[Bluerose]

Introduction to my post:

I hope no one has any objection but I am going through a folder of mine called The Rose Files where I keep things I have written or collected over the years and I would like to share it with you.

I am also open to questions about anything I post, so feel free.



The Awakening


A time comes in your life when you finally get it - when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

THIS IS YOUR AWAKENING.

You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change... or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon.

You come to terms with the fact that neither of you is Prince Charming or Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter), and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you. In the process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and that's okay. They are entitled to their own views and opinions. And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself. In the process, a sense of new found self confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you), and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say, and not everyone will always be there for you and it's not always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself. In the process, a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and overlook their shortcomings and human frailties. In the process, a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. You begin to sift through all of the junk you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, what you should wear, what you should do for a living, how much money you should make, what you should drive, how and where you should live, who you should marry, the importance of having and raising children, and what you owe your parents, family, and friends.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should have never bought into to begin with. In the process, you learn to go with and trust your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. There is power and glory in creating and contributing, and you stop manoeuvring through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and you can't teach a pig to sing.

You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.

You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry, and martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be; to stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes; and that 'alone' does not mean lonely.

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.

You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly okay, and it is your right to want things and to ask for the things you want... and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less.

You learn that your body really is your temple, and you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise.

You learn being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty. So, you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn, for the most part in life, you get what you believe you deserve, and much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for, and wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance.

You also learn that no one can do it all alone... and it's okay to risk asking for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly fear is, the greatest robber baron of all, FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because, you know that whatever happens, you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.

You learn life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions, you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego.

You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn to be thankful, to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people on the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally take a deep breath and begin to create the life you want for yourself.

[shygrneyzs]

Thank you posting this. Beautifully written.

[s2tp]

Very Nice Blue! I am actually at a point that I am coming to realize many of these things... I haven't reached all of them yet so I guess I still got to keep my eyes open and continue to learn from the wise:)

Thank you very much for sharing!

[Copperhead6]

I thought this was great! ( 8

[Bluerose]

A Wake Up Call

We are all in real need of a wake up call.

It was once believed that everyone had their own path to follow, their own journey to make. And no one else could interfier with the process. But, for some reason, things seemd to have changed. There is a need in some of us to try to help others to 'see' how things really are. We are just far enough along the road where we can backtrack and try to pass on what we know to those who are struggling. We might have to pay a price for this, but we do it anyway. Because we believe that if we have the urge to do it, and we are faithfully following our path, then our journey must involve helping others find their path.

If this makes little sense to you, don't worry. It just means your time hasn't come yet, but it will.

You can tell how well you are doing by how smoothly your life is going and by the people you draw to you.

Focus on the inner expansion of the heart and mind, thereby allowing your Higher-Self to redirect your life.

Learn to master your desires, your thoughts, emotions and feelings, and changing habits that are not for your highest good.

You can trust your dreams, your inner voice, your instincts and intuition, and your Higher-Self because they are a part of you.

As more new information comes forth, expanding your consciousness and dissolving superstitions, boundaries and half truths, you will begin to awaken to a new you.

[Teaching]

Very inspiring

[Bluerose]

A simple reminder to wake up and smell the roses or the coffee or the newly cut grass.. Whatever rocks your boat. It's life as we know it. Enjoy!

[Beachgrl]

Thank you, I loved it!

[Bluerose]

You're very welcome.

[startover22]

You just made me see and think about many things, I really appreciate that. Thank you!

[diya]

Thanks for sharing... life becomes so much fun and easy to live when we know there are people like you who are ready to give.

[Bluerose]

Thank you.

Been through some tough times, just want to share what I have learned.

[s2tp]

Rose,

I know I read this many months ago and probably had the best intentions to read it again but never got back around to it. I just find it so ironic that the words are everything I needed to hear today, and here it is again on my subscriptions list. This week I have just felt myself getting lower and lower... I guess I was getting lost and confused along the way because I cannot pinpoint one thing that has reason to have brought me down.

Anyway, I just want to say a huge thank you for bringing this thread back up by chance. I know its not going to 'heal' me, but it definitely encourages me and makes me feel better.

Thank you Thank you Thank you
Shelly

[startover22]

Rose, I just had to read this one more time. I still love it! Thanks...

[Bluerose]

It helped me through some tough times. I think it might help others too.

[startover22]

Yes, bring it back around everyonce in a while so we can knock ourselves over the head with a frying pan... LOL Just kidding this is the most common sense based "rule" sheet I have ever read. Thoughtful and true, I just love it and hope many more people new and old will read it... Thank you

[kay13]

Hi bluerose, I loved your post. One part of it jumped out at me.

'You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.'

I've come to realise that negative feelings are suffocating and am slowly dealing with them. The bit about building bridges instead of walls - I was in an abusive relationship for almost 20 years with my husband and we no longer have contact for my own sanity - I cannot see that these bridges will ever be built, does that mean I've not let go of the hurt caused, or are there some bridges that should be left where they lie?

[dcole]

I have tears in my eyes and I get it... thanks.

[firmbeliever]

Blue Rose,
My compliments to you...
You write so well...
It touches us deep...

Thanks for sharing

[Eileen2005]

You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

Hi Rose,

I loved your post and I could understand almost every part of it. I am not a native English speaker so sorry if my writing is not as neat as yours. I have a question for you. I ask you because you mentioned you have gone through a lot and I guess you understand what I am saying. Five years ago I started a relationship with a person I knew from school and I knew he respected and loved me. I liked him but I might not have been in love with him at the beginning. As time passed by I realized he was whatever I had wished for. We were different in some aspects but I felt so safe in this relationship and after two years I was sure I wanted to get married. For some reasons he wanted to stay friends and I was the one who insisted on getting married, because we were away from each other and for us to be together we needed to get married so that he could travel to where I was. So I went home and we agreed to get married. My family loved him too and approved my choice. He was not very emotional during the time we were together and although I could see he was happy, the days before the wedding he looked nervous and I think he had cold feet. He even told me he was not sure what we were doing was right and I assured him that we would be happy together. Anyway we got married and I left and he joined me after about 6 months. It took him a few months to find a job which was not still at the rank of his previous job back home and he did not look very happy to me. I felt it was me and sometimes I cried and told him that I thought he was not happy with me, he told me that he was just worried about his job. Anyway, after a few months I got pregnant and I do not know if it was because of the hormones or what, but I started to feel jealous and when he respected or just paid slightly different attention to other women, I felt terrible and even if the other woman was a friend I would hate her and it would affect my relationship with her ( I started to make the walls). I asked for professional help and I worked on myself and I got better, much better, but I still get jealous some times and feel that he does not love me anymore and he loves another women, and this feelings makes me not to be able to enjoy friendship with some people who might even be very good friends. It is not about everybody, just some people who I feel that do not appreciate me, if you know what I mean. I can explain more. I know other people’s opinion about me, should not be important, but before I decide to be like this there was a person that I felt this way about and now I still get the feeling that my husband is in love with her and just stays with me because he feels guilty to leave me and our child. He keeps telling me that none of my feelings are right and no one is even comparable to me in his mind, but I still have these feelings. My question is how you build bridges instead of walls. Or how do you break the walls you have made and make a bridge? How to clear my heart of the past memories and get friend with those I have lost? I can control myself about the people I meet and I do not even let myself to pay so much attention to my husbands behavior towards them, but the ones that I had this feeling about in the passed, I am still sensitive about them. And I want us to be happy. He is a wonderful father and a very good man and he respects women. Help me with this if you can.

Thanks rose,

Eileen

p.s. I also appreciate everyone else’s comments and suggestions if they are interested to help.