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    tryme15's Avatar
    tryme15 Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 10, 2011, 04:09 PM
    Abuse
    I was abused by my 'best guy friend' physically. He punched me and hit me. He's punched me in the face more than once. He shot me multiple times with a BB-gun from about 2 feet away and it left marks. He knocked me down to the ground and he'd sometimes try to have sex with me. He strangled me MANY times, where the skin in your neck touches. He laughed it off and kept doing it. I never thought it was that bad, and he always said it was "love-tapping". But, now I don't believe him and I'm afraid of him. I hungout with my friends that he doesn't like, and they said they heard that he hits me. They got really protective and mad at him and wanted to fight him. They got his number and now 'my friend' is mad at me. He's not a good friend at all and he's tried to get me to smoke pot, cigars, and drink. WHAT SHOULD I DO to either get help for me or help his next victim. I don't want him hurting me or anyone else :(
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Jun 10, 2011, 06:22 PM

    Have you called the police to report what he has done
    DM333's Avatar
    DM333 Posts: 5, Reputation: 6
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    #3

    Jun 10, 2011, 09:40 PM
    First off, it is never OK for a guy to put his hands on you in a unwarranted manner, no matter what he says. You need to separate yourself from this individual for the foreseeable future. If you are under the age of 18, you need to let your parents know what is going on. If you have a situation where you can't avoid him, you need to tell him you don't want to associate anymore and ignore him as well as you can. If he continues to try and seek you out, you should call the cops and press charges against him and get a restraining order.
    BK201's Avatar
    BK201 Posts: 338, Reputation: 150
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    #4

    Jun 11, 2011, 12:22 AM
    Call the police before you would need 911. Sounds psycho. No contacts no matter what. Get away from his sight. No traces
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #5

    Jun 11, 2011, 01:41 AM

    You have posted under two different usernames-why?

    Report him to the police-also speak to your parents.
    People15's Avatar
    People15 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Jun 11, 2011, 11:43 AM
    Comment on BK201's post
    But I don't want to bring the police into it if it's not that bad. I don't think it's serious enough. And I see him everyday: He lives about 5 houses down from me, he's on my bus, he sits with my friends at school, and he's friends with my friends. So, it's reaaaallly hard to get rid of him
    tryme15's Avatar
    tryme15 Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Jun 11, 2011, 11:51 AM
    Haha I know. It wouldn't let me log back in. It said I had the wrong password, so I had to get it changed. And I don't know if I should bring the police into it. And I told my mom, briefly, but I can't come around to tell her that he's tried to have sex with me.

    I've tried to separate myself, but he lives 5 houses down from me, he's on my bus, he's friends with my friends, and he sits with my friends at school. It's really hard. And yes, I just turned 15, and he's almost 17. I told my mom, but not in that much detail. She doesn't know how bad it is. Yeah, I want to get a restraining order, but I don't know if it's that bad to get one

    Nope, I don't think it's that bad. Do you think I should?
    BK201's Avatar
    BK201 Posts: 338, Reputation: 150
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    #8

    Jun 11, 2011, 12:01 PM
    Do you have a boyfriend? Or Is there a close friend of yours living in the same lane and studies with you. Do not say its not serious, though its bad to judge anyone, it is very clear that he is abusing you. ABUSING you. What if he jumps on you and break your spine by accident, or push you off a cliff by mistake. Im just exaggerating it, but can we take a guess in this?
    You should take cover with the help of your friends. Always be with them whenever he is around. May be soon, you will get a chance to move far. Until then, keep safe.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #9

    Jun 11, 2011, 12:04 PM
    You tell your parents-and the police should be told-he's committing crimes-and other people might get hurt.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #10

    Jun 11, 2011, 12:12 PM

    He punched you in the face and shot you with a BB gun, and you don't think it is "that bad"?? Where is your mind at.

    Boy friends, or even friends don't do that, enemies and sick or evil people do those things.

    What really worries me, is that after the first time, you seem to allow yourself to still be with him, Even if you did not call the police ( which of course you should have done) you must stop ever being with him
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #11

    Jun 11, 2011, 12:15 PM

    I have merged your two threads, I am one of the moderators

    HAHAHA, does not cut it, sorry, there is prompts available to help you recover your lost passcode. Using two user names is taken serious here and is not something we laugh about

    Please choose one of the two names and don't use the other one again
    tryme15's Avatar
    tryme15 Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
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    #12

    Jun 11, 2011, 12:18 PM
    Yeah, it's pretty bad I guess. But I don't think it's bad enough for the police. And I don't know where my mind is! :( I just thought he'd be a good friend, and I was in denial about everything. And I still kind of am.
    And he doesn't seem to think so. I've told him he hits me hard, and he denies it as well.
    Yeah, I know. I never thought it'd get out of hand. And I'll call the police, but what should I say? Just "I need to report what one of my friends has done." ? Is that all?

    I'll tell the police but what do I say?

    To BK201:
    No I don't have a boyfriend, but yeah, a few of my other guy friends know, and one girl. And yeah, you're right. He's put me in a choke hold before, and he could have seriously hurt me then. And no, exaggerating is sometimes good :) And okay, will do. Thank you

    Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck
    I have merged your two threads, I am one of the moderators

    HAHAHA, does not cut it, sorry, there is prompts available to help you recover your lost passcode. Using two user names is taken serious here and is not something we laugh about.

    Please choose one of the two names and don't use the other one again
    Yeah, it didn't show.. Finally after another day it did. Don't be a jerk. And why?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #13

    Jun 11, 2011, 03:09 PM

    He is a bully, and he is assaulting you. Tell your parents the whole story, tell your school, AND call the cops.

    Just say he hits you and tries to have sex with you!!
    tryme15's Avatar
    tryme15 Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
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    #14

    Jun 11, 2011, 08:12 PM
    But it's summer, and I told my mom. She doesn't think it's bad enough to call the cops for.
    DM333's Avatar
    DM333 Posts: 5, Reputation: 6
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    #15

    Jun 11, 2011, 09:29 PM
    It sounds like you just want him to stop without you having to do anything about it, and I'm sorry to say that's not going to happen. Since you said you are 15, I would urge you to sit down with your mom and really explain to her what's going on. As uncomfortable as it may be, you need to tell an adult so that they can help you in getting him to stop. Allegations of assault and rape are very serious crimes that need to be brought to someone's attention, including your parents, school counselor, neighbor, or police officer.

    I also want to stress that someone putting their hands on you is not appropriate, no matter what he or your mom say. It does not matter how hard he thinks it is, any form of unwanted physical contact is not appropriate. If you feel like you can't stop it, I assure you the cops will.

    I would suggest sitting down with your mom once more and being completely honest with her about everything he's done and said to you. If he ever puts his hands on you again, immediately call 911 and tell the operator that you have been assaulted by him. The operator will ask for your address and dispatch a unit to your house, where you can tell the officers what has happened.

    If you would like to discuss what has happened to you, you can call these hotlines below and talk to someone. You will remain completely anonymous unless you choose not to.

    Abuse Victim Hotline Numbers
    National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673
    National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233


    I can assure you that not doing anything will only make it worse. You need to inform someone about this for your own good. I hope everything works out for you.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #16

    Jun 12, 2011, 01:39 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by tryme15 View Post
    But it's summer, and I told my mom. She doesn't think it's bad enough to call the cops for.
    You have said you didn't tell her the whole truth. Tell her the whole truth!!
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #17

    Jun 12, 2011, 02:01 PM

    You start by telling EVERYONE the entire truth (the people who post here, your mother, the Police). What do you say? Exactly what you've said here. "We" understood you.
    tryme15's Avatar
    tryme15 Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
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    #18

    Jun 12, 2011, 02:49 PM
    To Talaniman,

    I didn't tell her until someone on here said to, then I did. And I told her the whole truth. I was never lying. I just said it was going to be hard. And she STILL doesn't think it's bad.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #19

    Jun 12, 2011, 03:20 PM

    You stated that you don't think that it's "that bad". So I have to ask, why are you posting about it here?

    Obviously it is that bad, otherwise you wouldn't be asking for advice on what to do.

    Let me tell you, I've had boyfriends that beat me up badly. One guy I dated smashed my head into the windshield of his car because I wouldn't have sex with him. His windshield broke, then he beat me up because I broke the windshield with my head, which he bashed into it.

    I've been there and done that. I've had a guy I trusted pull a knife on me. I've had a gun to my face. I've been raped, you name it, I've been there.

    So trust me when I tell you that this behavior isn't normal. He's doing it to you, he will do it to others.

    Tell your mother the whole truth. If she's too naïve to see that this is serious, take matters into your hands. He's an abuser, and he won't stop until he's stopped.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #20

    Jun 12, 2011, 04:05 PM

    If mom is not going to help, find another RESPONSIBLE adult who will. He is bad news. Where is your DAD!!

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