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vidha · Apr 13, 2011, 03:02 AM

Teenage Queries

adviceishere · Apr 13, 2011, 03:24 AM

Is there an age difference between you both? If you or he is 16 and the other is a lot younger than 16 then yes it may be wrong. Its not wrong to date at 16 or be in a relationship with someone that is of age and/or has permission to date by a guardian

ScottGem · Apr 13, 2011, 03:33 AM

Not in my opinion. I believe teens can start on on one dating around 14. So having a boyfriend at 16 is pretty normal.

However, there may be issues depending on the boyfriend. The boyfriends should be around the same age. He should treat you respectfully and your parents should approve.

chuff · Apr 13, 2011, 06:00 AM

I would actually say it depends on what your parents say. While it's not the worst thing in the world, I can also understand why they'd want you to focus on school, if that is the issue you are having. But for the reality is at 16 it's okay to have a boyfriend, but also be prepared to realize that you are in the minority of people at that age who would last long term with the same person. So if you do have one, don't make him your entire life, just a part of it.

talaniman · Apr 13, 2011, 06:56 AM

Depends on what your parents have to say about it. If they say its wrong, then it is.

vidha · Apr 13, 2011, 07:10 AM

But my parents don't approve dating
They stop me from getting too close too guys

chuff · Apr 13, 2011, 07:12 AM

Originally Posted by vidha

But my parents don't approve dating
They stop me from getting too close too guys

Well, then you have to focus on school now and date when you are an adult.

vidha · Apr 13, 2011, 07:21 AM

But I already focus on school... I am a bright student and always stand first in my class

adviceishere · Apr 13, 2011, 07:23 AM

There's not much we can do about your parents, while your still a minor, what they say must be respected.

vidha · Apr 13, 2011, 07:24 AM

But I also want to move on.. All my friends date... Their parents have no problem

adviceishere · Apr 13, 2011, 07:25 AM

Have you talked to your parents recently about this?

chuff · Apr 13, 2011, 09:06 AM

Originally Posted by vidha

But I also want to move on..All my friends date....Their parents have no problem

I'm not disagreeing with your point but when I read this my first thought was "so what." Some parents let there kids do drugs. Some parents let there kids bully other kids. Read posts on this very message board and you will see the reality is some people posting here are parents and I'm not convinced a lot of them should be... or at least make decsions that are clearly not the best. I'm not saying parents are going to be perfect, including yours, but right now they want you to focus on being a kid or school and not boys. Even though I've never met them, I know why they want you to do that, because they are looking at your life 2 years, 5 years and 10 years from now when the mundane life of being a student actually takes practice in the real world.

Now, I'm not saying your not a good student, but you parents want one priority for you, and if you approach them I'd suggest that you say you would like to start dating on a temporary basis but under the agreement that YOU know school will come first, and then this is the kicker, you will actually have to follow that promise.

ScottGem · Apr 13, 2011, 03:02 PM

Have your parents explained WHY they don't want you to date? While I totally agree that if they don't allow it, you are stuck, that doesn't mean you shouldn't try to convince them.

Show them this thread. Explain to them that in our society, teenagers can and should start having relationships by this point. Tell them you are willing to abide by any rules they set on your dating, like their meeting the boy first, curfews etc. But if you are a good student and respectful daughter, I would allow it.

talaniman · Apr 13, 2011, 06:18 PM

Do you have someone in mind? Has someone asked you out? Are you allowed to hang out with your girl friends??

vidha · Apr 14, 2011, 01:55 AM

I don't have anyone in my mind... but a lot of guys ask me out and I do hang out with my girlfriends... I have asked my parents why wouldn't they let me date but they don't give an answer

ScottGem · Apr 14, 2011, 03:28 AM

Do you have someone else they respect to side with you? A favorite aunt, grandparent, clergyperson? Someone who understands modern society who will talk to your parents for you?

I am bothered that they won't give you an answer. Its one thing to make rules for your children, but it's a poor parent who refuses to explain or discuss those rules with their child. Especially one your age. Again, show them this thread and maybe they will see the light.

vidha · Apr 14, 2011, 03:33 AM

There are people who could show this side to my parents but I know my parents won't pay any heed to it.. I don't completely blame my parents for this as Indian society is a bit conservative...

ScottGem · Apr 14, 2011, 04:05 AM

Well, I'm sorry, but there is little more we can do. You have gotten good advice, but if you feel you can't follow it, I guess you will just have to wait a couple more years until you are 18.