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girl18 · Jul 10, 2011, 07:54 AM

There is this guy I've been friends with for 3 years now, and I've fallen for him since the day I laid eyes on him. I know for a fact that I've grown to really love him. The first year he didn't know me that well and I was stupid enough to ask him out. He didn't say anything for months until one day he messages me and said he doesn't feel that way about me. As time wore on, things got more awkward because he thought I would hate him, but I never would. I heard he had this non-serious relationship with some girl but broke it off. Now we are really close, and he's always staring\looking at me, he compliments me, acts all dumb, and at times, he would smile while he's staring. He's really protective of me and cares a lot. And he would always ask about me. I've fallen out of love with him many times and started crushing on other guys, but then no matter what my heart is strong for him and then I fall for him again. Hes showing obvious signs that he likes me, all the signs are there not just the ones that I've mentioned. He's always helping me and getting stuff for me even when I don't ask, and he's so nice to me. He would do anything for me. And I'm afraid to ask him the reason behind all that because we would go through that awkward\avoiding thing again, and I'm also afraid that he's just being like that? But the thing is he's only like that with me, that's the confusing part... I need to know what all this is, because I asked all my friends and they told me that he's starting to get feelings for me now that he knows me very well now. But I'm a girl who would always think negative so... answers?

answerme_tender · Jul 10, 2011, 09:04 AM

So exactly how many more years are you going to sit around waiting on this guy to fall head over heels in love with you? You have already given him 3 years and you have been told that he maybe starting to get feelings for you from other people. Yet he himself told you he doesn't feel anything serious for you--HELLO!! Its time to wake up and stop hanging around this guy for crumbs. Of course he treats you nice ---its a great ego boost when someone has a crush on you.

You aren't the first nor will you be the last to have a hugh crush on someone and NOT have it returned. That's nothing to be ashamed about, heck that is life. But when you let that crush turn into obsession and false hope that's when you need to take a time out and re-examine what YOU WANT out of a relationship.

Take care

talaniman · Jul 10, 2011, 04:13 PM

If you are that close then you should be able to talk about it. You obviously have been talking to others about HIM, so why not just ask him if his feelings have changed.

girl18 · Jul 10, 2011, 04:33 PM

If I do its going to make our friendship all awkward again. It took me 1 year to remove all the awkwardness between us, because he felt so guilty that he said that to me, and get over that. Is there anyway I can find out without asking him and suffer through that stage again?

talaniman · Jul 10, 2011, 05:04 PM

No pain, no gain, and at least by talking to just him, you will know where you stand, and not just be wondering, or filled with false hope by the opinions of your friends.

mj808 · Jul 12, 2011, 06:03 AM

I don't remember who gave me this great piece of advice but guys will go after what they really want, and they will make it known. Its been 3 years and he is still messing around and you are feeling unsure. If you can't talk about this with him its not a good sign.