[bliss0212]

Hello all,

I feel silly writing this but would really appreciate your take on this.

I've been friends with a woman from work, "Jane." There are many features that I found appealing, but never looked at her in that light because I was focused you someone else at the time. She knows I'm bi, but prefer women and she's even confessed to having a crush on a girl in her apartment. This surprised me since I always considered her very straight.

As my heart was crushed from the eventual break up, Jane was always there for me. She invited to her birthday party and even planned a Single Girls' Day Out on Valentine's Day. She also recently broke up with her playboy boyfriend. We just had a wonderful time and I was happy not to feel so lonely. She's a true friend.

However, lately something in me started changing and I'm starting to see her a bit differently. I noticed how she likes to sit close to me and truly seems to enjoy spend time with me. I'm trying to remember if she's always been like this or am I becoming more aware.

The flirting just recently started and we would talk about everything! Even dating, but never about dating girls. Our co-workers seem to think we're an item even though we just recently started thinking this way. She even told me if a guy liked her he would have to approach her, she would never make the first move. Does this apply to a girl. ;)

Just when I'm ready to maybe take a little step closer, she gets angry with me. WTH! No idea why and I'm giving her plenty of space to chill. Is it possible this anger could mean she's a bit crazy or is the possibility of something more happening with us starting to scare her? Or did I take her ultra-friendliness/flirtation the wrong way?

As I start learning even more about her, my respect and admiration has grown exponentially! I don't remember ever falling for a friend and I think it could be quite beautiful, but also don't want to lose the friendship either.

Long letter, but hope it gives you an idea of my interesting situation. Thanks so very much in advance!

[martinizing2]

It sounds like maybe you read more into what was going on than there actually was.

You may have became more aware of your interaction as you came out of the fog caused by your break up , and the growing attraction you have for your friend.

Then you made the mistake so many do and assumed the friendship was ready to move up a bit.
This is where you should have simply asked her how she felt about you and the relationship you have.

Any relationship is going to work much better if it is based on honesty and communication.
When you keep communicating with your partner you know how they feel and eliminate the conjecture and guess work that can be a major problem.

From a base of knowing what the other feels it is easier to plan what you are going to do or what not to do.
This also makes you both more relaxed and comfortable as you spend time with her and get to know each other better.

When you base your relationship on honesty and communication it will be much stronger and you can act with confidence in knowing what your partner wants and expects from you.

[bliss0212]

That actually makes a lot of sense! A part of me knows that talking directly about it might be better in the long run, but then I also run the risk of making her uncomfortable. But better to find out sooner before more emotions develop and if I'm wrong, then a true friendship will get pass this too. Thank you so much for your reply! :)

[martinizing2]

I think it would be better to be uncomfortable in a conversation rather than in an attempt to get physical. ;)

And thanks , I appreciate the feedback. :D