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    babycakes08's Avatar
    babycakes08 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jan 25, 2007, 07:49 PM
    How can I get him back?
    Hey everyone
    Im new at this so I don't really know how this works. So me and my ex were dating for a year and 1/2. He broke up with me because he said he wanted to date other people, so we broke up about 9 months ago and every day I think about him and wounder if I will ever date him again. He had a new girlfriend and they just recently broke up. She was my worst enemy recently when me and my ex were dating. She always seemed like she liked him more than a friend. So now my ex is in one of my classes and we talk to recently. When I talk to him I feel all happy and its like me and him are the only ones in the room its great. Just a couple weeks ago he's been calling me all these pet names :) that he used to call me when we were dating.
    What does this mean? How can I get him back?:confused:
    Bluerose's Avatar
    Bluerose Posts: 1,521, Reputation: 310
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Jan 26, 2007, 09:34 AM
    babycakes08,

    You can't make someone want to be with you.

    My advice is to work on yourself. Become the best and nicest person you know and you will have guys queuing up for your attentions, and then you can have your pick.

    I personally think that's where so many young people go wrong - they want it all and they want it now.

    If only they could realise that with a little personal and spiritual growth - they can have it. But it will take some work on your part.

    I'm posting some stuff on the 'Personal Growth' board that you might find useful. Why not check it out?
    Kiddybaby's Avatar
    Kiddybaby Posts: 28, Reputation: 8
    New Member
     
    #3

    Jan 26, 2007, 08:37 PM
    Well if you want to be with a man who broke up with you to be with other people that is up to you.. but why don't you feel worthy of more. He knows that he can do with you what he wants... he left you and now you may end up together again. My motto is this "when you had me you thought you did not want me ...so now you've blown your chance." I never understand women who wait around. He is not the only man in the universe. He may be the one you want but he did not want you enough because he decided to love you and leave you and given the opportunity (which he may get) he will most likely do the same again. I just don't understand women who allow this... it is beyond me.
    Sentra's Avatar
    Sentra Posts: 385, Reputation: 55
    Full Member
     
    #4

    Jan 26, 2007, 08:40 PM
    This is one not to chase after, dear. If it didn't work out when it should have, it most likely won't. Be your own best friend, by going out and finding a man who will appreciate you and you alone or better yet, forget about being with anyone for a while and stay single. Way less to worry about, wishing you well:)
    chasesmommy's Avatar
    chasesmommy Posts: 12, Reputation: 3
    New Member
     
    #5

    Jan 26, 2007, 09:02 PM
    Let me tell you, I started dating a guy when I was 17 almost 18. We dated on & off for about 2.5 years - we'd be together for 1-3 months, then break up for 1-3 months, etc. He never actually said he wanted to date anyone else, I think he was just a teenage boy & didn't really want a commitment but nonetheless I know how you feel. When he got back together the 1st time, I was so excited 'cause I wanted it so bad. So I continued to let him do this to me for the next couple years.

    Of course I was a real idiot because he wouldn't even really break up with me, he'd just stop calling & I realized we were done... until of course the next time. And it would start with him calling & talking to me like he did when we were together & my heart would melt & I'd get excited again 'cause I thought this time was going to be different.

    Well, my family & friends were totally aggravated with me 'cause I let him do this to me but there was nothing they could really do. And during the breaks I would go on a couple dates with another guy, but as soon as he called, boom, that guy was history. Part of it was I was so hooked on my on/off again boyfriend, the other part was that I really was scared to get feelings for someone else for fear they would hurt me as he did so many times.

    So finally after this happened for so long, I was talking to him again but we weren't truly back together yet when I met another guy. I went on a couple dates with the other guy & was flip flopping between what I wanted to do. Then 1 night, the new guy made a comment about how he loved to be with me & that was it, I finally ended up taking a chance on someone new & now 8.5 years later we're married with a beautiful son.

    Point of that being, don't think everything will be completely different now, he was a jerk before & honestly, probably still is. This guy might be the 1 for you but be careful & don't fall into the mess I did & end up possibly missing out on a really terrific guy.

    Good luck with whatever you do.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #6

    Jan 27, 2007, 10:06 AM
    It is plain as the nose on your face, he is keeping you hot and bothered until he can find someone else. Making it so bad you want him back and he knows this, but instead of kicking him to the curb after your breakup you accept he wants others and are willing to wait your turn for any crumbs he might have for you. Not good. After 9 months you should have moved on, and not be stuck on stupid.

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