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Dc2quicc · Apr 23, 2011, 07:25 PM

My girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me 3 days ago on April 20.. I haven't seen her since she left. We text but I get nothing but mean texts bak and I understand.. She went through my fone and seen sum things. I wasn't cheating on her or talking to another girl I was just looking at things... She got so heated up and started yelling at mee. It was because of my stupidity that she left. I miss her so much and I don't know what to do or say I've apologized millions of times and it seems like its not working one bit. Can someone please help on what I can do to get her back. I love her so much and ill do anything to get her back.should igive her time to clear her head and cam down for awhile ?

talaniman · Apr 23, 2011, 09:09 PM

Step back guy, and leave her alone to cool off. She will call when and if she does, but in the meantime, just do your thing without her, and do nothing to add fuel to the fire, like contacting her, or trying to.

Its tough, but has to be done.

grammadidi · Apr 23, 2011, 09:15 PM

The best thing to do is give her the space she needs and hope that at some point she will be willing to talk to you so you can work it out. If you can, try to let her know that you understand she needs time to sort through her feelings, but you made a mistake and you are sorry; you do love her very much and you hope that she will at some point be willing to communicate with you about it in the hopes of trying to work things out together. Then you don't contact her any more. If she truly returns your love, she will eventually talk to you. If she doesn't then you lick your wounds and move on.

I know it's difficult, but if she isn't willing to talk to you there isn't much you can do. Both partners in a relationship need to be able to talk AND listen in order to communicate effectively.

Good luck!

Hugs, Didi

talaniman · Apr 23, 2011, 09:22 PM

If I may ask what could she have seen on your phone that got her so hopping mad. If its not cheating or another girl what was it??

Dc2quicc · Apr 24, 2011, 03:06 PM

I understand what both of you are saying.. But do you think after 3 years of being together she culd just forget me like that?

grammadidi · Apr 24, 2011, 03:52 PM

Oh, I doubt she's forgotten you. She is probably very, very hurt or very, very angry and is re-thinking your relationship. If you push her, you will likely lose her. If you show her the respect she requires and let her deal with it herself first then it's possible she will come back and try to work things out. I think the odds are better if you lay low and let her think for awhile.

Good luck!

Didi

Dc2quicc · Apr 24, 2011, 03:57 PM

I see what you are saying. So its best if I leave her alone for a week or so? After all of this it made me realize how much I want to be with her. She still hasn't talked to me at all and I wish she did but she hasn't responded to and e of my calls or texts.. This truly made me see how much I want this girl in my life.. And I'm thinking about purposing to her a week or two. Do u think I shuld let a week go by then juss tell her how I feel and purpose to her? Only thing is that she still hasn't talked to mee.

talaniman · Apr 24, 2011, 04:03 PM

You still have not told us what she is mad about.

Cat1864 · Apr 24, 2011, 04:10 PM

I'd hold off on proposing for awhile even if you do get back together.

Do you mind sharing what she found on your phone that caused such a strong reaction?

Is this the first time in three years that you have broken up or have there been other issues in the past?

Is this close to how she normally handles arguments?

Definitely give her time to calm down. However, if this is part of a pattern, be prepared to move on.

grammadidi · Apr 24, 2011, 04:13 PM

By the sounds of things I wouldn't propose for awhile. I'm thinking you are really going to have to prove yourself with this gal. Truth be told, you may not ever have the opportunity. It depends upon how strongly she feels about what she found on your phone. If it goes against everything she believes in... well, you can see that this could be the single most important lesson you learn in life.

chuff · Apr 24, 2011, 06:17 PM

Dude, she just dumped you and you are going to propose to her? HELLO!! The house is burning down, why would you run back in to put wood in the fireplace?

Also, quit avoiding Tal's question, you ought to be mad she was snooping on your phone, but instead she dumped you and won't talk to you... so what was on that phone that cause this? Perhaps she's not the bad guy in this situation.

vanheart · Apr 25, 2011, 08:41 PM

"It was because of my stupidity that she left"

Not sure Im hearing the whole story. But... She's NC.

Leave her alone. Karma, man.

Dc2quicc · Apr 25, 2011, 09:30 PM

What does NC mean?

Wondergirl · Apr 25, 2011, 09:33 PM

No Contact.

It's absolutely no contact by phone or texting or IMs, in person, or through mutual friends.

JOQ001 · Jan 25, 2012, 07:48 AM

I am in the same situation, well mine was from her friends causing an issue and a rift in our relationship. I acted out at one point, tried to apologize and make it up, however she has kept me at arms length since. I am at the point where I need to just let her go. Usually when a woman makes that decision, there is no coming back.