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Sharp-shot · Aug 3, 2011, 09:22 AM

All right, so I'm 18 and my girlfriend is 18. I'm that kid throughout his whole life his dad signed the papers so he didn't know what sex exactly was. My Father explained it to me once, he said that masterbating was a devils sudection and sex is murder on a woman who is not ready to have children.

Now my girlfriend, who is my very best friend, wants me to sleep with her. She says she knows I love but she wants me to show her just how much. Now we don't always talk about it but it does come up with friends. A few people tell me she's just forcing me but really she's not it's just that... I'm not always sure of myself around her.

So which do I choose... For my dad's rules for the rest of my life of make my girlfriend happy?

NeedKarma · Aug 3, 2011, 09:26 AM

Originally Posted by Sharp-shot

My Father explained it to me once, he said that masterbating was a devils sudection and sex is murder on a woman who is not ready to have children.

Is that from some weird religious sect? That's a terrible thing to teach a child. You can have sex with a woman when you are both ready to have children, contraception can sometimes fail, be ready for the consequences. Other than that you should not be saddled with what your father told you. No one should go through life full of fear and guilt.

Sharp-shot · Aug 3, 2011, 09:32 AM

He explained it once, his reasoning... My mother died in childbirth along with my baby brother. I guess he sort of blames it on himself.

smoothy · Aug 3, 2011, 09:33 AM

SHe's not likely to be your girlfied forever... or even be in your life in a few years.

While you live in your parents house... you live by their rules... when you have your own place... you can do what you want. But understand with actions come responsibilities.

I don't think he did you a favor teaching you that... but understand sex does carry great responsibilities. Children are one... several untreatable or fatal STD's are another. Understand even with the best of care... that can happen. Its not always someone's fault if someone dies in childbirth.

Just understand statistically... at 18, she isn't going to be in your life long much less forever. You were not suddenly bestowed maturity and adult wisdom when you turned 18... you still have years of maturing physically, mentally, and emotionally. And you will have major changes as will she. People frequently grow apart at that age. So don't do anything that has long reaching ramnifications.

Fr_Chuck · Aug 3, 2011, 09:34 AM

A happy medium,

First sex equals babies, no birth control is 100 percent

So are you ready to be a father, are you ready to pay child support for 18 plus years ?

Do you know what forms of birth control she is on ? If not, then you have not even talked about sex and not ready for it with her.

Sharp-shot · Aug 3, 2011, 09:38 AM

I'm not living in my dad's house. I'm living in my friend's old shed and paying to live on his property.

NeedKarma · Aug 3, 2011, 09:42 AM

Be independant/self-sufficient, be proud to make your own decisions. Be a good person and good things tend to come your way.
I must admit the "have sex with me to prove how much you love me" is not the most healthy ploy in a relationship. Maybe you need this in order to get through a hang-up?

smoothy · Aug 3, 2011, 09:45 AM

OK... but the rest of what I said still applies. Actions have consequences. Sex can result in children... or if its with an infected person... Herpse... AIDS, or a number of other STD's.

Imagine having sex with her... breaking up a few weeks later... finding out she is pregnant... and you are under a court order to pay child support for a kid you might never see that lives across the country (if she moves) for the next 18-21 years... and it WILL be a significant part of every paycheck.

I'm sorry but armed with that information... no romp in the sack is worth it. It happens... I know too many people its happened to.

And I'm with needkarma... that sort of demand isn't healthy or even normal... perhaps she is trying to get you to knock her up for whater passes as rational thought in her head.

There ARE women that do that... TOO many women. I've known a few personally. They have this dellusion... find a guy, get prenant so he won't leave her... then everyone lives Happily ever after... when reality is anything BUT that.

Sharp-shot · Aug 3, 2011, 09:49 AM

I didn't mean to exactly word it like that but... before we started dating, she was in some pretty bad relationship and she used to call me all the time or come to my place and just sit and cry. It's the idea of she thinks I need to prove that I love her but it's what she's done for her other boyfriends so I guess she wants to keep it the same... Of course I could be wrong...

Sharp-shot · Aug 3, 2011, 09:54 AM

There's a part of me that is bothered by her asking but another major part of my that wants to kow what it's like. I love her more than anyone could ever understand...

smoothy · Aug 3, 2011, 09:55 AM

Originally Posted by Sharp-shot

I didn't mean to exactly word it like that but... before we started dating, she was in some pretty bad relationship and she used to call me all the time or come to my place and just sit and cry. It's the idea of she thinks I need to prove that I love her but it's what she's done for her other boyfriends so I guess she wants to keep it the same... Of course I could be wrong...

I think you got it right the first time... read my last post... she's looking to sucker someone into a marriage at any cost. Sorry, but what you describe sounds so much like some of those women I knew its uncanny.

smoothy · Aug 3, 2011, 09:58 AM

Originally Posted by ;

There's a part of me that is bothered by her asking but another major part of my that wants to kow what it's like. I love her more than anyone could ever understand....

Its clear you don't understand love yet... but you have infatuation down pat. When that wears off (and it will), you aren't going to be happy with what's in front of you.

Your little head (in your pants) is calling the shots and the big head (on your shoulders) isn't paying attention. That will only lead you into disaster.

Love and infatuation are two very different things... love grows... infatuation always fades... but at the moment they feel very much alike and that's why its dangerous.

Synnen · Aug 3, 2011, 10:18 AM

First--do NOT have sex with her. She's blackmailing you into it, and you WILL regret it for that reason alone.

She needs counseling to deal with the idea that sex = love.

Second--birth control FAILS. Don't have sex unless you're ready to get married TOMORROW and raise babies together. Not ready for that? Then you're not ready for sex.

Third--There are PLENTY of sexual things you can do without intercourse. Why not start there?

If SHE really loves YOU, she will not pressure you for sex.