how my parents are( when my brother was 17 years old he accidentally said the word damn in front of my mom, she got out a belt... And I'm sure u know the rest) my parents are not the nicest people

[Cocobabyjune16]

The insurance covers radiation but not the medicine:/