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friend4u178 · Jun 12, 2011, 06:19 PM

So you told your mother that there's a guy who hits you in the face , shoots you with a BB-Gun that leaves marks and tries to have sex with you and she doesn't think it's serious :eek:

Really ????

I find that extremely hard to believe.

tryme15 · Jun 12, 2011, 06:55 PM

Ask her.. That's exactly what I said.

tryme15 · Jun 12, 2011, 06:55 PM

In jail...

tryme15 · Jun 12, 2011, 06:58 PM

Well yeah, my friend that found out said to post it on here because he thinks it's bad and he wanted to prove it to me. I said okay, and I'm realizing that it is bad. And I'm sorry :( And I trust you. I already told her the truth; everything that happened to me. And I want to call the abuse hotline now, but I'm afraid and I don't know why. I think it's cause I still have feelings for him and I don't want to see anything really bad happen to him, but I want him to realize what he did.

DM333 · Jun 12, 2011, 08:36 PM

Well yeah, my friend that found out said to post it on here because he thinks it's bad and he wanted to prove it to me. I said okay, and I'm realizing that it is bad. And I'm sorry :( And I trust you. I already told her the truth; everything that happened to me. And I want to call the abuse hotline now, but I'm afraid and I don't know why. I think it's cause I still have feelings for him and I don't want to see anything really bad happen to him, but I want him to realize what he did.

Being nervous is natural, seeking out help is a big step. It's something that needs to be done though if you want him to stop. I can assure you that calling the abuse hotline will be anonymous, meaning they won't know who you are. You can have a private 1-on-1 chat with another person about the same things your discussing here, and help you decide the best course of action to get him to stop. I'm not sure what state your in, but most states have one. Click here to bring up a list of numbers by state. Again, the national hotline is 1-800-799-7233. They have no way of knowing who you are unless you tell them. You'll be speaking to a trained professional who will help you cope with what has happened and give you the best advice possible.

It's OK to care about this individual and want what's best for him. What's no OK is to let him abuse you. You have the same rights as him and deserve to have people in your life that treat you well, especially as young as you are. If you truly want what's best for him, getting him help is the best thing you can do for him.

I urge you to call the hotline and talk to someone. Try and avoid your attacker as well as you can. If the abuse continues, you need to call the police so they can protect you. I can assure you doing nothing will only make it worse.

tryme15 · Jun 13, 2011, 10:06 AM

But hotline's are for people that are being abused STILL. I don't talk to him anymore especially since it's summer. So, that number might not work

tryme15 · Jun 13, 2011, 10:08 AM

What does ' "We" understand you' mean?

tryme15 · Jun 13, 2011, 10:15 AM

Oh and you can't get a restaining order unless he's over 18. And he's almost 17.

Wondergirl · Jun 13, 2011, 10:23 AM

But hotline's are for people that are being abused STILL. I don't talk to him anymore especially since it's summer. So, that number might not work

That isn't correct. Hotlines are for anyone who has been abused, is being abused, and thinks there may be abuse in the future.

What happens when it's not summer any longer and he begins to abuse you again? What happens if someone else decides to abuse you? It would be a good idea to begin to get your self-defense and self-protection act together now by making that phone call.

tryme15 · Jun 13, 2011, 10:26 AM

But I'm not going to let him see me anymore. We don't hangout anymore. He won't abuse me again. Besides, I don't know where the line is cut to define what's abuse and what's just messing around.

Wondergirl · Jun 13, 2011, 10:29 AM

But I'm not going to let him see me anymore. We don't hangout anymore. He wont abuse me again.

But you "allowed" him to abuse you. Are you going to stop the next person who abuses you?

Besides, I don't know where the line is cut to define what's abuse and what's just messing around.

Wow! That's the perfect reason to call the abuse hotline, isn't it!

tryme15 · Jun 13, 2011, 11:13 AM

Yeah, when we were friends. He's mad at me because my friends got his number and started calling him. And yeah, I'd hope I would.
And noo.. What if it wasn't serious and they said I filed for a false abuse?

Wondergirl · Jun 13, 2011, 11:25 AM

What if it wasn't serious and they said I filed for a false abuse?

But you and I both know it WAS serious, it WAS abuse. The hotline is not to file a report, but is an opportunity to talk with a trained professional in order to, for instance, clarify what abuse is. You said you don't know the difference between abuse and "having fun," so that would be a good question is ask.

talaniman · Jun 13, 2011, 11:28 AM

Make the call, and find out the facts, and you won't need to keep making excuses why you can't, or be scared of what ifs.

tryme15 · Jun 13, 2011, 11:29 AM

All right, I'll call. But I'm going to see my counselor pretty soon, should I ask her then, or should I do something about it now?

Wondergirl · Jun 13, 2011, 11:39 AM

Alright, I'll call. But I'm going to see my counselor pretty soon, should I ask her then, or should I do something about it now?

Ask her what? Do something about what now?

Have you talked with your counselor about the definition of abuse and about setting boundaries?

tryme15 · Jun 13, 2011, 01:22 PM

Well tell her about the abuse. And ask her to help me in calling I guess. My mom told me to talk to her first

tryme15 · Jun 13, 2011, 01:27 PM

I'm definitely not making excuses. I'm really afraid to call and my mom doesn't want me to. If you freaking don't believe me, then get off my page.

Wondergirl · Jun 13, 2011, 01:35 PM

I'm really afraid to call and my mom doesn't want me to.

Why are you afraid to call?

Why doesn't your mom want you to?

get off my page

This isn't FB nor is it your "page." You've posted a question on an open, public forum that can be seen and responded to by millions of people all over the world. And you can't dictate how they respond. You may like the answers you get and you may not.

Alty · Jun 13, 2011, 03:10 PM

Tryme, the call to the abuse hotline is anonymous, that's what it's set up for, so that people can talk freely without incriminating themselves or anyone else. It's there so that you can get help.

I find it odd that your mother doesn't want you to call. You were abused? What sort of mother do you have? She doesn't seem to care very much about your well being. :(

Call the hotline, and talk to your therapist. Most of all, stay away from this guy.

He should be reported, because I know he'll do this or worse to someone else. But I understand that you're afraid to report this. I wish you would, so you can save someone else from the hurt he's caused you, but I do understand how hard it is to tell on someone.

Right now I'm concerned about you, about you finding a way to stay away from him. This guy is an abuser. He needs help, and so do you. Get that help. You have the phone numbers, so use them. You have a therapist, so talk about it.

I hope you do.