Originally Posted by
smudge1912
my boyfriend who i have been with for 8months found out in january that his dad has terminal cancer.
i try to help him but feel like i make the sitution worse.i know he speaks to his best friend about it and im happy he is talking to someone just wish it was.
i havent met any of his family and we recently found out we were pregnant and we lost it any suggestions please im at a lost end
I was widowed. I found that the most helpful people were those who LISTENED to me. I didn't need answers because there are no answers when your husband dies. I didn't need sympathy. I didn't need free advice. I didn't need to hear that things would get better.
I needed someone to just listen to my fears, my uncertainty, my concerns.
He was hospitalized for months at a time, I knew how hopeless his medical condition was. I still needed people just to listen.
Your boyfriend is facing a tragedy, he knows it, he can't stop it from happening. He undoubtedly feels helpless.
The best you can do is be there. Take your clue from him. There were people I simply couldn't talk to when I was widowed because for whatever reason talking to them caused me to break down. There were other people I could talk to. I have no idea what separated the two groups.
You just lost a child. You are grieving, too. Don't put all of your focus on what your boyfriend is going through. Be certain to take care of yourself. You have suffered a loss.