[talaniman]

I can respect your position and glad you and your husband are on the same page. I really don't care what goes on in your house. I have enough great sex at mine. You will get better with those personal lap dances though if you practice. And personally watching those beautiful ladies bump and grind is great, but having sex with a total stranger, I don't think so for the very reason I would never cheat, that's adultry. Just curious what do you LET your husband do with he boys??

[Hercin]

I agree with you 100% AshCash my boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months and he's going to a strip club with his friends. His been to stip clubs before but not while we've been together. So I told him I was cool with him going if he was cool with my going to a male strip club with my friends. He TOTALLY freaked out it was great. I had no intention to go and was just saying that to see his if he would change is mind about going but he didn't. So now I'm making plans with my friends to go to a male strip club even though I really don't want to go I don't want my boyfriend to think that he is free to see other girls naked while I have to sit home at home lonely! SCREW THAT!

[ARKdrummer]

For me I'm not cool with my boyfriend going to strip clubs or watching porn. He as well has agreed not to because he knows how much it would hurt me. Some may say me and anyone else that has my views are just too insecure, that could be part of it, but it's not the main reasons. I know one person mentioned on here that we are most likely not the most beautiful women in our guys life, I completely disagree. When a guy has a girl she should be the most beautiful women, her flaws and all. The flaws are exactly what makes a person beautiful. Any celebrity or stripper that 'seems' to be close to perfect.. they are no where near, it's all fake. They use all kinds of money just to get all those enhancements. Yes, in terms of what 'society' claims is beautiful, there will ALWAYS be someone that looks better.

On another note, it's not just about trust that women have with their men going to strip clubs. There are so many other ways guys can hang out together away from the women than going to strip clubs. Places that are a lot more ethical and won't be viewed as harmful to anyone.

I can probably forgive my boyfriend for most anything except obviously cheating on me and I know that I would either never be able to forgive or it would take a very long time for me to forgive him for going to a strip club.

[sokay]

Yeah I wouldn't have a relationship with a guy who likes to go to strip clubs. I think certain guys here have an obvious bias, and are trying to force their *opinion* on the OP. Whereas I don't see her trying to force her opinion. And she made some very valid points that seem to have been glossed over.

My advice to those guys is: "Great if you feel that way, then go find, (or if you already have one) stay with a woman that thinks your going to strip clubs is "Just Great". But don't try to force other women to agree with it.

PS. Well-known Lap Dances, and, ehem...."Private Rooms" aside... Since when is asking or paying another woman to strip for you not cheating? Wow, I would have thought for sure that counted.

PPS. Ladies, take heart. I know for a fact there are men who don't have to be cajoled in to not frequenting places like that. Some men think it's 'Gross'. Yes, happily married men, who like their wives!

[chuff]

PS. Well-known Lap Dances, and, ehem...."Private Rooms" aside... Since when is asking or paying another woman to strip for you not cheating? Wow, I would have thought for sure that counted.

Ever been to the doctor?

[talaniman]

PS. Well-known Lap Dances, and, ehem... "Private Rooms" aside... Since when is asking or paying another woman to strip for you not cheating? Wow, I would have thought for sure that counted.

Most guys I know can't afford a lap dance, let alone a private room. Geez how many beers do you think you can buy, at the prie they charge?
If a guy is going to cheat, he is going to cheat, when and where, is not important.

For sure though this is one of those subjects that should be discussed before you tie the knot is the whole point. That's why its so important to communicate, and not just play kissy face.
If you don't want a man who goes to those places, don't date him. How simple is that? For sure don't marry one??

[sokay]

Most guys I know can't afford a lap dance, let alone a private room. Geez how many beers do you think you can buy, at the prie they charge?

Just because your friends are poor, that doesn't mean that other men aren't using what money they have to fund these activities, as they are in fact alive and thriving...

If you don't want a man who goes to those places, don't date him. How simple is that? For sure don't marry one??

You're kind of preaching to the choir here. Did you read my post? The first sentence was:

Yeah I wouldn't have a relationship with a guy who likes to go to strip clubs.

[talaniman]

Just because your friends are poor, that doesn't mean that other men aren't using what money they have to fund these activities, as they are in fact alive and thriving...

The point was not to lump us all in the same bucket, just because we are men.

You're kind of preaching to the choir here. Did you read my post? The first sentence was: "Yeah I wouldn't have a relationship with a guy who likes to go to strip clubs"

Fine but every house makes its own rules and boundaries and I was speaking collectively, not personally.

[sokay]

The point was not to lump us all in the same bucket, just because we are men.

Geez, I didn't even do that. At least chastise me for saying all men are exactly the same when I actually do!

[Synnen]

I'd just like to point out that I'm a WOMAN and I think that each house has its own rules--but that women who freak out about a guy going out with the guys to a strip club is overreacting.

If your guy freaked out and accused you of cheating for getting a massage from a male, would that mean that you were OBVIOUSLY thinking about some other guy touching you, in ways that your man just never did? I mean, you could just ask HIM for a massage, right? So why PAY someone to do it, right? I mean, paying for someone else to touch your body and make you feel good is CHEATING!

For heaven's sake--you either trust your guy or you don't. If you don't trust him to just be out with the guys, regardless where they go, then you have bigger issues than not liking strip clubs.

[sokay]

I'd just like to point out that I'm a WOMAN and I think that each house has its own rules--but that women who freak out about a guy going out with the guys to a strip club is overreacting.

Well you have an opinion. So do a lot of people. You know what they say, everyone's got one.

My opinion is if you like for your man to go to strip clubs then that really is great for you. You should continue to let your man do that. It has no impact on my life, so why should I care? I say bully for you! Have a great time with that. I'm sure there is no shortage of men who can fit that bill.

There's also plenty of men who have no desire to do it, and don't need to be cajoled.

However as a woman, that isn't my preference, nor is it of a whole lot of women that I know, and guess what? As a woman, I run my household, and let other women run their's however they see fit, without judging their preferences.

[talaniman]

As a woman, I run my household, and let other women run their's however they see fit, without judging their preferences.

Does your partner not have a say, just to be clear??

[chuff]

The irony of this nonsense is so overwhelming, in every one of these "my boyfriend is going to see a naked woman posts, which is the exact same thing as having sex with another woman" you get the stories about the back rooms and extras from people who have never been to a strip club, and yet when called on this it turns into we are personally attacking someone. It kind of speaks to why a guy would actually want to cheat on someone, when that other person feels the need to be that controlling and not at all open to hearing the opposite *opinion* (notice how I but astericks around the word opinion for empathsis... you got me on that one, that was childish). I'm in no way a guy that goes to a strip club all the time, in fact I haven't been to one in years, but if I'm invited to a bachelor party and my girlfriend tells me that I have to stay home with her and watch sex in the city as opposed to go out and celebrate with friends for one night then I'm sorry but that's just not going to happen.

Speaking of sex in the city, as we know men are visual and women are emotional. Couldn't I make the same argument that my girlfriend going to see that movie is cheating on me, because it appeals to some deeper fantasy that she has? Come on, every movie theatre has a back room and I'm going on record as saying that in some movie theatre some where two people have had sex. Oh my God, I can't let my girlfriend out of the house now.

[sokay]

Couldn't I make the same argument that my girlfriend going to see that movie is cheating on me, because it appeals to some deeper fantasy that she has? Come on, every movie theatre has a back room and I'm going on record as saying that in some movie theatre some where two people have had sex. Oh my God, I can't let my girlfriend out of the house now.

Huh... Every movie theater has a back room where the very same actresses who've just finished posing naked and dancing provocatively in front of men who are there without their s/o's, are waiting. And they're willing to, for an extra fee, perform, um... special services, starting with rubbing their naked selves against him... hmmm, that's interesting Chuff. I wasn't aware of that. You're right, it's exactly the same thing.

[Romefalls19]

Ha ha Chuff... You are the man! The comments you have are just great. It's very true, people have sex EVERYWHERE, so we bar our partners inside the house with ankle monitoring bracelets? Seriously, the more restrictions you put on someone the more likely to go out an experience LIFE! If you think your partner is up to something, next time he goes to the strip club, offer to go with him. I'm sure he has sat through enough of your love sap movies.

I agree with Tal also, does your partner have a say in things? I mean openly saying you "run the household"

[chuff]

Wow, did you actually read my post. I'll say this again *again*(<--emphasis). Men are visual, woman are emotional. Sex in the city does not appeal to men because even though it is a movie about women having sex, which according to you should be something we'd love, it's about the drama that comes with it, which men do not love. But the movie speaks to a woman's fantasy, not a mans.

Huh...

Let's start here. Your going to get Chuffed.

Every movie theater has a back room

I have no idea, I have not been to every movie theatre. But I'd guess that most of them do.

where the very same actresses

So far so good, we are in agreement that strippers are actresses who provide entertainment.

who've just finished posing naked and dancing provocatively in front of men who are there without their s/o's, are waiting.

Well, I'm not sure if you really didn't read my post for are just purposly going on. I said, sex in the city, which is a movie appeals to WOMEN at a deeper fantasy level. Most men don't care about the movie. So for the argument you are attempting to make, WOMEN who just finished watching a movie filled with drama and fantasy which appeals to a WOMAN are dancing emotionally around living out some provocative fantasy in front of men who work at the movie theatre without there significant others. Are women taking advantage of men in such a fashion... probably, but I can't let my girlfriend stay in the house forever.

And they're willing to, for an extra fee, perform, um...special services,

Where in the hell is this happening? I'm sure yes it does happen but it's not the norm as you are stating. But again, where is this happening.

starting with rubbing their naked selves against him

From one guy who has been to a strip club to one girl who hasn't, this is as far as it gets. If you even touch the girl you get thrown out. Happy to clear that up for you.

...hmmm, that's interesting Chuff. I wasn't aware of that.

I wasn't either, which again I ask where is this going on?

You're right, it's exactly the same thing.

Thank you, I appreciate you coming around.

[sokay]

[QUOTE=Romefalls19]

If you think your partner is up to something, next time he goes to the strip club, offer to go with him.

I have no desire to do that. But hey Rome, next time your partner wants to go to a male strip club, offer to go with her. In fact, why don't you just suggest it. What's good for the goose...

I'm sure he has sat through enough of your love sap movies.

You're so sure... but you're dead wrong. I don't go for that sappy love crap. He does.(Yawn.)

I agree with Tal also, does your partner have a say in things? I mean openly saying you "run the household"

Of course. It's never even been the smallest issue. And I already stated, (twice), that I haven't ever had a boyfriend who even likes to go to strip clubs. Believe it or not, there are plenty of men who have no desire to do that. I've never even had to ask him not to. My bfs have always tended to be the ones far more jealous and possessive than I. They get upset when I go to dinner with my friends. My man would've freaked if I ever told him I was going to some male strip club. Not that I want to anyway. But even if I did, I respect the other's feelings enough to not do that. I don't think of those concessions as "Ankle Chains" at all. I'm happy if my partner's happy.

And as far as all this sanctimonious talk about 'trust your partner'. I do. And he me. We trust each other not to pay other members of the opposite sex to take off their clothes and rub their genitals on us. And, guess what? See? Complete trust.

[sokay]

Hmm.. that's funny Chuff. First you labor on about refuting my points, then agree with them. It doesn't seem to me that you have any real point, but just trying to win a little pissing match. Ok, I'll let you win. I'm sure it's very important to you.

[chuff]

Hmm..that's funny Chuff. First you labor on about refuting my points, then agree with them. It doesn't seem to me that you have any real point, but just trying to win a little pissing match. Ok, I'll let you win. I'm sure it's very important to you.

Wow... just wow.

[Synnen]

I've never been to a strip club. I'd like to go, just to see it, but the opportunity just isn't there.

I have, however, been friends with strippers. Believe me honey--they don't WANT your man. They dance provocatively because it gets them good money. They do lap dances (which, by the way, aren't anywhere NEAR as lewd as you think they are) because they pay well.

They don't go around trying to get your man to have sex with them--unless they're in Vegas, or something. Prostitution is illegal, and it's way too easy to get caught in a strip club, because people are LOOKING for it there.

In most strip clubs in this country, as Chuff said, you don't TOUCH the girls. Period.

I talked to my husband one time, who was telling stories about the different strip clubs he'd been to. The highest class one was in Vegas, and they were there at 10 AM on a Tuesday. It was empty except for them. They were there for the buffet, which was all you can eat for like $3.95 or something. They weren't even WATCHING the girls--just having lunch and conversation. Finally, the girl on stage came over and said "Is there something wrong with me? Ya'll aren't even looking". Their comment back was "We're here because the food is cheap, we don't have to worry about prostitutes or drug addicts annoying us through lunch, and because we're pretty broke. We don't have the money to tip you, so felt it unfair to bother you with cheers and hoots and hollers and stuff".

So... whatever. I know my man is coming home to me. I know that strippers don't WANT to have sex with my man. Is your man THAT much of a god, that woman can't keep their hands off him? Or do you just have trust issues, that you can't let your man look at naked women without you?

And Chuff--romance novels. Really, it's a much better comparison. Or shopping! I mean, you're out, trying to look good, with just the girls, and there are guys all OVER at the mall! SOME of them would even have sex with you for money! And you're out with just the girls, in a place where guys TRY to pick up women, and you're out getting things to make you look sexy! OMG! CHEATING!