[Lyra123]

I apologize for the length, however I believe a question of this gravity requires much information and evidence.

I met this woman a few months ago, at first we hit it off and became quick friends. I soon began to see her neglect and verbally abuse her children. She has three children and one on the way, a baby, a 6 year old boy, and a young girl of either 3 or 4 and is divorced.

I will first give some information on what I have seen at this home. I first hand saw her 8 month old baby go hours with a full diaper and no food, crying for extended periods, on multiple occasions. All of her baby's food is expired formula. Anytime her kids ask her a question or for food or drink, she shrilly screams or reprimands them. In the past 5 months, the children have had lice at least twice. All of their clothes and the poor children themselves stink of animal and human feces and urine, as does the house itself. I rarely see her interact with the children and when she does it is negatively. She tells the oldest, her son, that not even she wants him sometimes and he is a terrible child. I believe he is so badly behaved because negative attention is the only attention he seems to receive. She also is rarely home, usually out at her sex clubs.

I questioned her brother, her sister, and my roommates (previously her best friends since high school and have known her for several years) about the children and her treatment of them. From these four people I have gathered this information:
My roommates have called CYS on her and she has an open case against her. They rarely are bathed and all of the four have witnessed the children asking for baths and showers as "treats." The middle child has once been hospitalized for intense diaper rash.

From this woman herself, I found out that she indeed does have a case against her, but her case worker is her personal friend.

She occasionally makes excuses such as, "I am too busy with work," which is online managing and monitoring an LGBTQ teen and young adult help site in shifts from home, and, "I have no money." I see that money can be an issue, however I myself was born into poverty and my mother always made sure to put me first; she keep me bathed, clothed, and fed properly, despite the fact she had insufficient funds. I see many people in my town with little money caring properly for their children, so I do not see this as justification.

Today the 8 month old baby "fell" down the stairs. This child cannot yet crawl or walk, and now she is hospitalized for "falling" down the steps. I do not believe that she fell, however I have no proof of what I believe to be the case, therefore I cannot accuse this woman of doing anything to the child other than neglecting her needs.

It is obvious to anyone who is around these kids that there is a great deal of neglect happening, and as confirmed by the woman herself, she is let slide by her personal friend.

Which brings us to my main question, now that you have some background information:
What can I do to end this? Is there any way to contact higher up in CYS or any other child protective service to help these children?

Thank you for taking the time to read this and to help not me, but these children.

[cdad]

You can look at their website and file a complaint for them to look into it. Im thinking CYS - Children's Youth Services ?

Children & Youth Services

[Lyra123]

Yes, Child and Youth Services. Thank you very much

[JudyKayTee]

This treatment of the children continued "multiple times" and you haven't (minimally) notified the Police?

At any rate, CALL CPS (or whatever it's called) and tell a Supervisor what you believe is true of the caseworker and the woman.

HOWEVER - my sister is a social worker, works for CPS (formerly worked with elderly abuse) and I cannot believe that she or any of her coworkers would close their eyes to child abuse out of "friendship." Maybe it's true; maybe it's not. Reports are made to Supervisors.

Yes, mistakes happen, cases slip through the cracks but obvious neglect? I'm having a problem with the concept of "friendship" allowing outright abuse to continue.

Do I believe a "friend" MIGHT give the person an informal warning? Yes.

And the woman is divorced - her "ex" doesn't see the abuse? Tell him. You know about it - it's your duty to the children as a human being to keep them safe, whatever it takes.

I can't understand this going on for a period and nobody calling anybody to report it!

I'd also tell HER (apparently other people agree and are willing to come forward) that ALL of you are aware of the abuse and intend to report it - and have reported it. It might slow her down until the authorities can get there.

EDIT: When I was in active law enforcement I was told ALL the time that X was "getting away" with Y because he/she was a personal friend of me or someone else. It never once was true. There's either proof or there's not.

[AK lawyer]

You call CYS and you keep calling until you get some action. Go to their offices and ask to see the person in charge. Call back. Keep on it.

"A squeaking wheel gets the grease."

And, as JKT said, make sure the childrens' father is aware of the situation.

[Lyra123]

I do not know the father, and thank you. I will do.

Thank you all for the advice

[southamerica]

Thank you for speaking out for these children, I hope you will be able to get them the care they need.

I'm sure it's not easy speaking out against a friend, even if you've only known her for a couple months. But at least you've noticed it and are doing something about it quickly.

[ScottGem]

There is no way a social worker would be allowed to remain assigned a case or be allowed to remain on a case if there is a personal relationship with the subject of an investigation. How do you know the social worker is a friend?

But, as the others have stated, if the abuse is a blatant as you claim, then you keep pressuring CYS. The social worker should know where the father is and should be attempting contact. Other possibilities is a grandparent or other relative to foster the children.