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crosscanadianragweedfan04 · Jan 30, 2007, 10:18 AM

I live in a group home where you aren't allowed to date anyone else in the group home. Back in August, when school started, I started dating one of the other clients anyway. We went really strong and steady until he broke up with me because we got in a fight over religion. He is Wiccan and I'm Christian, but we both respected each other's views.
Now a few months after we broke up, we are slowly, very slowly, becoming friends again. I have a crush on this really amazing guy, and he even liked me, before the rumors started. My ex's best friend has been telling people I have Herpes, HIV, am a slut, and a stalker. He also happens to be really good friends with my crush, so naturally, my crush is going to believe him.
The guy and I barely know each other, so I have nothing to disprove the rumors. Normally, I would just forget the guy, but he sits behind me in 2nd Period. Plus, he's kind of hard to forget. I don't know what to do. Help!
Thanks,
KMEH

RubyPitbull · Jan 30, 2007, 07:38 PM

I am a little confused here. Is it your old "boyfriend" that is spreading these rumors?

btucker · Jan 30, 2007, 07:45 PM

Try no boyfriend for about 2 years and get to know yourself. You need a good counselor and deal with the hurt you have had in relationships before you will be ready for an adult relationship that will be healthy for you and maybe last a lifetime.

RubyPitbull · Jan 31, 2007, 07:12 AM

CCRWF, I think I was too tired last night when I was reading your post. My eyes were starting to cross from staring at the screen too long! :)

I have to agree with btucker. As embarrassing as this rumor is, it is not going to be such an easy hurdle to overcome or to keep this from being spread around more. It has already begun and there is no way to stop it. The best way to overcome it is to stop dating completely. This way, your reputation will be intact and most logical people will realize that it is just a rumor because you aren't messing around with anyone.

And, just keep in mind what you included in your post. The rules in the group home are: you are not allowed to date anyone in the group home. There is a reason for it. It is to avoid problems such as yours. It is hard enough to live in that environment. Getting involved in relationships makes life more complicated than it already is. People that are jealous or have more emotional problems do and say things that are not true, not fair, and downright cruel. The group home is trying to create a safe and stable environment for you, which you did not receive at home. They are placing rules and boundaries on all of you to try to help keep you focused on school and normal friendships as a normal parent would do. They are trying to help keep you out of trouble and enable you to build a decent life for yourself.

I know that you want someone to love you. I saw from one of your answers to someone else, why you are there. I know you want someone to hug you. But, for your own sake, you need to resist this temptation that is so close to you. You need to do things for yourself. Just think about yourself for a change, instead of a boy, and concentrate on what you need to do for yourself to get out of there and be able to lead a good life. As I said, I saw that posting from the boy who wanted to be emancipated. You are a very smart girl. Think about what you have to do in school to get good grades to go on to college. Please don't waste your brain. You really have it in you to go far in this world. Please don't throw that possibility away for any crushes. It isn't worth the trade off.

crosscanadianragweedfan04 · Jan 31, 2007, 10:03 AM

Thanks, that is really sweet. I know boys should be about the last thing on my mind. I got the guts to tell the guy I like,(Judah) that my ex's friend (jared) knows nothing about me. He hasn't got the slightest idea as to who I am and what I am about.
He said he doesn't really care if the rumors are true or not. He is going to keep my name out of both their mouths when they are together. He also said he doesn't care what Jared says about me, it's not going to stop us being friends. While I do like him, I know the likelihood of dating him is not at all likely, so friends is cool. He has a band, and is an overall really cool person who is above rumors. I don't need anyone but myself, God and Jesus. Together, we can make it through anything. Having a "significant other" would be great, but not necessary. Thank you for your advice. It's in strange places that you find people who care.

Much appreciation,
KMEH

punkgiirl · Jan 31, 2007, 07:07 PM

Originally Posted by crosscanadianragweedfan04

I live in a group home where you aren't allowed to date anyone else in the group home. Back in August, when school started, I started dating one of the other clients anyway. We went really strong and steady until he broke up with me because we got in a fight over religion. He is Wiccan and I'm Christian, but we both respected each other's views.
Now a few months after we broke up, we are slowly, very slowly, becoming friends again. I have a crush on this really amazing guy, and he even liked me, before the rumors started. My ex's best friend has been telling people I have Herpes, HIV, am a slut, and a stalker. He also happens to be really good friends with my crush, so naturally, my crush is going to believe him.
The guy and I barely know each other, so I have nothing to disprove the rumors. Normally, I would just forget the guy, but he sits behind me in 2nd Period. Plus, he's kinda hard to forget. I don't know what to do. Help!
Thanks,
KMEH

I reckon confront him about it. In private of course. Or just get someone older and bigger that you know to threaten him. That always works. Maybe he likes you and is ty that you have a crush on his mate.

crosscanadianragweedfan04 · Feb 1, 2007, 09:15 AM

I found some big news out yesterday. I am supposed to be moving to another group home down in Ludowici, GA. I am leaving the best family I've ever had. I have brothers, sisters, moms, dads, aunts, uncles, and craploads of friends I have to just up and leave. Part of me is very glad, but wow, it is so sudden. I know it's what's best for me; it's just so hard to believe.
As for the rumors, I'm not going to worry about them, even if I was staying. The boy I like is cool with me, and knows they are not true. We may never date, but we will be friends.
Thanks for the advice.

RubyPitbull · Feb 1, 2007, 12:15 PM

I am sorry to hear that you are moving to an unknown situation but just be your generally optimistic self! :) You have a pretty good outlook on things and a positive attitude is always good. If this new place turns out to have some great people, you have just doubled the amount of positive people in your life that you can turn to if you need help!

Since this website can be accessed from anywhere, keep in touch with us. Any other problems or situations you want to talk about that come up when you move, just post. I will find you.

Hugs, girl! :)

crosscanadianragweedfan04 · Feb 2, 2007, 08:39 AM

I plan on staying on this nice little website.

crosscanadianragweedfan04 · Feb 6, 2007, 11:18 AM

The guy I like and I are now cool. He doesn't give a flip about rumors. He's above that. We will probably never be more than friends, but I'm cool with that. He signed my yearbook, and gave me his autograph, (he's in a band) and says he wants to keep in touch, via myspace and email.
Rumors?? What Rumors?