[justhelp]

Hi there: I can't believe I'm posting to a blog but right now I am so depressed that I don't know what to do or where to turn. I'm sitting here in a library, I'm gay, I'm almost 50, no college, I have $2 to my name and most of all I can't find a job.

For the last three years, I have become more and more lost. I had a job for 16yrs and was laid off. Everyday I wake up, search for work, send my resume, applied at several temp agencies and to date, have never.. I MEAN NEVER.. have gotten a single response from any application I apply for. I'm losing my friends because I'm a loser, I only eat when I have too, basically I will be on the streets by the end of this month. I have talents, I want work but I don't know where to go or who to turn too for help. I've gone to workshops, churches, basically all that ****.

I bought a rope today and have it ready to hang myself. I feel so detached from society, my beliefs, my dreams and inner love for myself, that waking up again is only a burden. I done all the help groups, antidepressants... you name it, I've done it. If I check in for help, I'll have to someday pay for it. Please don't tell me I'm selfish. When there is no one left in your life, how can I be selfish. I pray everday, believe in god and most of all, have lived a full life, experience all the things I have ever wanted to do or see, so I'm ready to go.

I live in Los Angeles, if someone can help... PLEASE HELP ME.

[Alty]

I won't tell you you're selfish. I will tell you that you're depressed, and you're not alone.

The economy is terrible right now, and finding a job, even for someone with a college degree, isn't easy. There are resources available though.

Have you looked into homeless shelters? Help groups that can help you build your resume, help you find a job?

I realize you have no money to seek medical help, but are there agencies that give help for free in your area? You really do need counseling, finding someone to talk to face to face about this, perhaps meds for depression (I'm on them, and they really do help).

I can beg you not to end your life. I don't know you, you don't know me, but now that you've posted you are a part of my life, and losing you would be hard. I don't know the right things to say, and I'm afraid that I'm not telling you what you need to hear. I can only ask that you not do this

You said that you believe in God. If you do, then you realize that committing suicide is a sin against God, and you will not go to heaven if you do this. I hope that alone is enough to make you think about this.

Don't use the rope. Please think this through. You're at the bottom right now. The good thing about being at the bottom is that there's nowhere to go but up. Don't give up, keep fighting. There's many experiences you haven't had yet. Live to realize them. Please.

[Fr_Chuck]

College degrees mean almost nothing now in this job market unless it is required for a specific license. And not sure what gay has to do with it, unless this has caused you to lose a partner,

So you end up on the street, it has happened to so many now aday it is not really the end of the world, you find where there are food kitchens, to eat, and shelters to sleep.
You find if any shelters has work programs.

Next not resumes, but how many places in person do you apply at, and I mean those that pay 7 or 8 bucks a hour, a job is a job right now.