[snowflake23]

So met this man over month ago. Both 23 Everything was sweet to start with now his totally gone weird. Over past few weeks. Now he texts randomly saying can hurry and meet him, one time I made other plans and he replyed saying "oh i knew you didn't like me, are seeing another man instead, "this last time am going to see you etc The other day when I did see him he asked me to do something and I said no, then he flipped and said oh you don't listen etc. Then later on when I was on the phone he lent right beside me listening to conversation. Afterwards he turned and randomly said do you do karate I said no then he started doing air punches in my face he didn't hit me but freaked me out still.

Again later on his cousin was outside in car he came to give him a lift and he said he drop me home. Before we stepped out to go in the car he said don't act silly. Etc. Other times I've witnessed him while he was waiting for bus with me and he was punching bus stop. And in some texts he put “if you keep me happy, then I will keep you happy and will act like how you want me to.
Once when I asked him what he did in college he said he quit, as incident happened, then flipped and said made memory come back, my life's **** I know it's going to be ****. Then went on to say do think am crazy as you called me crazy in text. That was only in relation to fact he said if keep me happy then I keep you happy in past text. And proberly just going cut him off he as he rarely texts and when he does its radom "oh can you link up how long is it going to take to get there etc". He only ever tells fragments of his life. I like him a lot but I feel that has a lot issue. I don't think he has any friends he says he only goes to play ( that's his words) with his cousins. Now feel like am just with him because I feel sorry for him. Even sex is weird with him he will just lye thre after on top silent for 5 or so minutes.
I really like him a lot but maybe I should just walk away. I feel like want to help him.
but I know he has secrets and even once he said he had and he didn't want to say anything as he didn't want to risk losing me. Plus I feel like to him this is normal to him, he said never had girlfriend before

[amicon]

When it's weird,walk.

Listen to your gut instinct-something's not right here.

Don't fall into the trap of thinking you can save him from himself.

[Just Looking]

I have to agree with Amicon. When that inner voice is telling you something is wrong, listen to it.

[mystific]

feaky, crazy, manipulative, completely random...

how many more reasons do you need?

My bus would have left ages ago...

[Homegirl 50]

This guy sounds like bad news. He needs counseling not a girl friend.

[Alty]

He hits things, throws punches at your face, he's controlling. He has all the warning signs of an abuser.

Your gut is right. It's time to call this off.

You can't stay with someone because you feel sorry for them, or think you can help them. Trust me, you're not qualified to help him with what's bothering him. Only a therapist can help, and even that's iffy.

Walk away now. Be careful though, I have a feeling that this guy won't go easily.

[HistorianChick]

Always listen to your red flags.

Yes, this is dangerous behavior. If he is exhibiting this level of dangerous behavior after one month of dating, imagine what he could (will) do after a year or two if you stay with him? You are jeopardizing not only your emotional well-being, but also your physical health and your future.

I'd definitely walk away. Fast.

If you do, be prepared to back up your decision with action. It sounds like he will go a little nuts if you were to do this, but be strong.

[talaniman]

Yes he is dangerous, and crazy. But now you know why he never had a girlfriend!! Keep it that way!!

[mmresd]

He is no good in bed, doesn't treat you the way you want to be treated, and shows several red flags of an abuser. You need to back out now, make sure that when you do, cut him completely off your life. Some females stick around because they think they can change them, however, changing a person with his "symptoms" is not an easy task, and it normally does not happen.

Good luck,
Javi

[pattygrown40]

Snowflake, snowflake, SNOWFLAKE!! I could not even read all of it because common sense would tell you to run like hell!! Listen why are you surrounding yourself with danger are you that lost for love!! Girl please leave the situation get a restraining order, by a gun get it registered in your name and keep on moving forward! An if he breaks the restraining order shoot him in the leg and call the Police!! You won't even get charged for this because it was self defense!!

[Alty]

I wouldn't go as far as buying a gun and shooting him. Self defense isn't that easy to prove.

But yes, get away, and if he continues to call, stalks you, won't leave you alone, then a restraining order is in order. Then you let the police deal with him if he breaks the order.

[pattygrown40]

Altenweg, she needs the gun for protection and yes she can say it was self defense, frightened for her life! Guarantee he will get her first if this continues!

[Alty]

She can say whatever she wants. But proving that it was self defense isn't as easy as people seem to think. Yes, she should protect herself, but there are other things she should do also.

First, she should break up with him. It could be that he goes peacefully and never contacts her again. I agree that I don't think he will, but we could be wrong about him becoming a problem.

If he doesn't go peacefully then it's time for a restraining order, calling the cops every time he breaks it, making sure they have a record of everything he's done. Change phone numbers, get an alarm system, delete Facebook, etc. etc.

Stalking also isn't easy to prove. If he emails, or texts, that can't be used as proof of stalking. He has to actually make physical contact.

All in all, there's an order she has to follow. Without proving that she's in danger, she could be in a load of trouble if she takes the law into her own hands.

Yes, by all means, if she feels that her life is in jeopardy, she shouldn't hesitate to do whatever she has to to protect herself. I just wouldn't make that the first or only option.

[pattygrown40]

In this Generation we all need some kind of protection and the Police are not always there quick enough! Okay look at it this way they have already been involved sexually and that can create a problem a huge one! Showing his butt a gun will scare him off permanently, but then again he could be really sick in the head and wants to die by anyone's hand! I say protect yourself at all angles!! I have dealt with abusers done through the years and some want to die, why because they don't have the guts to kill themselves and another thing I am going to keep it real. Never I repeat never give up the goodies to someone who is throwing air punches in your face, stalking you, hiding in bushes, jumping at you, asking you crazy questions, accuses you of sleeping around and you know you are not!! That person is suicidal and a threat to sociaty. I have one daughter that God blessed me with and I would tell her the same thing. PROTECT YOURSELF!!

[snowflake23]

Am gone, last night I phone and told him on phone, he said I don't want know ***** like you, that his busy alll time and he doesn't even have time to sleep, I can't have sex with you all the time, whe am free I text you to meet up. It hurts cause really liked him and wanted him to be different from most men (he isn't first abusive man). I feel so low and worthless at moment, that wanted to slit my arms. He only ever viewed me as cheap, useless worthless I guess like most men

[snowflake23]

Am gone, last night I phone and told him on phone, he said I don't want know bi"@ch like you, that his busy alll time and he doesn't even have time to sleep, I can't have sex with you all the time, whe am free I text you to meet up. It hurts cause really liked him and wanted him to be different from most men (he isn't first abusive man). I feel so low and worthless at moment, that I slit my arms. He only ever viewed me as cheap, useless worthless I guess like most men

[pattygrown40]

Snowflake, you are not worthless but try to concentrate on something else other than a guy or sex! Like Education go to college get a degree and then get involved with a good man that has education and a degree! Stop selling yourself cheap and stop abusing yourself!! NO you do not want to abuse yourself in anyway at all and stay away from these ghetto guys who don't mean you no good!! You are nuch better than what they can offer you!! love yourself Snowflake!!

[pattygrown40]

Snowflake you need some counseling and really quick!! No man is worth abusing yourself over are you serious??

[snowflake23]

I went to college and I got good job. I try to tell myself am better than that when things keep happening in repeat I just shut down. I build my confidence and concentrate on other things then if man come along which do like, its like its to good to be true then I feel like rubbish again

[snowflake23]

I don't know what's wrong with me I just feel empty inside, I just put myself into this habbit of every time a man hurts you to scar yourself then always remember those men who hurt you