[jivechicken]

I'm currently in a good honest and open relationship with my boyfriend. However, nothing that we do sexually gives me any kind of pleasure. Kissing doesn't do it (which I won't tell him) and neither does sex. I have had boyfriends in the past and kissing them was not pleasurable either. It always seemed like a chore, and still does. I lost my virginity about a year ago to my current boyfriend. Of course it hurt at first, but it kept hurting... internal pain. This could possibly be endometriosis, but I'll have to wait to find out about that. I told him about it and he is very understanding and good about trying different positions and new things in an attempt to help me, yet nothing works. But looking online it looks like even people with endometriosis experience some pleasure. I just don't understand why sex and especially kissing is not pleasureable for me. The only thing that seems to get me going at all is rubbing my back. Of course, when it comes to sex and kissing I feel nothing again. Please fix me :(

[bkdaniels]

From my experience, it is crutial that you speak with your Physician regarding this matter. Usually, the sexual drive of the normal women is primarily conditioned by psychologic factors, with endocrine functions in a supporting role.

The changes in sexual drive produced by alterations in hormonal levels are of relatively little importance in contrast to the role of emotional and psycological factors, however. Therefore, a detailed evaluation of your sexual and social history must be performed by your Physician or Internist.

The following example will illistrate some of the principles involved in the treatment of patients with general sexual dysfunction or frigidity.

Patient A.D., a 26-year old women, consulted with a physician because of frigidity. She had left her husband after 6 years of an unfulfilling marriage, and had sought satisfaction in a series of brief affairs. The interview revealed her to be restless, competative, chronically dissatisfied person who was unhappy in her career and who experienced disappointment in her close relationships. After careful evaluation of the physical aspects of her sexual difficulties and experiences, the physician decided that her problem reflected long-standing psychologic conflicts and referred her to a psychiatrist.

Many experiences in childhood can, later in life, result in incapcity for sexual pleasure. Such experiences develop a climate of fear, insecurity, and dread concerning the whole subject of sex.

Couples with sexual problem frequently lack knowledge concerning the basic anatomy and physiology of the male and female genital systems. Your physician's duty will be to teach, by use of detailed diagrams of the gential system, the basic physiology of the sex act.

Both partners should be present for the instruction, for there is no such thing as an uninvolved partner in a sexually dysfunctional marriage. However, do be aware that learning to permit sexual arousal to occur can sometimes be a slow process; but careful attention by your physician to the problems in your case, a good result can frequently be achieved.

Hope this answers your question!

[BananaPie]

No offense to anyone.. .

But do you masturbate? If you get pleasure from that, then I would think it's a problem with your partner, and not you.

If you haven't before, I would try it out and see if that works. If you do enjoy it, that would certainly be a great way to gain insight into what does and does not please you. If you are comfortable enough, you could communicate your findings to your partner and hopefully make sex more ejoyable for the both of you.

[jivechicken]

Just to clear a few things up:
I'm fairly young... 22 actually and yes, I do masturbate. I have been doing that for a long time and I have always been able to orgasm that way. My boyfriend can usually get me off that way, but anything internal doesn't work for me. Heck, my nipples aren't even sensitive at all. I could probably pierce them and it wouldn't hurt. We have never done oral though. I was going to once, but when I was about to do it I freaked out and broke down crying. I have no clue why I did this, but he wasn't upset that I wouldn't do it. Do you really think I need to see someone?

[Kadehadaire]

My friend had similar problems jivechicken, she did not get pleasure out of sex for a long time, and had internal pain for longer than most women. It took a very long time for her to finally enjoy sex, and she got her first orgasm from oral sex.

After that, her boyfriend gave her hand jobs and masturbated her, slowly going internal with his fingers. Eventually she began to enjoy sex.