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academia · Apr 20, 2011, 05:45 PM

I got married at age of 21 my husband was 25 we fall in love and after dating for like 8 months decided we wanted to be together and we got married. He also knew that it was the only way of staying in the country for me cause at the time I was illegal, we move into a one bedroom apt and then to a two bedroom , I was working as a waitress and he remain in his same job, I will watch his daughter that at the time was only 3yrs old on sundays for him to go to work... we separated because I found out he was cheated and break up and he move out living me paying rent by myself of 1,200.00 that I couldn't afford at the time... after a while we tried to get back together and I found out that he was still cheating with the same woman, now I separated him and went to live with family while also was going to school and manage to get a better job... and I guess I was so much in love that we never stop seeing each other I wanted to believe everything that he was over with his affair and I got pregnant with our son who is 4yrs now and we got back together again... now while I was pregnant he cheated with the same women disrespected me and got his family involve and this woman became close to them and also his daughter... I should mention that his family thought that I was the reason he left his baby mom and they didn't like the idea he marry someone so fast and without telling them anything... we had a city hall wedding and got away for our honeymoon... in one of our repidetly breakups he bought a house... every time we live toguether I always help with half rent an food and any expense... even pregnant I always paid for my own things he never gave me anything... so I finally decide to leave and got my own apartment and again wheni finally was moving on he came around and ask me for a last chance that he had change and that he was willing to do anything to get his family back.. but now another problem is that he never wants to put the house on my name while I am the one paying for the apartment where we live the house is out of our state like 2 hr away and his contribution only covers our son daycare... I been buying clothes paying the rent, gas, phone, internet, my own expenses and our sons expenses... also I had to find someone to get my son after school cause he stop picking him up cause he claims needs to get another job... I don't work closed enough to pick our son on time... so he was helping with that... he wants for me to support him I told him that if he put my name we would share half in everything and that I will also give him money as my contribution since I didn't put any money towards the purchase of the house... now we haven't been doing good with money I propose to sell the house or rent it and either buy one toguether or use the money to get out of his own death if he rents, but neither he refuse to either or... I finally got upset cause he keeps buying stuff for that house and never ask me or consult anything with me in the mean time I am overwhelmed paying and living in an apartment I can't save money cause have to many bills while he only gives enough to cover the daycare because he have his mortgage to pay... please I am asking for your advice am I wrong for wanting some stability in my life and for my husband to make me feel secure...

ScottGem · Apr 20, 2011, 06:11 PM

First most of this was unnecessary, but what is unclear is what you want advice about? Do you want a divorce do you want to make sure you get child support and spousal support or what?

academia · Apr 20, 2011, 06:50 PM

Thanks for your answer what I need is to know is if I am entitle to anything and if does it matter that we had separated couple of times for the court to decide... as far as child support our child is 4yrs and we now been marry 10 yrs... do I also get spousal support I make about 15,000.00 dollars less than him per year and yeah I want legal advice for a divorce...

Fr_Chuck · Apr 20, 2011, 07:04 PM

If you are entitled to any part of the house will depend on your local laws, Assuming you are in the US, it will depend on state law.

Since this was what it appears a "off and on" relationship I can almost understand him trying to protect the house, and you making any payments gives you no rights. What would give you rights is if the state views you as part owner since you were married at the time of purchase of the home.

As for as spousal support, that also will depend on first the local laws, and in general your income before you were married, difference in earnings, perhaps your earnings now compared to before you were married and more.

ScottGem · Apr 20, 2011, 07:21 PM

So get yourself a lawyer and file. We don't know what you will be entitled to, that's for a court to determine. Your attorney can give you a better idea.

academia · Apr 21, 2011, 05:32 PM

In the ten years we live toguether for most part of it we bought furnitures toguether and we had apartment in ny toguether in every separation was for 6 to 8 months and I move out one time and the second time he was living at the other women place... he put me under economical stress and this was intentional he even mention by proven to court that we weren't living toguether for a streight period so he knew what he was doing... he would not have been able to support that mortgage if it wasn't for me paying the place where we were living in ny and that allowed him to work in ny there is no way he would travel from pennsilvania to ny every day to be at work at 6:00 a.m. so yeah he use me... and use the other woman tohis convinience do you still think that the court won't look into that? At the time to make a decision the only reason I ask is because I am not sure if is my best to walk out f this after 10 yrs of abuse empty handed.. or do uncontested divorce.