[aretobe]

I never thought about this before because there was concrete evidence proving I was not adopted. But all that was shattered a few hours ago with my mothers drunken words. She through a big bomb shell on me previously while she was in a drunken state iswell.

My evidence that I was not adopted was that they have baby pictures of me. There's other evidence to prove that they had me as a baby so that's a concrete fact. Genetically I myself, my oldest sister and my mother have a shorter nail on our right hand. Out of three siblings I am the youngest and my parents had an affair fiasco for the first and only time when I was about 12. You see how my evidence should be concrete.

Now my evidence to show that I was adopted is that me, my mother, my auntie and my cousin were In the sitting room talking about adoption and elton john adopting a baby boy when my mother redirects the conversation to be about me whispering to my auntie, enough that I could hear, "does bill(made up name for my cousin) know about john(made up name for me)", and my auntie replying "no". I made a discrete exit out of the room and went to the shops because I did not want to find out that way if she was going to say something incredibe in a drunken stuper. When I walked back into the room they went quiet for a second. The one thing my mother is not when she is drunk is incoherent and she doesn't jump from one subject to another. When drunk she is truthfull, selfish, obnoxious and very inconsiderate of how she brings up insensitive subjects. Last year she got drunk and blabbed about how her relationship with me was so great and how my relationship with my father was non existent. I don't know if I always denied it but hearing that and realising how true it was came as a huge shock to me. I just made a discrete exit out of the room and suffered another episode of insomnia.

As I said my relationship with my father is non existent but his relationship with my two sisters is very close and caring. Its not like I ever did somehting horrible to him that he'd become so distant. Even now if I asked him to drive me to a football match he would treat me as a bother and say no. Even though he wasn't doing anything at the time. Basically I could never rely on him. I recall him coming home from a tour in the army and me showering him with hugs as a kid but he would still act cold to me afterwards. At the time he would just let me hug him. It bothers me that his relationship with his sisters son is so much better than with me even though he is around me a lot more. Other things like me going out on my bike and my father saying "now if you hurt yourself don't come crying to me". Parents in general would say this but when I rode past a construction site and a building block fell on my helmet and scraped down my back I did what a five year old does and ran crying to my father telling him what happened. Thinking back it was extremely irresponsible but he did nothing and just said "i told you, dont come to me"(my mother was at work). Not even after seeing the huge dent in my helmet did he show concern. OK that's enough with my dady issues. If I'm not adopted then his behaviour as a father is a mystery to me.

Not sure if this is relevant and my mother usually isn't cold and distant but when I was about four and in school I told her I was being bullied. She said "oh get over yourself". She recited this many years later in a drunken state of course. And I just thought this was her selfish nature but if she had to choose between her own well being or my well being she'd choose her own. She did in the past so I know she would again. I think that's the same with my sisters though. I can never bring this up with my parents because my mother always sheltered me from the world and made most of my big decisions for me and never had any hopes for my future. I guess as a result of the sheltering I've become very shy and I can barly do anything for myself(not with any confidence anyway).

I promise I'm not trying to convince you to give me the answer I want because I don't know what answer I want. I want to know what you guys think of this and how I could find out the truth without asking them, be it adoption or their genetic child.

I could be related to them on my mothers side. Oh, and the physical difference between myself and my sisters is that I'm much shorter than them. I'm the shortest person in the family at 5foot 3inches. Everybody else is under 6foot. We all have blonde hair and my father has black hair in the family. Our faces don't look that different.

Sorry this was so long but its really important to me.
All answers would be greatly appreciated.

[aretobe]

I can't figure out how to edit my question.
Additional details ---> I am 23 years of age
So 5foot 3inches is my fully grown height.(yeah >.> sucks)

[Fr_Chuck]

First forget all the "I look like" means nothing, I have five boys, if they were all lined up and you were to pick the one that looked most like me, YEP, it would be the one I adopted when he was 2.

As for baby photos, if you were adopted at 2 or 3 days old, then there would be baby photos, just not photos of you and mom in the hospital together.

But there is no "concrete" proof short of a DNA test.

[JudyKayTee]

I don't see any concrete proof of anything. I think you've suffered a fair amount of emotional trauma/abuse and perhaps you would prefer not to be related by blood to your parents - but that doesn't make it so. You seem to assume that adoptive parents treat natural children better than adopted children. I don't believe that is true. Perhaps your father is more comfortable in the company of your sisters or perhaps there is something else at play.

Have you seen your birth certificate?

Where are you?

If your mother and aunt were whispering about you, ask your aunt.

[Synnen]

The only way you are going to find out is to ask your mother.

WE can't tell you.

I do suggest that you see a mental health professional, though. Whether you are adopted, your relationship with your parents is strange and it would help you move past your fears.