[loveher4eva]

Hi long story short I was into a 2 yr relationship with my first love and found out she cheated. We got back for a second chance and she was still cheating with same person only this time he did no know about me. This went on for about 6 month. Thing is we can't ever hate each other or be out of each others life. We are both talking about been friends with benefits. Any thoughts on the matter? Saying block her from your life for ever is not an option. She owes me money which I'm getting back and I will always love her and think of her forever nothing will stop that.

[redhed35]

The problem with friends with benefits is that, one person focus's on the friends bit, i.e, emotional support,hanging out,helping out, and the other focus's on the benefits, sex with no strings, no other needy person looking to help move their stuff, you get the picture.

For both of you until you go no contact neither will get out of this circle your in, you were together it did'nt work out, you can't be friends because you still have feelngs for her.

You have two choices here,

1. start no contact now, heal and eventually move onto a healthy relationship.

2. stay what your doing continue suffering and getting hurt for another year or more eventually deciding you can't take it any more and start no contact with a ferry load of emotional baggage, making the healing a longer more heart wrenching head wreaking experience.

[loveher4eva]

Thank you that was very helpful and your rite its just so hard letting her go when I was not the one that ever stopped loving her. But I can listen to all her BS about her loving me an never stopped loving me but I know the truth is if she loved me like I love her she could never do what she has done. I really am worried I will have a lifetime alone always thinking what her life is like

[Fr_Chuck]

Will the other person also know about your relatoinship, and you will be the "other person" who she is now cheating on. Remember she is back with the ex, so you are the person who she is cheating with, they are the ones being cheated on.

But you love her and you are still wanting more and wanting it to be emotional, so no it will never be friends with benefits for you.

And yes breaking all ties is whaat needs to to happen, she can mail you a check each month for the money she owes you, you don't need to see or have contact

[liongal]

Time I a great healer, you just have to be really honest with yourself before you consider FWB. I can tell you now, it prob will hust you even more than your hurting now because you genuinely Love this girl.

If you can, know the whoe idea on the head and settle for being just friends until you can see much more clearer and start meeting women that see your worth more than she did.

I know it hurts ( we all have been there) but Life does get better. Just try and learn the lessons as in my opinion, every relation/friend'ship' teaches us something about ourselves to make the next one even better.

Keep your chin up. God Bless.