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Linnette1973 · Jul 22, 2011, 08:07 AM

I just found out 2 days ago that I'm 10 weeks pregnant by my Ex boyfriend. We were dating for a year and a half. We broke up for the 3rd time about 3 weeks ago. We've continued to deal as though we were together and had mutually agreed to try and work it out.

Well I told him I was pregnant and all of that changed. We didn't plan this and he firmly wanting me to abort. This was his response without any discussion. His reasons are that he feels we don't get along. I on the other hand really do not want to be with him because he's cheated, hit me, insult and verbally abuse me. I did love which is why we were still involved and although I did not want anymore kids I will not abort this baby.

I have 3 other kids from previous, I'm financially, mentally and emotionally stable. It will be hard physically but so what I will be giving this baby a chance at life which to me is far more important than me not getting along with the man that is the father. He has no other children and never been married I can understand the shock. But I have a responsibility that he seems to not care about or understand.

I'm under a great deal of stress from him, family and friends stating due to his negative behaviour is the reason why I should abort. They make me feel like I'm crazy for wanting to keep my baby! MY Gosh! What the hell is wrong with people. It's an innocent baby!

I can't barely speak to him without a heated argument that makes me literally ill due to my high blood pressure.

I feel like I'm all alone with no one to talk to that's sensible.

Am I being selfish?

If he chooses to have no involvement with the baby that's fine but I know he will intentionally give me pure hell out of spite. To me its more important that my child has a chance at life!

Any advise or comments welcomed!

joypulv · Jul 22, 2011, 08:12 AM

If he didn't want a child he should have thought of that before he had sex with you. Unless you deceived him in some way about birth control (and that would be an ethical decision on your part, not going to work in court), he's responsible now for this child and he cannot force you to have an abortion.

tickle · Jul 22, 2011, 08:14 AM

Linnett, you have conttrol over your own body and no one can pressure you into doing anything you don't want to do, but seeing as you are writing us, then it would seem you haven't entirely made up your mind to keep the baby, right?

What you will have to do is disassociate yourself entirely from this man; get rid of that part of the stress then you can deal with the family part.

Get away for a while and think this through without any external forces coming into play here.

Do you think you may need a restraining order against him; is it that bad?

Tick

Linnette1973 · Jul 22, 2011, 08:36 AM

I'm certain I'm not getting an abortion. I'm just a little emotional for several reasons, not questioning my decision at all.
This guy has been violent with me in arguments so yes I may have to get a restraining order. I don't trust being around him he may try to hurt me and the baby.

I hate all the negativity! I look at my children and think how horrible it would be to abort a child and cheat them from life. I agree I need to disassociate myself from him.

Thanks

Linnette1973 · Jul 22, 2011, 08:39 AM

This is exactly what I told him. He knew I wasn't on birth control I would argue with him to not take off the condoms and him not wanting to use them he felt I only asked for condoms if I were cheating on him. He figured he'd use the pull out method.. well didn't work.