[momoftwo2011]

Okay I broke up with my guy of 10 yrs in Jan. We have two kids and, it was a hard break up cause he cheated and is now with the woman he cheated with. Anyway I got bored and, desperate, so went into a chat room needing someone to talk to besides people who make me feel more bad about the situation.

Well anyway I started chatting with a few but one really caught my eye we were both basically going through the same thing. Anyway we started chatting every day and night and I felt safe and comfortable and gave him my number.

Well he called and, it was nice to finally hear his voice. We decided to meet in person and yes, he was as handsome as his pic. I didn't know how he felt, I think I'm way past what he dates. Anyway he still calls and, we speak for hours every day about family, work, personal issues, it's nice to have that someone to talk to.

We've been talking for almost three months now and have yet to go anywhere together so, I believe I'm in the friend zone and, it kind of hurts cause I fell for this guy.

Any advice? He says he really likes me and, hates when I hang up or, if I'm not home he calls my cell just to see where I am. This is what confuses me. He's single and, doesn't date either. I really like him I just need advice. I'm scared to say anything don't want to jeopardize this cause if I can't have him as a boyfriend, I still want him as a friend but, I know as soon as he starts dating it's going to kill me.

Help anyone?? Thanks

[talaniman]

Ever ask why you never go out together? Ever suggest going out and sharing a good time? Why are you satisfied with waiting on him, and why are you not out having a great time with just yourself, your friends, or people you are comfortable with. I know you have two kids and are quite busy with them, and to be honest, smart guys go slow when they meet a new female, but being in the friend zone early on is a good safe place to be as you find out more about him.

Given that you are just fresh out of a nasty break up of a long term relationship, instead of looking for a boyfriend, make many friends and have many activities. Maybe invite your new friend to some activities. You need a happy balanced healthy life that makes you happy, and not just one friend that you wish he would date you.

Many of us falsely think the next "friend" we meet will be a great romance in the making. Seldom works that way, so nothing wrong with friend zone right now, but expand it to more friends. Then you won't have be stuck before your time, on someone that doesn't appear to be as stuck on you, or as eager to date and pursue romance.

Count your blessings for a friend, as you have to admit, its better than no friends right now as you get your life in order, SOCIALLY. Never fall for someone that is your only option. At least explore making more friends, maybe that's what he is doing, you never know. He might be a guy from here who is taking my advice,

Talaniman Rule - Date them all!!! Short, fat, skinny, or tall! 18 - 80, blind, cripple, or crazy!!!

At least make friends, and have fun. Got a baby sitter, invite him for coffee. I would. Just to get out of the house for a while. Don't be in such a hurry for romance, and the friend zone ain't bad at all!!

[thereshegoes]

He may never feel the same way about you, or he may just wake up and realize that you've been there all along. Maybe he is afraid to make the first move, you should just ask him. Start by saying that you really enjoy his friendship and ask him if he might like to go on a date with you and see how things play out. If he says no, let it go, but maybe he's not dating because he's waiting for you? You just got out of a ten year relationship he may be giving you some time to heal.

[HurtScorpio]

It sounds to me like this guy is interested in you and you spend a great deal of time on the phone together. You have to remember that he may be fearful because of your long relationship recently ending and the children along with knowing the father will always be in the picture. That is a lot to handle and I do not blame him one bit for wanting to take it slow and to make sure he really likes you before he invests any time and serious emotion into this. It sounds like he already has some emotional attachment and when you keep seeing someone, you know that will grow. Whatever you do, don't force it. You do need time to heal. I ruined a relationship that occurred right after a very long relationship by pushing because I was so used to being in a long term relationship. Now you have to basically start all over and accept that this may very well be a worthwhile person who is worth waiting for and if he was a jerk he would have been over and had been trying to have sex with you. Think of that. If not, you are going to have an awesome friend but by the way it sounds, he cares for you very much so just take it slow.