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01Skeptic · May 20, 2011, 08:51 AM

Im 26 and she's 21 but very mature. Five Days ago my girlfriend broke up with me. We had been dating for 2 months. We had actually been talking and interested in each other for 3 months before that. But during the time we had just been talking I was still getting over a 3 year relationship with my ex. My current ex was there for me during this time and we eventually started getting closer. Feelings developed and we decided to be a couple. Everything was great. She is a sweet girl, very caring and honest. Someone that was really good for me. Especially after what I went through with my previous ex. So things were great and moved veryyy quickly along. We met each others families and we both said I love u. she said it first, And she had mentioned how hard it is to say I love you because she only says it when she means it and it had to do with her mother that passed away.Things changed when we had got into a couple of arguments. I admit I may have overracted and even gotten jealous about someone she was talking to, I know it had nothing to do with her but just knowing she used to be interested in that person bothered me. But at the same time I should have trusted her because she would leave everything out for me to see. Her phone, Facebook etc. and I am bestfriends with an ex so she couldn't understand why she could trust me but I couldn't trust her. ( my ex of 3 years cheated on me and strung me along) I even said she lied about loving me... and ever since then she got distant. Then eventually I just asked her why she was different and distant and she broke it off. We argued a total of 2 times but everything else was fine. I was very sweet to this girl. Flowers showed her I cared in every way and she did the same. It was very loving. She said maybe we took it too fast and maybe I need time to actually heal from my past breakup. Time for myself. That she wants to be friends and still cares for me and just see what happens between us. We could work it out or it could just never work. She says she doesn't want either of us to get our hopes up and get hurt. (shes been hurt, her ex cheated and did a lot to hurt her) which makes me mad because her ex did all that and yet she breaks up with me for a couple of arguments. I haven't spoken to her in 5 days and she said I'm the first person she's broken up with. I don't get it. Is there still a chance for us? Any advice? And not just telling me she's an ex for a reason.

Also, she was crying when she broke up with me.. I don't know if that matters. I know I should give her space and do no contact but for how long?

EllaOneill · May 20, 2011, 10:19 AM

You remind me allot of my current boyfriend right about now. If she creid whilst breaking up with you it should mean you still have a chance but me and my boyfriend are the same he gets jealous when I speak to boys gets abit paranoid to be honest. We argue and I have told him I love him also. Your going to have to show this girl SOON that uu care for her and you are willing to changethe way you are on trust. Because its abit obvious you don't trust the boys she talks to. Seriously boys are just friends in girls case's. You have to work fast and show her all of this other wise she will speak to a other boy and explan how upset she is and he will try and take this for his own advantage to get closer with her.. he will butter her up and make her feel specail. Hope this helps. But I do think you should lay back a bit. But get on to jher fast

JudyKayTee · May 20, 2011, 10:24 AM

Flowers don't necessarily show someone that you care about her or her feelings.

You say you over reacted. Maybe she is looking back at that reaction and deciding she can't live with it. A couple of arguments? Over what? How long, how stressful, how hurtful were the arguments? She says YOU need time, YOU need to heal. Maybe that's how you come across to her.

The fact that she cried when she broke up with you may mean nothing. She's upset, she doesn't want to hurt you. That doesn't mean she wants to be with you.

She broke up with you. It's her choice to contact you or not.

And that's a very old line - I don't want to date you, I don't love you but I want to remain friends.

JudyKayTee · May 20, 2011, 10:25 AM

Originally Posted by EllaOneill

you remind me allot of my current boyfriend right about now. if she creid whilst breaking up with you it should mean you still have a chance but me and my boyfriend are the same he gets jealous when i speak to boys gets abit paranoid to be honest. we argue and i have told him i love him also. your going to have to show this girl SOON that uu care for her and you are willing to changethe way you are on trust. because its abit obvious you dont trust the boys she talks to. seriously boys are just friends in girls case's. you have to work fast and show her all of this other wise she will speak to a other boy and explan how upset she is and he will try and take this for his own advantage to get closer with her.. he will butter her up and make her feel specail. hope this helps. but i do think you should lay back a bit. but get on to jher fast

Lay back but get on to her fast - aren't those two statements conflicting?

EllaOneill · May 20, 2011, 10:27 AM

Lay back meaning don't be so paro about boys. But get on to her fast this is what I'm saying?
Otherwise it's a big chance uu will lodse her all together because she will be with someone that isdnt like that I honestly think she likes you allot if she criedd

Homegirl 50 · May 21, 2011, 08:28 AM

She broke up with you because she does not want the drama. You have ex and trust issues she has decided she does not want to deal with.
Perhaps she was crying because the whole thing is sad for her, but that does not mean she wants you back.
Leave her alone and get yourself together