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Uber Member
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Apr 29, 2011, 07:27 PM
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To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With
Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars.
See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't DisguiseYour Voice!
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If they want fries with that.
4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions,
Switch to Espresso.
5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write 'For Marijuana'
6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
9. Sing Along At The Opera.
10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can' t Attend Their Party Because You have a headache .
11. When The Money Comes Out of The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.
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Uber Member
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Apr 30, 2011, 04:31 AM
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Hilarious.
I can check off #8 and # 13 so far off the list.
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Ultra Member
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Apr 30, 2011, 07:07 AM
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#11... wait, what? Doesn't everyone do that anyway? :D
For the really adventurous: Randomly dig holes in your front yard. At night. While wearing a raincoat, and singing "Happy Birthday"...
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Ultra Member
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Jun 5, 2011, 08:52 AM
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I'm starting with #3 and see how far I get.:)
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Dogs Expert
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Aug 23, 2011, 08:05 AM
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These made me laugh! Awesome. I'm going to start on #4 Muahahahahah!
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Ultra Member
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Aug 23, 2011, 08:17 AM
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Haha. Love it!
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Ultra Member
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Aug 23, 2011, 08:43 AM
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I've put Decaf in the coffee machine at work to see if anyone would notice. Yeah that didn't go over so well.
And if someone has a jar of M&M's on their desk I will throw a few skittles in there. It is Hilarious!
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Ultra Member
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Aug 23, 2011, 11:00 AM
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I always forget where I park my car. And today on campus I forgot where I parked again. Normally I would feel silly and be frustrated. Today I had to laugh to myself though because I lost count of how many people drove behind me trying to follow me to my car to take my parking spot, only to finally realize I was lost and they were wasting there time going in circles with me. Lol
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Ultra Member
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Aug 23, 2011, 01:58 PM
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justcurious55 You have to see the peoples reaction. They get a puzzled look on their face then give a little head shake. It never gets old!
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Ultra Member
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Aug 23, 2011, 02:00 PM
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I may have to find someplace to put out my own m&m's and secret skittle bowl just to see. Lol
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Uber Member
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Aug 27, 2011, 03:33 PM
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When I am at the checkout line and the cashier asks me if I want a bag for my purchase I ALWAYS say "No thanks, I'll just eat it here" regardless of WHAT I buy, including dog food, cigarettes, literally anything. I do get some strange reactions from cashiers.
And when they ask me if I'd like something else I always say "Yes, I'd like a new husband, a new kid, a new car, a new house and a million dollars". Will you please give me a call when any of this shows up in your store? Some chuckle, some don't.
Today the cashier at the smallish grocery store I go into told the folks ahead of me in line that the "bag of money" in aisle 5 was not replenished this week, maybe next week." Now that guy is going to go far...
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Ultra Member
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Aug 27, 2011, 03:43 PM
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Haha. When customers tell me things like that, that they missed the aisle with the winning lottery tickets or new bmws, I tell them I've been looking for those too and to let me know when they find them.
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To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity:D
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With
Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer
At Passing Cars.
See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
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