[girlnextdoor]

About 1 year ago, I met a guy, 'Tom', who after about 6 months, I realized I cared for deeply. The trouble is we live 8 hours away from each other. That summer, we finally told each other that we wanted to be together (only over texts though, he's quiet.) During that time (I was so happy) he was so sweet, but I was back home taking a summer class. When I returned to Tom's hometown, he told me he was 'head over heels' for my friend, though she had no interest in him and there was absolutely no warning. He had even told her that he wanted to be with me earlier.

It seems to be a love/hate relationship and he has told his present girlfriend about me (enough I guess to make her dislike me.) I feel so connected to him and I don't understand him. Some of my friends have told me that he's isn't good enough for me, he is an exercise rider and I will be going to graduate school in the fall. Does anyone have any advice? What is he thinking and what can I do to get him back or are my friends right?

[valinors_sorrow]

Forgive me for stating what I think is the obvious but Tom sounds a wee bit fickle? If he wanted you, then he'd be making tracks in your direction, right? That he has engaged the feelings of both you and your friend and has a girlfriend now doesn't exactly make brownie points in the book of romance either.

Could you ask yourself this: why do I want someone who doesn't want me? See what comes of that when you really dig for the answer. Check yourself esteem in this too, while you're at it, okay? It may be unrequited love but even that has to pick up its pride and head for greener pastures at some point... just a few thoughts to ponder here that I hope were helpful.

[s_cianci]

I'd be inclined to agree with your friends on this one. He sounds like a wish-wash without any real backbone. I don't think there's much potential there. I think it's best for you to move on and forget about Tom.