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Grace_1125 · Jun 6, 2011, 08:29 AM

Hi... I met a wanderfl guy nearly 2 years ago who at the tme was involved with a girl that was living with someone else,so whatever reason she never left her guy for my guy(sorry if its confusing ) anyway he said he had feelings when we first met but they were never going to get anywhere,, then out of the blue 6 months ago she left her guy and has moved into the next street to us... then my ex wanted space a few weeks ago so I left for three weeks with him chasing and begging and then once I was home got cold feet... to which I left again a week ago and then he txt to ask how I was... then I said I needed the truth so yesturday my ex took me for a walk and told me he could no longer give me what I want and he keeps letting me down and he still has mixed feelings over this girl as she begs and pleads and tells him she has now left (suppose he at least he told me some truth there but that a massive part of him loves me :( will this work with this other person or do I just cut my losses thanks

BMI · Jun 6, 2011, 08:40 AM

Your subject line sums up your situation better than your entire post. I can hardly make out what is actually going on!

Anyway, my understanding is that your boyfriend is still interested in his ex-girlfriend and cannot decide if he wants to be with you or her.

If that is correct, all I can say is that if anyone I was with was torn over me and an ex, I'd make the decision for them in about 0.1 seconds.

I guess this guy 'massively' loves you and her? Please.

BK201 · Jun 6, 2011, 08:42 AM

From men's point of view: There could be two possibilities.
1. You guy has mixed feelings and confused to make a decision. This is a rare case
2. Most common. He wants to let you go, but feels guilty of hurting you. Guess if you say that you are no longer interested in him he will let go of you easily.
Think it is time to move on and find someone who loves you with whole of his heart and not dividing it to others.

Grace_1125 · Jun 6, 2011, 08:49 AM

I agree it seems he has been confused for so long-he has let me go as he has hurt me all along and he knows this... its fine and then she pops up out of the blue... mad situation... clearly he has unfinished business

amicon · Jun 6, 2011, 09:04 AM

Then leave him to his unfinished business and go about your own.

No point trying to unpack somebody else's baggage for them!

BK201 · Jun 6, 2011, 12:12 PM

I was thinking and there is also this other possibility. If he had been involved with her for a long time, when she comes back to him in a devastated situation, there is a high chance that he would feel responsible for her. Has he discussed to you anytime after she came back, about what that other girl went through, and stuff like that? If yes, then it is easy to clear his mind. And also, how long was their relation?

talaniman · Jun 6, 2011, 02:22 PM

anyway he said he had feelings when we first met but they were never going to get anywhere,,

You had fair warning he wasn't ready for a serious adult relationship, and you have no choice but to leave him to his own consequences.

Grace_1125 · Jun 8, 2011, 12:37 AM

Yes that is what he said.. he has mixed feelings about the both of us... im the real one he said while she was the affair

BK201 · Jun 8, 2011, 01:56 AM

Grace1125, what do you think about, giving him a time limit to think about what he really wants and make a clear decision? Time = a set time, say a week or so.

talaniman · Jun 8, 2011, 07:29 AM

His words and actions don't match. But they are very clear for you to get on with your own life.

AngelGirl1 · Jun 16, 2012, 06:16 PM

Originally Posted by Grace_1125

Yes that is what he said..he has mixed feelings about the both of us...I'm the real one he said while she was the affair

Honestly, a guy can say anything just to get the result he wants.. not saying that he didn't tell you the truth, but he could be saying the same thing to her about you... just something to think about.