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frustrated29 · May 31, 2011, 05:04 AM

I am 29 yrs old, my husband is 26. He lost his sexual drive (at least towards me) I can't even remember when, it just happened. Before we would only have sex if he was drunk so I didn't mind him drinking, not like an alcoholic but he'd drink whenever we went out. Now even when he drinks he falls asleep. He never touches me anymore. He has NEVER given me oral pleasure to the point that I don't even remember how it feels. I constantly pleasure him but then that is all he wants. He never has the initiative to have sex. If I mention it he gets upset right away and complains that nothing is ever enough for me. And whenever we start kissing immediately he pushes my head dwn so I can pleasure him, sadly that's all he wants.

I might not be the prettiest, but this situation makes me feel like if I was horrible. We've been married for 2 yrs, and even though I do love him I am not happy. I take showers and keep myself clean and try to look pretty for him with the hope that one night he'll feel like being with me.

I feel like I'm losing it, it's a subject that can't b touched because to him this isn't a problem. Am I wrong for feeling like this ? I can't even sleep in the same cold bed with him anymore.

JudyKayTee · May 31, 2011, 06:08 AM

You are married to this man and you share his bed. Presumably you talk to him about other problems in your life, his life, your joint life. You need to talk to him about your unhappiness and frustration. If alcohol interferes with his life he needs to stop drinking.

martinizing2 · May 31, 2011, 06:21 AM

ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to JudyKayTee again.
Spot on Judy

He needs to be made to understand that in a relationship any problem one has is shared by the other and a solution is sought by both.

A one sided relationship is destined to fail. It is hard enough to keep things on an even keel with both partners working towards making things work.

I can understand your frustration in not being able to talk to him about this because almost all the answers in a relationship come from good communication.

This must be where you two learn to communicate or watch the love and caring (which seems to be mostly from you) fly out the window.

If he is not willing to talk to you about this counselling would most likely not even be a consideration for him and that is what I feel would be the best thing for you at this point.
You seem to be at the end of your rope and with no cooperation from him it looks grim.

I suggest you find what you consider the best time and tell him the cold hard truth , that you are not going to be able stay in such a one sided relationship.

Remind him you still love and care for him and that is why you are trying to make things better by initiating the conversation and without both of you working on it , it is going to wither and die.

You cannot carry the burden for both of you.

BillNi · Jun 1, 2011, 03:16 PM

Most men prefer to have sex with women younger. You are 3 years older than your husband.

BillNi · Jun 1, 2011, 07:53 PM

JudyKayTee : "What? Did you take a poll? Another ridiculous answer."

Why do you think most men marry younger women?

martinizing2 · Jun 1, 2011, 09:32 PM

Originally Posted by BillNi

Most men prefer to have sex with women younger. You are 3 years older than your husband.

And that's all there is to it?

If it were true it still has little to nothing to do with this question.

What is your purpose in posting this?

JudyKayTee · Jun 2, 2011, 06:30 AM

Originally Posted by BillNi

JudyKayTee : "What? Did you take a poll? Another ridiculous answer."

Why do you think most men marry younger women?

Because they are insecure and can't handle being married to a woman who is better established and possibly smarter than they are.

JudyKayTee · Jun 2, 2011, 07:46 AM

Back to the subject at hand - Frustrated, I hope you know because it's true: It's NOT YOU. IT'S HIM.

Don't let this ruin yourself esteem.