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lisa_14 · Apr 18, 2011, 12:19 AM

Hello I'm a 14 year old girl and both my parents have a disability my mothers is severe and my fathers is mild... It is really hard for me to think of my parents as my parents for almost as long as I can remember I have been given the wife and mother, my mother and my little sister have become like my children and my father I think of him as my husband... I have so many responsibities at home everything from budgeting and balancing the books to helping my sister with homework to looking after the emoptional and physical needs of the family and satisfying my fathers sexual needs as well... I am questioning whether this is right and sometimes I just get so angryu I feel like I'm going to explode... its just I feel bad for questioning this cause I Love him and I'm not suppose to question his actions.

Is this normal am I just overeacting?

nutzz · Apr 18, 2011, 12:35 AM

This is not at all normal... You should not be satisfying your father's sexual needs... Of course you should take up responsibilities of the household since your mother is not able to do so.. But at the same time you should find time for yourself too.. You should clearly deny your father and save yourself from this assault..

amicon · Apr 18, 2011, 12:41 AM

Where do you live?
Can you talk to an outside responsible adult?

You need to get help and you need to get out-what your father is doing is illegal and your situation is far from normal.

lisa_14 · Apr 18, 2011, 01:20 AM

I'm in australia, I'm trying to get up the courage to tell my counsellor at school... its just I have this loyalty and love for him and I feel responsible for his wellbeing still

amicon · Apr 18, 2011, 01:24 AM

Please go talk to them tomorrow-you need help-you are being abused and used.

ken007nielsen · Apr 18, 2011, 05:09 AM

Hello Lisa.

What your experiencing is in no way normal, you're a teenager - other girls your age is worried about what they going to wear tomorrow or some test at school, or something similar to that. As your life is right now you have the responsibilities of a grown women in every sense of the word and that's wrong on so many levels and I feel very sorry for you - it's too much.

About the sexual assault, and it is sexual assault - if you think otherwise it's because that's the way you've been raised. BUT is IS wrong I promise you.

While you build up your courage to go see the counsellor please keep this in mind, not long from now - your sister is going to experience the same things you have since your father can't tell right from wrong and she might not be as strong as you - and it will have dire consequences. Perhaps not immediate, but they will show later on in life.

So tomorrow preferly now - talk to someone explain your situation.. But get it done, not only for yourself but for your sister as well!

mmresd · Apr 22, 2011, 08:18 PM

Lisa, what you are experiencing not normal. You have been brought up in a very weird environment and have a fog-like way of thinking. There is help out there, don't gather the courage to speak to your counselor... JUST DO IT!!

Good Luck,
Javi

ScottGem · Apr 23, 2011, 04:31 AM

Originally Posted by lisa_14

its just i feel bad for questioning this cause i Love him and i'm not suppose to question his actions.

... its just i have this loyalty and love for him and i feel responsible for his wellbeing still

NO!! HE is responsible for your wellbeing, not the other way around. You do not owe someone loyalty when they are abusing you.

I can understand being asked to help around the house etc. But asking you to perform sexual favors crossed over the line. Once he did that, he lost any consideration as a parent. You need to put a stop to this NOW before he starts in on your sister.