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excon · Aug 19, 2011, 09:09 AM

Hello again, C:

You've got to get off what HE does with HIS son when it's HIS time. If what he does puts your son in DANGER, then you have a right to complain... But, NOT because he lets Grandma babysit.

excon

Confused333 · Aug 19, 2011, 09:17 AM

But is what Im stating not correct as far as an 80/20 ? I can't just sit here knowing that my son is being used as a basketball bouncing back and forth just for the idea of his dad hurting me.

excon · Aug 19, 2011, 09:22 AM

Originally Posted by Confused333

But is what Im stating not correct as far as an 80/20 ? I can't just sit here knowing that my son is being used as a basketball bouncing back and forth just for the idea of his dad hurting me.

Hello again, C:

IF you can't abide the agreement, go to COURT. NOBODY wins in negotiated settlements.

I can't tell you if what I described is 80/20 because there is NO SUCH THING as 80/20 in the law. 80/20 is YOUR guys words. What I described is as CLOSE to what I think you think 80/20 means.

excon

cdad · Aug 19, 2011, 09:23 AM

Originally Posted by Confused333

But is what Im stating not correct as far as an 80/20 ? I can't just sit here knowing that my son is being used as a basketball bouncing back and forth just for the idea of his dad hurting me.

Quite frankly. With the attitude you keep pushing. When you get to mediation and your still having the same attitude then you won't have to worry about bouncing the child around as you will have no custody. You can't keep saying what he will do. You can't predict the future. And you can't keep saying he's doing it to hurt you. That's insane. So if you wish to follow those lines then the courts will see you as an unstable parent and your time with the child may end up supervised.

You need to stop trying to figure out how to keep the child from their father.

twinkiedooter · Aug 19, 2011, 11:04 AM

Even if he has 50/50 custody don't you think he's going to dump the kid off at grandma's instead of taking him with him when he sees his buddies? Wouldn't you rather have the kid at grandma's anyway? Dad is not going to magically grow up and spend quality time with sonny tucking him in bed, reading him a bedtime story. No. Grandma is going to do this for him.

I can't tell you how many little kids are being raised by their grandparents as the real parents can't handle this "chore". Why should your husband be any different? Wonder how many of his buddies have exwives and dump their kids at grandma's? Probably a lot.

Confused333 · Aug 22, 2011, 09:48 AM

Ok here is the latest he came home yesterday asking me if we can do the split custody on our own and without attorneys involved, then he said since I went through his e-mails I broke this family up and if I don't change by 360 degrees and start working my *** off for his trust he will never forgive me he also said that I have to beg for his forgiveness to consider this is this normal? Im so hurt and feel like crap he said I will give you till Friday to decide what I want to do.

Fr_Chuck · Aug 22, 2011, 10:16 AM

If you two and agree to terms, ( and it is fairly obvious you can't) it is cheaper, you both agree, hire one attorney to write it up and file it with the court.

But the issue here is, he can do anything he wants, as long as it does not put the child in danger with the time he has as his custody time. That can include leaving them with grandma or auntie or a day care center. Will you not leave them at day care when you work??

You have ( and need to understand) no say in what he and his child does with their time together, if he wastes it, it wastes it.

He can most likely get 50 / 50 if he goes to court, and nothing you have said here is likely to effect that happening. Courts are getting very progressive in allowing fathers equal rights.