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kumudini33 · Jul 11, 2011, 11:45 AM

Hey guys I'm 33 years old divorced with a young child of eight and of srilankan origin I'm currently in a relationship with my white english boyfriend who is 40 we have been together for nearly a year. Im hoping that he would propose to me but he said that he doesn't want to marry me he can't afford it as he hasn't got enough money or a house to marry me he doesn't want us to or have kids and shows no interest in children. He told me doesn't want to have kids within wedlock with me. His parents haven't brought up the subject and recently they have been very cold and unwelcoming to me and always ask me about whether I can get a better job and more money and his mum insisted that I should get a place of my own without him I found that hurtful his dad said to me that because I was black the council will give me a house for nothing. His mum told me not to involve her son in this . His mum then said why didn't I get a huge settlement from my rich husband and she shoved a newspaper in my face showing an article of a woman who fleeced her millionaire husband she then said she saw a job article in the newspaper saying table dancers required no experience she then said I should apply for that. Yesterday his sister was working on her market stall with her female partner and she ignored me and acknowledged him then she introduced this young blond girl to him and didn't introduce me I felt hurt in that I thought she was racist and preferred if her brother dated a white blond girl instead of me I was so upset and hurt at her behaviour.His sisters female partner who is jewish said that if I lived in Doncaster I would be the only black woman living their I found it insulting. Guys what should I do?

kumudini33 · Jul 12, 2011, 07:08 AM

Hey guys I'm 33 years old divorced with a young child of eight and of srilankan origin I'm currently in a relationship with my white english boyfriend who is 40 we have been together for nearly a year. Im hoping that he would propose to me but he said that he doesn't want to marry me he can't afford it as he hasn't got enough money or a house to marry me he doesn't want us to or have kids and shows no interest in children. He told me doesn't want to have kids within wedlock with me. His parents haven't brought up the subject and recently they have been very cold and unwelcoming to me and always ask me about whether I can get a better job and more money and his mum insisted that I should get a place of my own without him I found that hurtful his dad said to me that because I was black the council will give me a house for nothing. His mum told me not to involve her son in this . His mum then said why didn't I get a huge settlement from my rich husband and she shoved a newspaper in my face showing an article of a woman who fleeced her millionaire husband she then said she saw a job article in the newspaper saying table dancers required no experience she then said I should apply for that. Yesterday his sister was working on her market stall with her female partner and she ignored me and acknowledged him then she introduced this young blond girl to him and didn't introduce me I felt hurt in that I thought she was racist and preferred if her brother dated a white blond girl instead of me I was so upset and hurt at her behaviour.His sisters female partner who is jewish said that if I lived in Doncaster I would be the only black woman living their I found it insulting. Guys what should I do?

DFWhottie3939 · Jul 24, 2011, 09:05 PM

If he says he won't marry you, I'd believe him... DUMP HIM.. You can do better. From one woman to another, I'd HIGHLY recommend the book / movie - He's just not that into you. Some of it is painful, but seriously - you'll feel completely empowered after reading it. Best of luck!

Helpful_guy · Jul 25, 2011, 12:49 AM

Its better not to get involved. There is no cure for racisim. Others u can overcome but racism is deep rooted.

lily1470 · Jul 25, 2011, 06:17 AM

I think you should just date other people I mean come on there a lot of people in this world you find a better one a boyfriend that loves you and don't care about what skin color you are

Jake2008 · Jul 25, 2011, 06:44 AM

It is one thing to be rejected by his family for whatever reason- they don't like your colour, they don't like that you've been divorced, they don't like the religion, etc. etc. etc. it could be a million things. But, it is quite another with the part of this that really counts.

That is, your husband sounds to be just like them. If he were outraged, or stuck up for you, or went ahead with plans for a future with you, or married you, or indicated in some way, shape, or form, that he was different from them, you would have a leg to stand on.

As it is now, he does nothing, says nothing to them, and instead has indicated quite the opposite. At least he was honest and told you that he is not interested in marriage, and he is not interested in having more children with you.

If he were interested in a future with you, nothing his family said would go unanswered, ignored, or in his silence, handled in a complacent way. You would be first.

Who cares if his family is racist, they are not the ones that matter. YOU do, followed by you and your parter. If he cannot break the ties, and if he has clearly told you that he does not want to marry you, the decision you need to make, is simply- what kind of future do you want.

I think you have been given an opportunity to come face to face with what a future would be like with this man, and his family. If none of them accept you as part of the family because why should they- there is no marriage coming, they don't even have to try- then why are you there at all.