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    meeb's Avatar
    meeb Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 1, 2011, 04:06 AM
    Acne problem
    I have backne and a hairy back. The skin on my back is particularly oily and sensitive. I tried everything, from soaps to organic treatments to laser and accutane. Nothing seems to work. They are all large and cystic and leave huge scars. I dated a girl two years ago who was grossed out by it and kept pushing me to get it fixed. She also wanted me to be larger than I was (I benched 250 and was 175 lbs very muscular). She also wanted me to do something about my male pattern baldness (I'm 22 and almost completely bald). Things ended badly with her because of these expectations, and because her parents were strict and didn't like her dating. What did I reason from all this? At the end of the day, whether someone accepts you as who you are depends on THEM. Looking back, it was ridiculous that she wanted me to be like Barbie's Ken for her, and yet the relationship wouldn't have went anywhere because of the way she was ensnared by her parents and had such high expectations of the world. It ended badly with her messing around with other guys and me doing the same and breaking up with her.

    To this day I still have acne on my back. I'm handsome in other aspects, but I too am afraid of showing my back or taking off my shirt. It stifles me when dating women who are very good looking because I'm always afraid they can get someone without bacne and with a full head of hair on the turn of a dime. So I am always on my toes and try to put forth my best side. It sucks, and life is unequal and unfair, but hopefully one day I'll find someone who doesn't expect me to look like a surfboard model.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #2

    Aug 1, 2011, 05:42 AM
    It's amazing that medical science hasn't solved acne, isn't it?
    You've tried everything, so now all you can do is wait to get older, when it almost always stops. Keep the skin clean but no soap residue, and try to have air circulating around your back with just loose cotton tee shirts.
    The brain and hormones seem to run the show. I have a friend whose skin went from dry to very oily after a head injury.
    I know it's not much consolation to compare yourself to others, but I have to say it anyway - it's not on your face, the first thing people see when they meet you. I'm sorry about losing the girl, but she liked you bald at first and it sounds like she just was going to be critical no matter what, just like her parents. It always boggles my mind (as a woman) why some men are self conscious about being bald.
    I have a male friend who had acne on his face and back and is very short, yet the nicest most fun person in the world, and he had girlfriends, and is living with one now, and they were all nice cute girls too. Try not to be bitter, and try not to crawl into a shell.
    (I do sympathize - I'm no prize in the looks department.)

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