[4537claire]

My boyfriend moved in with me a year and a half ago, and has not contributed to bills, rent or food at all, however he does pay for dinner when we eat out about once a week.

We recently went on a big holiday, where he paid the majority of the trip, flights accommodation (it wame to £3k for my half)I am paying him back as and when I can (£500 here and there), but have raised the fact that he hasn't paid for anything at all, and maybe we should make it fair and call it quits, to which he strongly disagrees.I feel in a catch 22 as I am struggling to pay for everything and to pay time back also.

We both have quite well paid jobs, he does have a property that he doesn't live in as it is a 'project' that he is doing up over a number of years and it is a bit of a building site. His point is that he is paying the mortgage on that and council tax bills etc, so he can't contribute to me.

I can't help feeling that things are totally unfair, but he doesn't see that al all.
Help?

[Fr_Chuck]

Simple, get the bills out, tell him he will start paying part of the bills.

Lock the bedroom door on him and let him sleep on the couch till he agrees.

[liongal]

I can't help feeling that things are totally unfair, but he doesnt see that al all.
help?

Unfair is an under statement! Your going to have to get much firmer with him as his measly 1nce a week contribution is not good enough... And oh by the way, he never paid for the holiday if your paying him back; so stop making him think he paid the three grand if your paying every penny back.

This is insane, tell him to leave and conduct your relationship from separate homes, or tell him to pay his share of thehousehold bill slike a real man. (shakes head)

[Cat1864]

When did he buy this property and where was he living before he moved in with you? What was the understanding about bills when he moved in?

I would ask him where he expected to live room and board free while he played with his 'property' for years. I doubt any other landlord would agree to what he thinks is 'okay'. Why should you?

Does he at least help with chores or anything else around the home?

I think I would be telling him that he can start contributing to the household or find another place to live. The loan for the vacation should be easier to pay back without his drain on the household.

[OCGAL]

I'm in a similar situation. My boyfriend said his family moved into this house. So, he's been staying with me for over 4 months. I've asked him to contribute to my mortgage payment. He said he's unable to. That he has his own mortgage payment and other bills to pay. He said he's had a large business loss lately and is just trying to survive. My boyfriend does buy food and cook dinner most nights. I'm very stressed over finances most of the time. So, this contribution does not seem like enough. We've had arguments over this. Each time we talk things through and are still together. Since nothing really changes, the frustration continues to build.

In your case, I don't think you should have to pay him a cent for the trip you went on. I would stop paying him and tell him you consider the trip to a fair exchange for his share of household expenses.

Good luck!