[asmk4915]

Should I tell my boyfriend of 5 years that I had a one night stand twice and could possibly be pregnant?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years living in Tennessee, but the relationship was a rocky one at best. One day I received a job offer to move back to my home state, and I took it. He understood why I had to move, but didn't like that I was because it seemed to him like I was abandoning him. Anyway about 5 months later we broke up for about 3 weeks and got back together. Ever since then we've been in a long distance relationship with him not coming to see me since I left from Tennessee which was almost 7 months ago.

About three weeks ago I met up with my ex and we had a one night stand as soon as my period ended. And if that wasn't bad enough two weeks ago I was forced into having sex with this other guy, and now I'm waiting for my period to start, which should have started on may 2nd. Last month my period started on the 1st of the month. I haven't taken a test to see if I'm pregnant or not, because someone told me I had to wait two weeks before a test can be taken.
I am so scared I don't know what I'm going to do. I am having some symptoms of having my period, but then could I be pregnant instead. I feel nauseated, have an upset stomach, but not enough to throw up. I feel hungry all the time but when I eat, it makes me feel sick. I'm anxious now because its too early for a test too. So I would like some help too please, could I be pregnant? And how should I tell my boyfriend and parents.

[Jake2008]

Are you saying that this pregnancy (if you are pregnant) is a result of rape?

If you are pregnant, it could be one of two men who are the father?

I think that, as hard as it is, the best thing to do right now, is wait and see if you are pregnant. Only then, if you are, can you begin to sort this out, and figure out what to do.

I hope you will post again when you know one way or the other.

[Cat1864]

Did you mean June 2 should have been the beginning of your period?

Did you report the rape? You may want to look into support groups for women who have been raped. Your local health department should be able to give you a list if you are really against going to the police.

Being upset and stressed can cause issues with your period and it sounds like you have reason to be stressed and scared. As much as you can, try to calm down. Do things that help you relieve stress-hobbies, exercise, read, music, etc.

Here is a link to Webmd's page about testing for pregnancy: When to Take Pregnancy Tests: Home Tests, False Negatives, and False Positives.

As for the 'boyfriend' and cheating: Why do you still consider yourself in a relationship with him? Are either of you really trying to work on it and communicate or has it become a habit to say you are in a relationship?

IF you are pregnant and choose to go through the pregnancy, you are going to have to tell him everything and see what happens from there.

IF you are not pregnant, will your conscience allow you to not tell him?

Quite frankly, I think you need to tell your boyfriend and deal with at least part of the stress-the not knowing what his reaction will be to the cheating. Be prepared to learn things that you may not have wanted to know.

Good luck and take care of yourself.

[asmk4915]

Yes June 2nd was supposed to be the start of my period. I haven't reported it, but I know I should, and will be doing it as soon as I can. Thanks for the advice I was really scared and didn't know what to do to tell everyone.

[asmk4915]

First Question- I think it may be, but Im not sure because of what happened with my ex. If I am it could be one of the tow men as fathers, but one is hispanic/black and the other is white. Thanks for the help I'll post back when I have some news.

[asmk4915]

Well I've tried to work it out, but every time he makes up escuses not to come down and see me. If I am I'm going to keep the child cause its not the child's fault that this happened, but if I'm not then I will have to tell him at least that I was raped.

[Tblotouch]

Like everyone said you need to report rape if you were forced to have sex. I don't mean to sound insensitive but if you did that to your boyfriend twice why do you want to hurt him more by covering up the lies. Honestly I don't think you should continue with him and most guys will dump you if you tell them what you did. As guys we have issues with our ego and when you sleep with someone else we assume that there is something wrong with our manhood. Stop playing with the poor guy and let him move on. Clearly you have..

[talaniman]

Forget the boyfriend and anyone else at this point and rally support around you of people you really trust and deal with the traumatic event in your life.

Having trusted people, professional if possible to guide you to a course of action that helps YOU, and to hell with the attitudes and issues of others.

They were not forced to have sex, you were. You were the victim of a criminal, and this should be handled as such, and YOUR health both physical, and emotional must come first, and foremost.

Don't even be bothered by any one who is not 100% with you at this time.

[joypulv]

I don't think you should confide in your ex. In your question he's first your boyfriend, then your ex, and your post is actually confusing because you don't talk about him as BF in the past tense. I don't think you know what your relationship with him is. You moved away, you broke up, but you aren't really letting go, and are in that limbo people get into when there's some comfort in an ex?
First wait. Then find out if you are pregnant. One step at a time. You have huge decisions to make if you are pregnant, and you should make them without him.

[Lilymoonstorm]

Take a pregnancy test. If you were raped please report it, you don't want the guy out there raping other girls. As far as your boyfriend goes, why didn't he visit for 7 months?