[mishail82]

My daughter was born in 2002 and from the start her father wanted nothing to do with us because he felt as though she was not his. In 2003 I met this great guy who accepted me and my daughter with open arms. We recently ended our relationship in the summer of 2006 which is also the time when I moved in with my sister, her fiancé and their 2 kids (which her fiancé is the father of both). My neice's are always playing with their father and doing father daughter things together and my little 4 year old is watching all of this. So one day my niece starts to inquire about my 4 year old's father which inturn is causing my daughter to ask the same question. She believes that the guy who I was in the 3 year relationship is her father, what do I say to her at such a young age?:confused:

[RubyPitbull]

Mischail, this is definitely not an easy situation and I feel for you. Did your daughter call your boyfriend Daddy? Is there any possibility of contact with him? Did it end because of differences between the two of you or because of something involving your daughter? If it didn't involve your daughter, did he express any love for her at the time you were together? Does he have any interest in remaining in her life for a while as a father figure? This would be the best solution for now and could make it a bit easier for her to transition if he was willing to see her once in a while. At 4, it is a little early to explain the biological father issue when she doesn't even know about the birds and the bees yet. Children that young cannot comprehend such complicated issues. You don't have to lie to her because she already assumes your old boyfriend is her father. If he is unwilling or unable to be involved, at least a couple of times, then you probably should just tell her that "Daddy" needed to be on his own for a while. Explain that sometimes Mommies and Daddies don't always get along and need their own quiet time. At that point, if your sister's boyfriend is kind enough to include her when he plays with his own daughters, you will find that she will soon stop asking the questions. And, your sister should really instruct her daughters not to ask your daughter questions about her Daddy. No further explanation is needed to them, or else they may ask or say something else to your daughter that will trigger more questions. Eventually, when she is a little older and can comprehend things better, you can have a truthful sit down with her when she asks about her father.

I hope this helps. All the best,.

[valarierife]

I think that the man who is around
Should be considered her father
If he treats you both well.
But, when she is older, please tell her.
Im 15, and I still have no idea who
My real father is. It hurts. So,
Tell her when she is mature enough to
Understand. (: